As a human, we all know that life is unpredictable. It is full of ups and downs and we all give suggestions to the people around us. But when it comes to us, sometimes we become helpless. It can be because of:
- We never expected this situation to happen
- It was our biggest fear
- When we think the situation is not in our control.
- When negativity is too high around us or with us.
- It was the most important relationship or thing of our life and we can’t imagine our life without it.
When such helpless situations arise, we ask certain questions ourselves:
- Why me?
- What bad karma I have done?
- Why do bad things only happen to me?
- Why do I always get the opposite of what I desire?
- Why I can’t see anything good in this situation?
This entire ‘why’ keeps disturbing us as we face such helpless situations in life. Answers of these questions seem necessary to be answered. But we don’t get answers to these questions immediately, most of the time. With time we might realize that such situations in life make us more mature, strong, confident, and wise.
Interpreting Adversity
While being in the process, it’s difficult to find meaning in such situations. Hence, whenever one faces such difficult situations in life, we must keep reminding ourselves that previously also we have fought such difficult battles within ourselves and with others. As last time we did our best, and this time we will. We might not get results as expected or we might get. In both situations we learn something and life is about learning and creating meaning in life.
The same situations bring different emotions in each individual. One can take it as an opportunity another can take it as an obstacle. This meaning is created by the belief system and experience we hold. That’s why instead of teaching, we talk about involvement in parenting. As the person is involved he/she develops his or her own way of thinking.
As the person’s thinking develops, he/she perceives oneself as more competent and confident. It leads to better self-efficacy, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-regulated personality.
Without acceptance, no problem can be solved and to accept the difficult situation, what we need is a conference.
We can enhance our confidence and level of acceptance in life if we keep reminding some hard facts of life-
- You can’t be everyone’s favorite.
- People will judge you because you also judge them by saying they are judging you.
- There is no absolute right or wrong in life. You can be a villain and hero at the same time.
- Being flexible in thinking is not similar to being manipulative. Flexible thinking is a sign of wise character.
- A bad day and a bad relationship do not mean a bad life. Life is about what you make it.
- Serving the people will give you peace of mind.
- You are right, it does not mean another person is wrong.
- Nobody can understand you completely. Because you are yourself not clear most of the time. If you are clear your half of the problem is solved.
- There is a difference between what is said and what is heard. People listen and create meaning on the basis of their past belief and experiences.
- All your dreams cannot be fulfilled. Expecting this can only disturb you. If you want to achieve something you have to learn to give it up of the right thing.
- Perfection is subjective. Best efforts are advisable.
- You are the Author of your life. Write as you want.
The list is long and more facts can be added as per one personal experience.
Beyond Pleasure
From time to time we all have to revisit these facts of life. Because in new situations the same fact will create different meanings.
The more you will be ready to learn the more difficult challenges you will face in life. As you are being directed towards the higher purpose of life. Instead of focusing on pleasure if you focus on understanding, your pain will be more worth experiencing.
Till our last breath, we will desire. If you understand the difference between need and want you will be able to enjoy life more. Stay calm and chill. Bad days will add experience and good days will add pleasure to your life. Both are necessary for a happy life.
Each day do something good for yourself. Because your vibrations decide your perspective in day-to-day life.
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