Psychology behind Self-Esteem
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Psychology behind Self-Esteem

Psychology behind Self-Esteem

We all have inner feelings of who we are, often called ourselves. How we evaluate ourselves is called self-esteem. It reflects our feelings, our abilities, lovability, and overall value. This entire sensation is referred to as self-esteem, or how much we appreciate and respect ourselves. People with higher self-esteem generally feel confident and positive about themselves while those with low self-esteem may feel unsure or conflicted. Extreme self-doubts or self-hatred are rare and typically found in people with mental health challenges.  

Self-esteem is a broad concept that refers to how we assess ourselves. It is sometimes referred to as self-awareness or self-evaluation. For more than a century, psychologists have researched self-esteem. And many notable figures have emphasized its significance. Early therapists such  as William James related self-esteem to accomplishing personal goals, whereas Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers emphasized its importance in personal development and mental well-being. Maslow viewed self-esteem as a basic human need, while Rogers believed it was developed via unconditional love and acceptance from others.  

Read More: Hierarchy of needs: Human Love and Belongingness explained by Abraham Maslow

Today, self-esteem is viewed as a complicated idea with many different parts. It has a big impact on our personal and social lives. Building healthy self-esteem remains an important part of personal and emotional well-being. Understanding self-esteem better can help psychologists and experts create more effective ways to support people in improving well-being. 

What is Self-esteem? 

Self-esteem is our inner voice that expresses how we perceive ourselves. It is how we think of our abilities, looks, and personal worth. People with high self-esteem are generally satisfied with themselves, but those with low self-esteem may experience feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Self-esteem is not the same as arrogance or overconfidence. It’s about taking a balanced view of yourself. A person with healthy self-esteem acknowledges their talents and accepts their fault without letting them define their worth. 

Read More: The Psychology Behind Overconfidence

Development of Self-esteem  

Self-esteem evolves throughout time and is directly related to how we perceive ourselves (self image) and our awareness of who we are (self-consciousness). This process can be unpredictable, especially during life changes. For instance, in adolescence, physical and emotional changes frequently cause a decrease in self-esteem. In old age, retirement and reduced responsibilities might sometimes cause a decrease in self-esteem. According to research self-esteem typically declines during adolescence and rises during young adulthood.  

  • Childhood experiencesself-esteem during early childhood and if influenced by relationships with family, caregivers, and classmates. They have an important role in developing self-esteem. Supportive and nurturing surroundings encourage good self-esteem but neglect or criticism can have the opposite impact. When parents participate in their children’s lives and give them some freedom and independence, they develop stronger self-esteem.  
  • Self-comparison: self-esteem is often affected by how people see themselves compared to others. Social media has increased this tendency by exposing people to crafted images of other’s lives which may lead to feelings of inadequacy.  
  • Cultural influences– cultural norms and values also influence self-esteem. For example, in Western country’s cultures, self-esteem is mostly based on their accomplishments, emphasizing their own achievements, while in countries like Asia and Africa, their culture places a higher  value on interpersonal relationships and collective peace so their self-esteem is correlated to a person’s ability to contribute to their community and uphold solid social ties. People’s perceptions of themselves and their values can be influenced by these disparate cultural standards. 
  • Life events– Self-esteem can be greatly impacted by important life experiences, including trauma, big transitions, achievements, and failures. These encounters eventually add to the  story that people talk about their value. 

High self-esteem  

High self-esteem is necessary for happiness. Research reveals that self-esteem has a substantial impact on emotional wellness. People with high self-esteem are happier, more optimistic, and more motivated while experiencing less depression, anxiety, and negative emotions. 

Hermione Granger from Harry Potter demonstrates positive self-esteem. She is confident in  her intelligence and ability while remaining humble and eager to learn. Hermione’s self confidence enables her to overcome obstacles, encourage her friends, and thrive intellectually.  Her persistence, tenacity, and capacity to accept constructive comments show the benefits of  having healthy self-esteem. Another example is Harvey Spectre from Suits. 

Characteristics of High Self-esteem 

  • Self-confidence and belief in one’s talents. 
  • The ability to take constructive criticism without defensiveness. 
  • Willingness to tackle new challenges and learn from mistakes. 
  • A positive yet realistic self-perception
  • Adversity requires resilience. 
  • The ability to build positive and meaningful relationships.
  • A balanced approach to providing and accepting help. 

Positive effect of High Self-esteem  

  • Emotional resilience: High self-esteem makes it easier for people to deal with difficulties, bounce back from failures faster, and fully appreciate good times. Their self-assurance enables them to see challenges as transient and controllable rather than debilitating. 
  • Better relationships: Individuals with high self-esteem can build meaningful and healthy connections with others because they are confident in their own worth and talents. They are more likely to communicate effectively, set limits, and keep trust in relationships. High self esteem promotes empathy and minimizes insecurity, resulting in more peaceful interactions. 
  • Motivation and persistence: people with high self-esteem are more likely to continue working toward their goals, especially when faced with challenges. They see failures as opportunities to learn and improve, which fuels their drive and resilience. This thinking allows them to take calculated risks and aim for lofty goals. 
  • Effective coping: High self-esteem enables people to cope with stress, tackle obstacles with confidence, and progress by focusing on their abilities. They are more likely to use good coping mechanisms, such as problem-solving and seeking help, rather than avoidance or negative  conduct. 
  • Positive self-image: High self-esteem helps to maintain a healthy and happy self-image. Accepting and appreciating oneself, including flaws and shortcomings, encourages self compassion and self-care. Individuals with a positive self-image are more likely to prioritize their physical health and well-being. 
  • Improved decision-making: High self-esteem improves a person’s capacity to make confident decisions. It alleviates self-doubt and encourages people to trust their intuition and judgment. This leads to improved problem-solving abilities and higher satisfaction with the outcomes of  their decisions. 

Low Self-esteem  

With low self-esteem, people suffer from feelings of worthlessness, inferiority, and emotional-instable. People with low self-esteem are generally unsatisfied with their lives. They may adopt a negative attitude towards themselves, others, and their situation. This lack of confidence impairs their ability to confront issues effectively. 

Hannah Baker, the most well-known character in the 13 Reasons Why series, is an illustration of the adverse consequences of low self-esteem and shows the negative effect of low self esteem. She has low self-esteem; thus, she will not be able to cope with the difficulties she is in, which leads to her suicide. She has self-doubts, and feelings of inadequacy that have a bad impact on her. 

Characteristics of Low Self-esteem  

  • Constant self-criticism and thoughts of worthlessness. 
  • Difficult to accept compliments or favorable feedback. 
  • Fear of failure causes people to avoid taking on new undertakings. 
  • The tendency to compare oneself adversely to others. 
  • Overreliance on others for affirmation and decision-making. 
  • Struggles to build or maintain healthy relationships. 
  • Chronic emotions of depression, anxiety, or a lack of motivation 

Negative Effect of Low Self-Esteem  

  • Addiction – low self-esteem is linked to addictive habits, like spending too much time on social media or being addicted to the internet. To compensate for feelings of inadequacy, people may seek external approval. People become addicted to alcohol to escape their feelings of  inadequacy.  
  • Negative relationships– emotional abuse can greatly harm self-esteem, leading to patterns of  relying on others or isolating oneself. People with low self-esteem may find it hard to set boundaries or express themselves well, which can result in difficult or unhealthy relationships. 
  • Aggression– sometimes low self-esteem can show up as anger or being mean to, other people. Feelings of inadequacy can cause anger, which can be misdirected as aggressiveness. 
  • Difficult coping– Low self-esteem people often feel stressed by challenges and are less likely to find good ways to deal with them. This can cause avoidance behavior, procrastination, and depend on bad habits.  
  • Disturbed Physical health– physical health can also be impacted by low self-esteem because  people may overlook their own needs or take risks. Conditions like chronic stress and negative self-perceptions can lead to weariness, headache, and a compromised immune system. Over  time, these impacts combine, further lowering overall well-being.  

Highly, Inflated Self-esteem  

While healthy self-esteem encourages resilience and personal growth too high or inflated self esteem can be harmful. Exaggerated self-perception frequently causes inflated self-esteem,  which can lead to arrogance or narcissistic tendencies. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is the  best example of inflated self-esteem. He overestimates his ability, wants constant admiration,  and dismisses other views. His arrogance causes him to poor decisions he made, eventually leading to his demise. Other examples are Thanos from Avengers and Miranda priestly from  Devil’s wear Parada. 

Characteristics of Over Inflated Self-Esteem: 

  • Overestimating one’s own strengths while undervaluing others’ efforts. 
  • Difficulty absorbing criticism or admitting faults. 
  • A feeling of entitlement or superiority toward others. 
  • There is a tendency to dominate conversations or ignore competing points of view. Overconfidence may lead to unnecessary risk-taking
  • Seeking continual compliments or validation from others. 

Dark Side of High Self-esteem  

This can cause effects such as – 

  • Impaired relationships: people with inflated self-esteem may fail to empathize with others, resulting in compromised personal and professional relationships. Their dismissive attitude may alienate other people around them.  
  • Resistance to growth: Refusal to accept criticism or admit faults impaired personal and professional progress. Excessive self-esteem might impaired self-awareness and adaptability. These people may stagnate because they are unable to reflect on or learn from their mistakes. 
  • Risky behavior: People who are over-confident may make rash decisions and take needless risks because they believe they are invincible or immune to defeat.  
  • Hostility and defensiveness: Individuals with high self-esteem may become defensive or  hostile when their perceived superiority is challenged. People who have high self-esteem may respond angrily or become too protective. This behavior harmed their relationships and  reputation. 
  • Vulnerability to Crises: When faced with failure or rejection, people with high self-esteem  may endure severe emotional pain due to their need for external validation. When they fail, the gap between their inflated self-image and reality can cause acute emotions of inadequacy. 
  • Impaired Decision-Making: People with high self-esteem can ignore advice or expert judgments, feeling they know better. This can lead to poor decisions, financial losses, and reputational damage. 

How does Self-esteem effect Mental Health?

Low self-esteem can dramatically raise the chances of mental health issues, especially during stressful situations. People who have low self-esteem tend to engage in negative thought  patterns and behaviors that might worsen their mental well-being, for example- rumination is a common issue, in which people constantly overthink negative experiences, which can lead to  feelings of grief and despair. They may also have a negative attribution style.

This means that they believe bad things happen due to their own personal flaws, which deepens feelings of worthlessness. Excessive reassurance-seeking happens when a person repeatedly asks others for approval and support because they feel insecure. This can cause them to rely too much on  others and feel anxious. Finally, people with low self-esteem might look for negative feedback, wanting criticism to support their bad self-image, which can hurt their mental health even more. 

In some mental health problems, self-esteem is important and can be complicated for example, with bipolar disorder, self-esteem can change greatly, ranging from extremely high during manic episodes (in which people may feel overconfident or invincible) to extremely low during  depression phases (when people feel worthless and hopeless). This extreme fluctuation is unstable and worsens the person’s condition. Eating disorder is another example, in which self esteem is directly related to body image and attractiveness.

People with eating problems like anorexia or bulimia often base their self-esteem on how they look and their weight. Relying on  outside things for self-worth makes people with eating disorders more likely to feel depressed  and face other mental issues. Having unstable or fragile self-esteem, where a person relies too much on other’s approval or  on things like success and looks can increase the chances of becoming depressed even if some  seem to have high self-esteem if it’s weak, it can be easily affected by the outside situation, which can cause an emotional problem and impact on their mental health.  

High self-esteem can help protect against stress and mental health problems, while low or unstable self-esteem can make people more likely to experience issues like depression and anxiety. Strengthening self-esteem keeping it strong and coming from within are important for handling and improving mental health in these situations. 

How to build positive self-esteem? 

  • Practice self-acceptance: Accept yourself as you are. Nobody is flawless, and that’s alright. Recognize your strengths and faults, but remember that your flaws do not define your worth. For example, consider what makes you happy and what you value in life. You might find it  useful to write this in a journal. 
  • Set achievable goals: Set attainable goals for yourself and recognize tiny triumphs along the  way. Completing even simple things can increase your confidence and motivation. Do  something pleasant for yourself. For example, cooking your favorite dish or playing a game you adore. 
  • Focus on positivity: Pay attention to your life’s positive parts. Surround yourself with positive influences and shun negativity whenever possible. Say nice things about yourself. Some prefer to do this in front of a mirror. It may seem strange at first, but as you practice, you will get more comfortable. 
  • Challenge negative thoughts– Be conscious of your internal discourse. If you notice negative  self-talk, confront it with positive affirmations. For example, replace “I’m not good enough” with “I’m capable and getting better every day.” Try to fight negative views about yourself. You  might automatically criticize yourself. If you notice yourself doing this, ask yourself, “Would  I talk to a friend in this way?”. 
  • Set boundaries – Being assertive can be hard if you are not used to it. However, agreeing to  too many requests to satisfy others can be exhausting. Before agreeing to do anything you don’t  want to do, it may be helpful to pause, take a breath, and consider how you feel. Set boundaries:  Learn to say no while still protecting your time and energy. Surround yourself with people who  respect and encourage you. 
  • Seek support – Do not be afraid to ask for help. If you are having trouble with your self-esteem,  talk to your friends, family, or a counselor. An outsider’s perspective can sometimes help you  see things better. Having someone listen to you and show concern might be beneficial.  
Conclusion  

To summarize, self-esteem influences many parts of our lives, from our personality to the  decisions we make. Positive self-esteem promotes healthy relationships, resilience, and a  confident approach to problems, all of which benefit general well-being and mental health.  Negative self-esteem, on the other hand, frequently results in self-doubt, worry, and poor  decision-making, all of which can be harmful to our personal and professional lives. While  inflated self-esteem can promote confidence, it can also lead to arrogance, bad judgment, and  trouble absorbing feedback, harming relationships and personal progress. Finally, how we  perceive ourselves has a significant impact on our daily relationships, mental health, and  outlook. Maintaining a healthy and fulfilling life requires maintaining a balanced self-esteem. 

References +
  • Abdel-Khalek, Ahmed. (2016). Introduction to the Psychology of Self-esteem. ∙ Hepper, Erica. (2016). Self-Esteem. Encyclopedia of Mental Health. 10.1016/B978-0- 12-397045-9.00076-8. 
  • Khatibi M, Fouladchang M. Self-esteem; A brief review. Journal of Educational and  Management Studies. 2015;5(4):240-3. 
  • Healthdirect Australia. (n.d.). Self-esteem and mental health. Retrieved January 24,  2025 
  • Mayo Clinic. (2022). Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself

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