Society of humans functions on certain norms and rules. The objective of this process is to protect and maintain harmony in society and not violate the rights and peace of another person. Marriage is one of such norms. Marriages require responsibility and commitment that’s why people are going to live in a relationship. In in relationship, they will live like a couple, but they can walk out from their responsibilities at any point in time.
Marriage as an institution:
Marriage is a social institution with moral obligations. In different societies, these moral obligations can vary. But the main objective of this institution is to fulfill a person’s Emotions, psychological and physical needs. This institution was created to permit people to procreate and care for children and their education, socialization, and regulations of the lines of descent.
In simple words, Marriage is a committed relationship between two individuals who are ready to share their life, needs (physical, emotional, psychological) social, and economic status for a lifetime. Also, give importance to each other’s family members and their needs.
Marriage is present Scenario:
In the present scenario, marriage is observed as a pleasure-seeking commitment with certain responsibilities among two individuals. High expectations of individuals are distorting the essence of this institution. Rituals are overpowering the objective. For example Dowry, and Treatment the guest well is working as a deal maker or breaker. For the sake of money and reputation people are cheating each other. Families are much more concerned about status than individuals.
In short, though in society marriages are working till now, but the essence of marriage is getting ruined day by day. Instead of focusing on person, behavior, and attitude people are focusing on beauty, wealth, and status.
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Expectations V/S Reality- A common assumption is after marriage life will be set. The person will get a partner who will stand by your side in all the adversities of life. All the pleasure-seeking desires will be fulfilled. But in reality, marriage is much more than this. It’s about going out of your comfort zone (leaving home or getting a new roommate), sharing close bonds and responsibilities with completely new people, an increase of expectations, and much more.
What is a happy marriage?
A happy marriage is subjective. But most people will agree that it’s about treating each other with respect, being loyal, and taking responsibility for each other and their families and children with love.
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Signs of a happy marriage:
- Both partners are ready to help each other regardless of their circumstances. Devotion for each other is high.
- Both are happy to see each other getting successful in their major life domain (Family, workplace, and social settings)
- They give importance to each other’s needs, even when they don’t find it very interesting.
- They care about each other’s personal space and are loyal to each other.
- Love is essential for a happy marriage as it provides strength to each individual.
- They are compatible with each other. Compatibility is about balancing each other in perception and attitude. Or one can do what other person can’t and that’s why they become a great team.
- Being patient with each other in the time of adversity.
- Fights and arguments do not last for long. They argue, but deep inside they know they are doing this to understand each other’s point. In the end, they either negotiate or respect each other’s opinion.
These are some signs of a happy marriage.
A happy marriage is not a destination, it is a process. Each day in each new situation person will see a different side of their partner. It’s about discovering each other, but at the same time maintaining harmony among them
What are the red flags of any relationship:
- When your partner treats you as an option. It’s become too difficult to stay with them. In the end, we all want care, attention, and importance.
- When they are excessively lying or being jealous.
- Any one partner or both are fantasies about leaving.
- When a partner is not concerned about each other’s emotional, physical, or psychological needs to the extent that disturbs a person’s personality and life.
- Lack of physical and emotional intimacy.
- When one partner blames another one for all the mistakes and mis-happings in their relationship.
- When one partner is abusive and indifferent to another partner’s pain.
- When one partner has a constant feeling that, they deserve a better partner.
In all marriages, one can experience any one or two above-mentioned situations in their life for the time being but if these situations last for a long time one must take it seriously.
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Foundation of Happy Marriages:
Happy Marriages are based on certain rules or principles. Some of such principles are below mentioned:
- Respecting and understanding individuality: Rejecting patterns of irritation expectations and being ready to be rejected.
- Unconditional support: Give each other unconditional support in the time of adversity.
- Empathetic Relationship: empathizing with each other’s struggles and challenges they are facing in their life.
- Respecting each other: Respecting each other even when fighting, means not saying anything too personal to them. Also not take hurtful comments personally.
- Understanding Each Other: understanding each other needs and having the intention to fulfill them.
- Treating with dignity: In social settings or in family treating your partner in a way that shows the value of their role and character.
- Value for money and time: Using each other’s money wisely. As nowadays most marriages are in trouble only because one partner or both partners are giving too much importance to money. Also, value for each other’s time re required to maintain a meaningful relationship.
Marriage is about growing and learning together. Yes, people may have bad days, but the memories of those bad days vanish with time and love takes charge over pain. A happy marriage is a balance of self-love and partner love. Being too close to each other can also create disturbance in relationships. So it is important that from time to time they take a break from each other. After the break, they can feel a sense of joy once again.