Choosing the Right Therapist: Red Flags You Should Never Ignore 

“I want to try therapy.” A statement that is so bold and requires umpteen amounts of courage to be said, especially in today’s society, therapy remains stigmatised to a great extent. But when one has taken the courage to opt for mental health care despite all the judgment they may face, the expectation that the mental health care professional is qualified and appropriate is well understood. Every individual who chooses to go to therapy deserves to be actively heard without condemnation and with empathy, yet for a great number, their experience is nothing short of undesirable. 

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been a significant rise in mental health illnesses among the population (World Health Organisation: WHO, 2022), which calls for greater mental health services to be provided. However, the increasing demand for mental health services is only being met by a handful of professionals. The gap between the demand and supply for mental health care is being filled by unqualified and untrained individuals posing as professionals. This has led to numerous traumatic therapeutic experiences and discouraged others from seeking mental health care as well. 

This problem, which plagues the mental health care landscape today, needs to be systematically addressed by regulating and governing bodies. However, while the tedious process is taking place, individuals seeking therapy can also take steps to ensure they choose the right professional for themselves. This article aims to explore the ways an individual can spot and deal with an unqualified mental health professional.

Read More: The Need for Mental Health Professionals on a Global Scale

13 Red Flags of an Unqualified Therapist

Upon beginning therapy, it’s important for an individual to regularly check in with themselves and evaluate the session they attend. This introspection will allow them to uncover their true feelings regarding the entire experience. Below are some common red flags that an individual should keep a lookout for while evaluating their sessions: 

1. Unreliability

Mental healthcare professionals can have numerous commitments and busy schedules, just like their clients. However, when taking on a new client, they also must prioritise the needs and requirements of the client in their schedules. If the therapist frequently cancels, reschedules, is late, or even forgets scheduling appointments. It can be considered a red flag. It may leave the client feeling unimportant and discouraged from seeking therapy as a result. While it is considerate of a client to give the therapist the benefit of the doubt regarding their unreliable nature, when these practices are regular and lead to negative emotions, it is time for a change.

Read More: How to Choose a Therapist?

2. Lack of Ethicality

Therapist are required to follow a specific code of conduct, which forbids them from engaging with their clients in sexual, intimate or more ways. The code of conduct outlines specific ethical principles that any mental healthcare professional must observe, ranging from beneficence and non-maleficence to respect for people’s rights and dignity. It proves to be beneficial for an individual seeking therapy to be well-versed in these ethical principles to notice when their sessions lack ethicality.

Read More: Understanding the Rights of Persons with Mental Illness: A Guide to Dignity and Equality

3. Lack of Confidentiality

What a client shares with a therapist during a session is completely confidential and must remain between the two individuals. Confidentiality marks a vital pillar of therapy, and when that is violated, it denotes a glaring red flag. There may be situations where a therapist is compelled to breach confidentiality, especially in cases of physical threats. However, other breaches of confidentiality are unethical and call for immediate addressal. 

4. Judgmental Nature

A therapeutic relationship is essentially a safe space characterised by a lack of judgement. It is important for a client to feel comfortable in sharing all parts of themselves with a therapist without judgment. While all individuals, including therapists, are entitled to have their own beliefs and values, they mustn’t judge clients. Especially when clients choose to indulge in a lifestyle that does not align with the therapist’s beliefs. If a client feels that their life choices are being judged by the therapist and criticised, it denotes a time for honest conversation or even change.

5. Stereotypical Beliefs

It often happens that the client and therapist come from different cultural backgrounds.  However, it is expected of the therapist to be accepting towards the client’s background without holding stereotypical or discriminatory beliefs. While in most cases, it may not be apparent therapist may harbour negative views towards certain groups, which may manifest through remarks or microaggressions. Upon noticing such behaviour, the client is encouraged to seek clarity and engage in conversation before opting for change.

Read More: How Core Beliefs Shape Our Perspective and Behaviour

6. Wavelength does not match

A therapist doesn’t have to be able to relate to their client; however, they must understand and acknowledge their experiences. In some cases, therapist are simply not able to match the wavelength of their client or understand their issue. This may occur as a result of the therapist’s prior experience and even the scope of their knowledge. In such cases, the client is urged to seek another therapist who truly understands them.

7. Passivity

Therapy is essentially a place where an individual can go and talk about themselves and the issues they face. It is also necessary for the therapist to be actively involved in the process. If a therapist is passive and only depends upon the client to guide the conversation, it may denote a red flag. It can also be argued that a therapist must listen to the client, but it is also important for the therapist to share their thoughts and observations to prompt the client towards a path of growth and recovery. 

Read More: Therapist’s Genuineness

8. The focus of attention is not on you

The focus of attention during a therapy session must be the client. In some cases, the therapist may spend too much of their time talking about their own experiences rather than focusing on the client. They may even be distracted by their phones or other people, especially in a virtual setting. When the focus of attention of a therapy session is no longer the client, it denotes a glaring red flag. 

9. General Lack of Boundaries

The relationship between a therapist and client, although personal, is considered to be professional due to the presence of boundaries. A professional therapist will take the appropriate steps to establish certain boundaries during the initial therapeutic sessions. While the therapeutic relationship is enhanced, a friendly alliance can form between the therapist and the client. Even in such cases, these boundaries need to be maintained. When boundaries are blatantly overlooked or not established at all, it can be a red flag.  

Read More: The Unseen Burden of Being the “Therapist Friend” 

10. Establishing a relationship outside of therapy

A therapist and client are only meant to have a professional relationship. If a therapist aims to establish an additional relationship outside of therapy, it is commonly known as a dual relationship (APA Dictionary of Psychology, n.d.). These dual relationships are unethical and often put the therapist in an unfair position of power and control, especially since they have such great access to the happenings of the client’s life. Activities such as starting a business, hiring the client for their services, teaching the client or even developing a friendship outside of therapy are red flags.

11. Questionable Techniques

Therapy is based upon evidence-based approaches and research-based strategies to tackle a variety of issues. However, certain therapists may believe that conventional therapy is flawed and may rely upon alternate or pseudoscientific methodology.  They may even discourage the client from appropriate medical treatment and medication.  While alternative approaches can complement therapeutic approaches, they cannot reject science-based care as effective treatment. If a client feels pressured to opt for alternative therapy without the support of evidence-based strategies, it denotes a red flag. 

Read More: Is it Okay to See Multiple Therapists Simultaneously?

12. Advice

It is a common misconception that therapy is a place where an individual gets advice. The therapeutic approach is aimed towards guiding a client through the process of understanding their pain problems and eventually themselves, and encouraging them to find solutions on their own. While a therapist can help an individual down the road of growth, it would be wrong for them to tell a client exactly what to do in various situations. This advice may align greatly with the therapist’s beliefs and views rather than the client’s lifestyle.

13. Rushing a Diagnosis

Not every client comes with a problem that requires a clinical label. Sometimes therapists may rush to diagnose clients, which can lead to false diagnoses or even overdiagnosis. A wrong diagnosis can lead to a wide variety of mental trauma for the client diagnosed. Unless a client asks for an immediate diagnosis. It shouldn’t be the first part of the therapeutic experience.

Read More: What Makes a Good Therapist: Beyond Qualifications

How to deal with a Bad Therapy Experience

 After taking courageous efforts to seek therapy, witnessing a bad therapeutic relationship can be quite unsettling and discouraging.  However, in such cases, the client needs to realise their power and protect themselves. They can take appropriate measures to handle the situation responsibly.  Upon introspection, they must trust their instincts and feelings regarding the undesirable nature of the therapeutic relationship. They can then engage in conversation to gain clarity from the therapist regarding their behaviour.

Depending upon the nature of the conversation, the client can then decide if they wish to continue or to walk away from the therapist. While their failed endeavour at therapy may discourage them from seeking therapy again, the client can consider a new therapist after taking a break. They must prioritise their recovery and understand their needs while choosing another therapist. 

According to Counselling psychologist Dr.Archana Nanduri, in my 13 years of practice as a counselling psychologist in Hyderabad, I’ve seen how the right therapeutic bond can help clients grow and how the wrong one can sometimes feel discouraging.

When you are choosing a therapist, it is important to pay attention to how you feel in the sessions. The right therapist should make you feel safe, understood and respected. If that is missing, it may be a red flag.

Some signs to be aware of are:

1. Feeling judged or dismissed. Therapy should help you feel safe to share openly, not hesitant or small.
2. A rigid style. While structure is useful, therapy should also be flexible enough to meet your unique needs.
3. Too much advice-giving. The goal is to support reflection and growth, not to hand out instructions.
4. Weak or blurred boundaries. When the therapist talks too much about themselves or crosses lines, it can shift the focus away from you.
5. Concerns about confidentiality. Your personal details must be treated with the highest respect.

When these red flags are present, therapy may not feel helpful. Therapy is meant to empower you, not leave you uncertain or smaller. It is also normal that not every therapist will be the right fit for every client. What matters most is finding someone who offers respect, flexibility and genuine care, so that the process can truly help you grow and heal. A responsible therapist will indeed recognise when the fit isn’t right and guide you toward the support you truly need.

Read More: You Don’t Have to Be Broken to Seek Therapy

Conclusion

When an individual chooses to opt for therapy, they come from a place of vulnerability and are willing to put great amounts of trust into the hands of the therapist.  The expectation that they are therapy sessions are handled by qualified professionals is extremely valid. While no therapist is perfect, they must be able to meet the requirements of their clients and encourage them towards a path of growth.

A client can take the necessary steps to choose the right therapist for themselves by constantly introspecting and evaluating therapeutic sessions, while keeping common red flags in mind. Such knowledge will allow them to take the necessary steps towards healing and be empowered to deal with their mental healthcare.

Read More: Termination as a Therapeutic Tool: Fostering Growth and Autonomy 

FAQs

1. Are all mental health practitioners the same?

No, all mental health practitioners are not the same. Depending upon the various degrees and levels of education that a mental health practitioner has obtained, they would classify them into different types. Some common mental health practitioners include psychologists, psychiatrists, and counsellors. They all have different experiences and responsibilities towards adequate mental healthcare.

2. Can I report the unethical practices of therapists?

Yes, an individual can report the unethical practices of a therapist to professional associations or even national and state licensing boards. This would hold the therapist accountable for their actions and prevent future clients from undesirable experiences. 

3. Will my therapist feel bad if I want to change therapists?

In therapy, the entire focus must lie upon the client’s feelings and requirements rather than those of the therapist. When a client expresses the desire to change therapists if they are met with hostile and defensive behaviour, it should encourage the client to end their therapeutic relationship immediately. Such behaviour on the therapist’s part is unethical as it prioritises the therapist rather than the client. The client must keep in mind that they are feelings come first.

4. How can I choose the right therapist in the first place?

To avoid a bad therapeutic experience, a client can make efforts to choose the right therapist from the get-go. This would involve researching the therapist’s qualifications and credentials. They can even read reviews of the therapist’s previous clients and ask for referrals. Having an open conversation with the therapist in the initial session regarding one’s apprehensions may also help a client choose the right therapist.