Verbal Abuse: Why it isn’t a big deal in India?

Verbal Abuse: Why it isn’t a big deal in India?

“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.” – Astrid Alauda

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words they’ll destroy me.”  –   Cassandra Giovanni

Obviously, many of us may come across these kinds of quotes and even found relatable to us at some point in life.

While addressing the word ‘Abuse’, much of us would think of either Sexual abuse or Physical abuse. It’s absolutely normal in India to see the news of sexual assaults and physical harassment in the newspaper often. It doesn’t mean that Indians are not aware of or care about anything.  Of course, they do. Many people across the nation protest for the justice of these victims. But wait, why those justice and protests are limited to physical and sexual abuses, why not VERBAL ABUSE?

Is Verbal abuse doesn’t happen in India or it doesn’t consider a serious issue? The answer is, we are accustomed to it. Verbal abuse is still happening at every nook and corner of the country but rarely discussed. It happens in the primary parental circle, long term toxic relationships, even in social groups, jobs, and many more. Anyone can be a victim of verbal abuse at any point in their life in any situation. The main complication that underlies these kinds of abuses was – In most scenarios, the abusers as well as the victims were not aware that abuse was happening.

An individual became the first victim of verbal abuse by their own family members (especially by the parental authorities). Indian parents took verbal abuse alongside emotional and physical abuse (Beating, Slapping) as a part of parenting to cultivate discipline among the children. Yet, In India, generally, it is completely normal to yell at your children or using harsh words/comments to criticize them. Some parents portray that this would be the best way of raising kids. They also added that the sufferings their children undergo by their word would pave a path and often lead them to the have good future because these criticisms were made to make them more hard-working & discipline and more inclined towards the moral norms.

Effects of Verbal abuse:

They unconsciously making them traumatized which can be hard to cure and often distress them even in their adulthood. It’s hard to make parents understand that verbal abusing is not a ‘usual’ or a ‘normal’ part of raising children. We may notice that cases filed against verbal abuses are usually in the long term relationships or marriage. An individual can be verbally abused by a boss or manager in organizational settings. One can be abused by a teacher in school settings. Still, anyone had a chance to be a victim of verbal abuse in society.

Verbal abuse is very destructive for one’s mental health. Many research findings have concluded that verbal abuse often leads to low self-esteem, suicidal ideation, depression, poor relationship development, psychological destabilization, traumatic symptoms, negative self-perceptions. Brought up by a verbally abusive parent may be hard for a child to develop emotional intelligence, lead to intrusive memories. Studies have shown that more psychological issues arise in adulthood when that individual had been verbally abused as a child.

Well, you may get little knowledge or insight about verbal abuse and its toxic nature and consequences. But wait, I know you have a question. Let me guess, it would be, How to identify verbal abuse? Here you go, the few signs of verbal abuse,

• When you criticize another person in person or public, if it is not in a constructive nature and being mean, then obviously it’s abuse.
• Humiliating in public, i.e. Insulting in social or public places by family, friends, peers, or relatives.
• This one seems to be more common by parents and partners, refusing to talk to them and isolating them (even though living in the same house).
• Abuser blames the victim without the right cause. And gaslighting the victim (making them apologize for the things that didn’t fault)
• A name-calling is a form of verbal abuse, even though in a neutral tone.
• Yelling, Screaming, or cursing to make them feel low.
• Making Jokes or using sarcastic or mocking words on others in their areas of vulnerability or weakness.
• Degrade and remove one’s confidence

These are the few signs of verbal abuse. Hope everyone is aware of those signs and please stop those if anyone has had ever done it. Or at least help the people who were in such an abusive environment.

Verbal abuse and other maltreatment will always thrive in the darkness unless everyone understands and aware of its destructive side effects. Let’s make an abusive free world.