The Psychology behind Possessiveness

Being possessive about your things or relationships to some extent is good, but when it turns into jealousy or insecurity, then it can become the reason for ruining some healthy relationships in your life. The feeling of possessiveness is natural in human behavior and can be described as the desire to possess or control something or someone. This behavior is quite evident in our day-to-day life like in relationships; it could be the family ones or romantic ones. Jealousy, insecurity, clinginess, or controlling behaviors are some of the traits that have been shown when some are possessive. Many factors are behind this possessiveness like fear, or the need to control. Individuals are frequently anxious about losing the object of their affection or control and can show possessiveness towards it.

While it is common to have possessiveness in relationships, occasionally the person can manage their associate, which may be poisonous to their relationship. Apart from the poor outcomes of possessiveness, it can additionally have fantastic results on relationships. Showing possessiveness may be a way of displaying love and attachment in the direction of another individual. Moreover, this trait can expand emotions of lack of confidence, and low self-esteem in a person, which harms the relationship and even breakups.

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Attachment Theory and Possessiveness

In our life, attachment patterns have a vast function. Our number one caregivers in the course of youth are chargeable for forming our attachment patterns. All this will become obvious in our adulthood. Anxious attachment is a sort of insecure attachment style. The characteristics of this style include a robust desire for independence and a sensitivity to being too near others. People who have a stressful attachment search for validation from their companions. Moreover, after they do not get the eye they need, then the feelings of jealousy and possessiveness come into the photograph. These behaviors can damage the whole relationship and may cause conflicts among the partners.

Furthermore, the avoidant attachment is also some other steady attachment that individuals have. The hallmark of this fashion is a strong preference for autonomy and a worry of being too intimate with others. People with this attachment might also find it hard to hold intimacy with their partner and get insecure or jealous while their associate talks to others. Hence, they will control their partner to engage with.

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The root purpose of each of these attachments lies in our early childhood with the primary caregivers. The care and interest received from primary caregivers determines the formation of these attachment styles. Insecure attachment styles may additionally result from inconsistencies, reliability, or neglectful caregiving, as the kid may not have felt always loved and cared for. As a result, they feel the concern of abandonment and are unable to consider others.

Low Self-Esteem And Possessiveness

Our society has created a notion for all of us about having a romantic relationship, as having a relationship makes your life filled with success and love. A partner provides the feeling of validation and self-esteem. However, this is not always the reality. To maintain long-lasting relationships, individuals should not only be dependent on seeking external validation. Having a supportive partner assists you in building your self-worth and self-confidence.

When you are dedicated to a person, then people try to offer a sense of preference and love to their partners. Having a partner can help to boost self-esteem, which may assist in removing personal insecurities and negative thoughts. The root motive of self-esteem is not addressed by way of this fleeting outside validation. However, it’s crucial to realize that actual and lasting self-esteem is something that we can’t be searching for externally and it comes from inside.

That’s when therapy comes into the picture. Therapy can assist individuals build a strong sense of self-esteem, which enables them to enhance a strong feeling of self. Moreover, it ensures people recognize their thoughts and emotions in a nonjudgmental location. Therapy also makes people learn about their negative thoughts and ideals.

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Signs Of Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Possessiveness

1) Healthy Possessiveness:

Many of us think that showing possessiveness in relationships is dangerous or toxic however that is no longer the case usually. However, showing possessiveness sometimes can be a sign of affection and attachment closer to their partner. This kind of possessiveness is called healthy possessiveness. Healthy possessiveness in dating involves occasional feelings of jealousy and a desire to spend great time with a partner. Showing jealousy on occasion could be a sign that the person cares for their partners and cares about their relationships. It is crucial to know that healthful possessiveness does not include dominating or controlling their respective partners.

Moreover, spending nice time with people you love allows you to maintain a good mental well-being. Couples may be effortlessly distracted with the aid of their busy schedules and overlook spending quality time with each other. Expressing a desire to strengthen the connection consists of feeling possessive and looking to spend time together. Quality time allows us to construct an emotional bond on a deeper stage and it additionally creates sweet memories with each other.

2) Unhealthy Possessiveness

On the opposite hand, unhealthy possessiveness is harmful and toxic to the relationships we share in our lives. This possessiveness can be harmful to relationships. Possessive people have a fear of losing their companion, and they will go to extreme lengths to make sure that everything is in their control. Unhealthy possessiveness can isolate the character from their companion or family. People can restrict their interaction with their loved ones. All this could cause feelings of loneliness and isolation.

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Jealousy is another conduct someone with bad possessiveness shows. Constantly questioning, making fake accusations, and stalking their partners are numerous common behaviors shown using human beings. Moreover, controlling their companion to engage with others, and making all decisions for their partner are some of the behaviors people with unhealthy possessiveness show.