Are Women More Emotional than Men?

Human beings learn from experience and our experiences usually come from our immediate social and cultural environment. All of us while growing up go through the process of socialization, wherein we learn how to live in society in acceptable ways. There are rules and customs set by our culture and tradition that we are all supposed to abide by.

There are several reasons as to why certainly someone would abide by the rules that they might not believe in or feel important. One reason could be that there is a fear lingering in our minds that if we don’t follow these rules, we might be discarded by society. This stems from our need for approval, validation, love and acceptance. There is also a fear of loneliness and rejection or neglect if certain rules are not followed.

Societal Rules and Gender Differences

Just as there are rules for men, certain rules exist for women as well. During the process of socialization, we are all taught different methods as to how a man and a woman or a girl and a boy are supposed to behave in society. In India, during childhood, a boy is socialized into the role of the ‘man’ of the family who is going to support his parents in their old age. Without considering what the boy wants, he is accustomed to thinking that he must take on the responsibility for the mental, emotional and financial well-being of his parents.

The parents create a sort of co-dependency with the little boy and consider him as an escape from all their problems. As and when the boy grows up and starts developing a mindset of his own, the parents pressure and guilt him into taking up the role for which he was born. In this whole process, the boy forgets to cater to his own emotional needs and prioritizes the needs of the family. Comes into the picture the concept of patriarchy. The little boy grows up to be self-reliant, independent, emotionally stunted and inexpressive, outwardly strong and controlling. These little boys do not cry or they will be labelled as sissies. They are supposed to disconnect from themselves completely to prove their manhood.

According to Clinical Psychologist Gargi Chauhan Mehta, The label “sensitive” often applied to women can be both true and misleading. Sensitivity, in a broad sense, refers to an individual’s emotional responsiveness and empathy, which can vary greatly among people regardless of gender. Society’s labelling of women as inherently more sensitive can sometimes perpetuate stereotypes and limit how emotions are expressed or valued. It’s important to recognize that sensitivity and emotional expression are human traits that can differ widely among individuals. Gender does not determine emotional capacity or sensitivity; rather, cultural and social expectations often shape how these traits are perceived and expressed.

Patriarchy

Patriarchy is, of course, damaging to women as well since they are being oppressed and confined into the role of caretaker and nurturer. It is a silent oppression of girls and women alike. However, the men and the boys are victims too. These boys are privileged for being born a male and they are given the independence and autonomy to express anger and frustration in the ways that they want.

They know it is a man’s world and they take full advantage of that. However, this outward expression of anger is the suppression of hurt and shame that they have endured. Men are constantly criticized for being emotional, something that we all are born with. They are privileged and advantaged only up until the point that they shut off their emotions. Emotions are the most basic element of our being. It gives our life an essence and makes us feel alive.

However, in Indian society, there is a partially negative outlook towards emotional expression. Emotional expression is acceptable only up to an extent. There is a rule of “no emotion” for men and for women, the rule is to show no “unfeminine emotions.” Women are considered to be extremely emotional beings to the point of irrationality.

There is a long history that dates back to the 1800s where having a uterus meant that a woman is emotionally unstable and hysteric. Hysterectomies were performed on women who were outwardly emotional as a result of the oppression and dominance of men in society. They were constantly forced into certain traditional and limiting roles with restrictive boundaries set for them. From their physical movement to emotional reactions, every single aspect of their life was controlled because women were considered slaves to the men of the family.

Powerful and Powerless emotions

Traditionally, women were assigned domestic roles whereas a man was supposed to provide for the family. These gendered roles reflect the differences in the power and status assigned to both genders. When we say that men are supposed to be emotionless, we are saying that the only acceptable emotion for them is anger and contempt. This displays power and assertiveness outwardly.

For women, unfeminine emotions such as anger and outward frustration are looked down upon. The only acceptable emotions are internal blame, sadness, fear, vulnerability and guilt. Since women are put into the nurturing role by the patriarchal society, it is their responsibility to maintain harmony in social relations and minimize overt expression of hostility. Whereas, for a man, to survive in this competitive society, only powerful emotions that display autonomy and assertiveness are acceptable.

There is no denying that there are biological differences between men and women, for example, hormonal influences in a woman’s body account for the frequent crying. However, looking at it from a biological perspective doesn’t suffice because even though hormones influence emotions, it is not the only reason for the gender differences in emotional expression. Differences in physical attributes and gender typing restrict the social roles of men and women.

Are Women More Emotional than Men?

Research on the role of gender differences in emotional expression has found that there exists “little evidence for sex differences.” Also when comparing the emotional expression between groups of women, they found that it is not just hormones that influence emotions. Thus, there is limited emotional variability among men and women due to hormonal reasons.

Research has found that there exist similar levels of emotional bandwidth between both sexes. The evidence for this can be found in the statistical data on deaths and suicides in India. The mental health of men is a matter of great concern in the Indian household. The suicide rate for men is 2.5 times higher than that of women. The ratio of suicide victims was 72.5:27.4 for males: and females. The records show that 1.18 lakh men died by suicide against 45,026 women.

Read More: Suicide Awareness: Unveiling the Truth

There is no conclusion to this debate as to whether women are more emotional than men. We are human beings born with similar levels of emotional intensity and variability. The societal constructs that have put restrictions on our emotional expression have primed us into labelling emotions as good or bad, acceptable or unacceptable.

There have been movements of empowerment for women where these gender-specific norms were challenged by females across the world. Some societal barriers were broken down and women were successful in reclaiming their position in society. However, for men, there exists a lot of stigma surrounding their mental health which is reinforced by men themselves.

According to Clinical Psychologist Pooja Gupta, Men and women differ in their emotional regulation strategies due to biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors. Women are more likely to engage in ruminative coping and cognitive reappraisal, focusing on emotional processing and seeking social support. Men, on the other hand, often use problem-focused coping and suppression, aiming to solve problems directly while managing emotions privately. These differences are influenced by hormonal variations and societal expectations, with women typically being more emotionally expressive and men more reserved. Understanding these distinctions is crucial for creating effective, gender-sensitive mental health interventions.

Men must understand the value of positive masculinity and break the stereotypes surrounding emotional expression and vulnerability. If you want to help the men in your life, it can be best achieved by first creating a safe space for them. They must be taught emotional availability and literacy so they can outwardly express their hurt and sadness. Men are put under a lot of pressure to conform to the notions of masculinity, so it is important to be mindful of that before teaching them emotional language. These men can heal by reconnecting with the emotional and vulnerable parts of themselves. Their healing journey begins by showing care and love to their inner child which is wounded by patriarchal notions.