Infidelity, commonly known as cheating, is one of the most painful experiences in any relationship. It involves breaking one’s trust and indulging in any kind of emotional, physical, or sexual relations outside that agreed upon in the relationship. It may also affect families and even the greater community as well. This article will explore the causes, types of effects, and coping with infidelity along with scholarly literature references.
Read More: The Psychology Behind Romantic Relationships
Infidelity Types
Infidelity is always different in shape and varies from one culture or society and from one individual to another.
- Emotional Infidelity: Such infidelity occurs when one partner has developed a bond with another person outside the relationship, or one spends time with another person outside the means of sharing emotional needs or while prioritising another person above his/her significant other (Glass & Wright, 1985).
- Physical Infidelity: This includes performing sexual acts with other people outside one’s relationship. Because it directly breaks an exclusive boundary, physical betrayal is considered by many to be the worst (Allen & Atkins, 2012).
- Cyber Infidelities: The modern definition of infidelity includes cases of infidelity that are executed over the internet via means including sexting, video calling or anyone having some sexual interaction across social media platforms. With the improvement of technology, cyber infidelities seem to be becoming more common (Hertlein & Blumer, 2014).
- Financial Infidelity: This involves hiding financial activities, such as secret spending or undisclosed debts, from one’s partner. Although not as commonly discussed, financial dishonesty can erode trust in a relationship (Jeong et al., 2021). Some of the causes of infidelity include Personal and Situational Factors, which could be complex.
- Lack of Emotional Fulfillment: Individuals tend to seek alternative emotional outlets whenever they may face shortages in aspects of emotional needs like emotional honesty, empathy, or affection (Glass & Wright, 1985).
- Desire for Novelty: Humans are curious beings. However, Some people, when having stale relationships, tend to get curious and seek the novelty of life and relationships (Finkel et al., 2015).
- Dissatisfaction in Relationships: All types of dissatisfaction are predictors of infidelity such as conflicts with the partner, sexual intimacy, or having different expectations (Allen & Atkins, 2012).
- Personal Traits: Some personality attributes like narcissism or impulsivity, and the history of a cheating act, are positively related to higher probabilities of adultery (Fincham & May, 2017).
- Opportunity and Accessibility: The availability of temptation for cheating is made much more available by such opportunities as frequent travelling and built-in anonymity over the Internet for many (Hertlein & Blumer, 2014).
The Impact of Infidelity
Infidelity has profound emotional, psychological, and social consequences.
- Impact on the Betrayed Partner: The partner is often left feeling betrayed, angry, and low self-esteem. There are anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress (PTSD) symptoms that can result from infidelity (Gordon et al., 2004).
- Impact on the Perpetrator: The cheating one experiences guilt, shame, and fear of losing the relationship. Regret and guilt always will exist with feelings of wanting to make amends (Fincham & May 2017).
- Impact on the Relationship: Unfaithful action usually affects the foundation of trust and intimacy. While some couples generally decide to get separated, others may try to rebuild with sufficient professional intervention (Allen & Atkins, 2012).
- Impact on Families: Infidelity has the power to affect children, inducing feelings such as confusion and resentment and affecting a child’s perception of a broken family. The extended family also gets involved, adding to the burden (Amato, 2000).
Coping strategies
Cope with infidelity that is difficult, not impossible. There was hope for healing and moving on, for individuals and couples.
- Open Communication: In such a situation, effective communication can help people understand why infidelity takes place and how to cope with the accompanied emotional consequences. Both of them should be willing to express feelings plainly and to listen without judgment (Gordon et al., 2004).
- Therapeutic Intervention: Couples counselling or therapy can provide a safe space to explore underlying issues, rebuild trust, and strengthen the relationship. Therapists often use approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples reconnect (Johnson, 2004).
- Self-Care: The deserted spouse should be encouraged to spend time taking care of self in terms of physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Activities such as exercise, journaling, and connecting with reliable friends and family may help this process (Amato, 2000).
- Setting Boundaries: To rebuild trust, usually, the first step is to draw these borders clearly and define future expectations. Both must be committed to openness and accountability in the relationship (Fincham & May 2017).
- Forgiveness: Forgiveness is a very important step in the healing process; however, it does not mean getting or condoning the behaviour. It is letting go of the resentment and being able to close the subject without respect to whether the relationship is continued or not (Worthington, 2001).
Conclusion
The dimension of cheating is very painful and complicated. One of the fundamental things in a relationship that understanding can damage is trust. This makes it fit for an individual or a couple to deal with the realities behind infidelity. There will be heartbreaks associated with infidelity, yet it is a beautiful thing that there is a lot of growth, healing, and transformation that can happen through and after infidelity. All relationships and dynamic ones make it through and will come out with plenty of emotion and strength if they are handled with care and compassion.
References +
- Allen, E. S., & Atkins, D. C. (2012). The Association of Divorce and Relationship Dissolution with Subsequent Depressive Symptoms. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(3), 380–390.
- Amato, P. R. (2000). The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269–1287.
- Fincham, F. D., & May, R. W. (2017). Infidelity in Romantic Relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 70–74.
- Finkel, E. J., Simpson, J. A., & Eastwick, P. W. (2015). The Psychology of Close Relationships: Fourteen Core Principles. Annual Review of Psychology, 66, 647–677.
- Glass, S. P., & Wright, T. L. (1985). Justifications for Extramarital Relationships: The Association Between Attitudes, Behaviors, and Gender. Journal of Sex Research, 21(1), 1– 23.
- Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An Integrative Intervention for Promoting Recovery from Extramarital Affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30(2), 213–231.
- Hertlein, K. M., & Blumer, M. L. C. (2014). The Couple and Family Technology Framework: Intimate Relationships in a Digital Age. Family Relations, 63(3), 374–387.
- Jeong, J., Davis-Kean, P. E., & Eccles, J. S. (2021). Financial Infidelity: Exploring the Role of Economic and Emotional Factors. Journal of Family Issues, 42(5), 1034–1054.
- Johnson, S. M. (2004). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection. Taylor & Francis.
- Worthington, E. L. (2001). Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving. Crown Publishers.
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