Aisha, a 26-year-old working as a marketing executive in the Himalaya company for 2 years. She works from Monday to Saturday continuously and doesn’t take a break. On a Sunday morning, she wakes up with a severe headache, and her body is screaming for rest after a 60-hour work week. She sits down with a cup of tea, but can’t remove the guilt.
Her inner voice whispers, “You should be doing something useful right now.” Even in rest, she feels unworthy and ashamed. Aisha’s experience is far from everyone’s daily routine. In today’s fast world, rest is seen as a luxury or weakness of the particular individual. We equate our values with output and our identity with achievement. But what happens when we start to believe in ourselves as we are worthy and productive?
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The Rise of Productivity
In industrial societies, individuals are called as “human labour” and they are made to serve efficiency and economic gain in the organisation. Over time, this leads to the development of the term “internalised capitalism”. Which is commonly used by Psychologist, it means that our efforts are being tied to productivity which equals virtue (eg: Feeling guilty for not taking a leave and says “ I should be more productive and get things done”) and when people start to value themselves based on how useful they are, how much they achieve, or how busy they appear (Frayne, 2015).
Social media amplifies it as a narrative and explains “Hustle culture”; it glamorises constant work, glorifying sleepless nights and blurred work-life boundaries. Hashtags like #riseandgrind and #nodaysoff project an image where rest is considered as laziness and burnout is a badge of honour. This mindset deeply affects self-perception. A study showed that individuals who strongly identify with their job roles tend to struggle more with rest, experience higher rates of burnout, and suffer greater psychological distress when unemployed or underperforming.
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The Psychology of Rest and Recovery
Rest is not the opposite of laziness. Researcher and psychologist Dr.Pang says that people tend to do more work when at rest than at the workplace. An adequate rest improves not only their physical health but also their creativity, memory, emotional regulation and overall well-being. From a neurological perspective, our brain uses periods of rest to consolidate memories, repair neural pathways, and generate new insights.
The Default Mode Network (DMN), which is activated during passive rest, is crucial for self-reflection and long-term planning (Andrews-Hanna et al., 2014). Yet, despite these benefits, people often report feeling “lazy” when they are at rest. This cognitive dissonance ( refers to the conflict between our thoughts and behaviour- Leon Festinger,1957) stems from cognitive distortions such as “all-or-nothing thinking” (“If I rest, I’m not working hard enough”) and “overgeneralization” (“Resting means I’m unmotivated”).
These distortions are linked to perfectionism and imposter syndrome, where individuals fear that they are not doing enough to prove their worth (Shafran & Mansell, 2001). The benefits of taking a few moments of rest such as :
- Improved well-being
- Reduce levels of anxiety
- Reduces stress
- Maintains the body in a good state
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Dimensions of Rest-Culture and Gender
The guilt associated with rest is not always experienced equally. In many cultures, women are socialised to be caregivers, often bearing emotional and physical labour without recognition. In 2022, the World Health Organisation (WHO) reported globally that women tend to experience more chronic fatigue, burnout, and guilt around self-care, particularly in dual-role households (work + caregiving), than men. For example, A single mother can experience more stress and reduced sleep because of the responsibilities she has, but when she tries to take rest, her inner thoughts conflict with the behaviour, leading to create shame and guilt.
In collectivist cultures(like Asia), rest is often viewed as selfish, especially if it disrupts responsibilities to family or community. Young adults and students in competitive environments also experience this, believing rest threatens their future or is undeserved. (Chinese students tend to get 4-5 hours of sleep as they believe that taking rest is not good, and we should focus on our studies.
Which in later life creates a sense of hopelessness, emptiness and other health issues. Rest has become a “privilege” rather than a right thing to do in society. This mindset, when taken inside it leads to create shame, anxiety, and even depression, especially when individuals feel “unproductive” due to illness, disability, or unemployment.
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Redefining Worth: A Psychological Shift
To reclaim rest, we must first challenge the belief that “I am only worthy when I’m achieving”; Self-worth should not be conditional, and it should be developed from inside. In 2003, Psychologist Kristin Neff advocated for “self-compassion”(meaning treating ourselves with kindness and love), mentioning that treating oneself with the same level of kindness given to a friend can help to recover fast from the tiredness.
Self-compassion allows individuals to take a pause from judgment, accept imperfection, and acknowledge human limits. Studies have shown that high self-compassion is correlated with lower anxiety, better sleep, and increased resilience (Neff & Germer, 2013). Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques can help individuals identify their negative thought patterns and restructure them with positive ones that associate rest with guilt.
For example, replacing “I’m wasting time, I need to complete it” with “I’m allowing time for my mind and body to recover.” Rest doesn’t have to be earned. It can simply be allowed and developed without guilt or shame.
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Practical Ways to Reclaim Rest Without Guilt
To incorporate rest into our daily life, psychologists recommend a few ways, which are:
- Scheduled pauses: Taking short breaks throughout the day can reduce mental fatigue( exhaustion caused by physical efforts, activity leads to burnout). We can use the Pomodoro technique(30-minute learning strategy) or set mindfulness breathing techniques.
- Redefine rest: Rest doesn’t always mean sleeping. It can be reading, walking, creative play, or doing absolutely nothing.
- Boundary building: Learn to say NO. Overcommitment often arises from the fear of seeming unworthy. When the individual does the work even though they don’t want to do it. They do it just for the sake and eventually lead to burnout.
- Celebrating non-productivity: Journaling or reflecting on how rest can contribute to our emotional balance. It can help in reducing stress, anxiety levels and increasing positive emotions.
- Therapy: Individuals who are deeply dedicated to the productivity-based self-worth world, by consulting with a counsellor or therapist, can uncover early beliefs that shaped this mindset.
Read More: Why Saying “No” Feels So Hard (and How to Change That)
Conclusion
To rest in a society that prioritises work is a cruel act. It is a quiet resistance against internalised capitalism and external pressures that devalue being in favour of doing. When we give ourselves some permission to take rest, we regain that autonomy over time, our energy, and ultimately, our self-worth. Your value is not measured in deadlines met or tasks completed. You are worthy at rest.
FAQs
1. Why do people feel guilty when they take a rest?
Many people intake the societal messages and equate them with productivity and self-worth. This belief, known as internalised capitalism, is where individuals feel that rest is undeserved or lazy, especially when they’re not actively achieving something. It is often seen in a collectivist culture.
2. How does rest benefit the brain and body?
When individuals rest on the body, it can improve physical health, regulate their emotions and keep them in a balanced state and cognitive function. Our brain uses rest to remember memories, repair neural pathways of the brain and activate the Default Mode Network (DMN), which supports self-reflection and creativity. It also helps in achieving overall well-being.
3. Is the pressure to always be productive the same across cultures and genders, or not
No. Women, who play a dual role (work-households), often experience more guilt around rest due to societal expectations of caregiving. People in collectivist cultures like those in Asia often view taking rest as a selfish act because they believe it harms family and community responsibilities.
4. Psychologists can offer psychological interventions to help individuals overcome their guilt.
Interventions like self-compassion and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based therapies and relaxation techniques can help individuals as they encourage them to challenge their negative thoughts and change them into positive ones. It also helps in accepting imperfection and reframing rest as a necessary and healthy part of life.
5. How can we help someone start adding guilt-free rest into their daily routine?
Begin with small steps-
- Mindful breathing or short breaks.
- Include activities that feel restorative
- Set boundaries to avoid overcommitments
- Reflect on how rest supports your emotional and physical well-being. (Taking notes or journals is a much easier and more effective way to self-analyse).
References +
Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Smallwood, J., & Spreng, R. N. (2014). The default network and self-generated thought: component processes, dynamic control, and clinical relevance. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1316(1), 29–52.
Frayne, D. (2015). The Refusal of Work: The Theory and Practice of Resistance to Work. Zed Books.
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualisation of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomised controlled trial of the Mindful Self‐Compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44.
Pang, A. (2016). Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less. Basic Books.
Shafran, R., & Mansell, W. (2001). Perfectionism and psychopathology: a review of research and treatment. Clinical Psychology Review, 21(6), 879–906.
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