The Darker side of Our Emotions
Awareness

The Darker side of Our Emotions

the-dark-side-of-emotions

People sometimes use sentiments, moods, and emotions interchangeably, but they are not the same thing. Emotion is described as “a complex reaction pattern, involving experiential, behavioral, and physiological elements” by the American Psychological Association (APA). People respond to issues or circumstances that they think are relevant based on their emotions. Subjective experience, physiological reaction, and behavioural or expressive response are the three parts of emotional experiences.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Emotions

Emotions are the result of emotional experiences. Categorize this as hunger or discomfort since the individual is aware of the situation. Emotions generate feelings, which recollections, convictions, and additional elements can impact. We don’t always intend emotions to bring pleasure to ourselves or others. The dark side of emotions is:

Uncontrolled Rage

Anger is a common feeling that we all encounter occasionally. In response to perceived injustices or dangers, it may be a healthy reaction. But having too much or uncontrollably angry can be bad for ourselves and the people around us. Anger out of control can lead to regrettable words or actions, strain our relationships with others, and be detrimental to our own mental and physical well-being. Effective anger management requires the development of self-awareness and emotional control abilities.

Passive Aggressive Behavior

When we don’t explicitly address negative emotions, we engage in passive-aggressive behaviour to subtly express them. When someone engages in passive-aggressive behaviour, there is a discrepancy between their words and actions. Passive-aggressive behaviour, for instance, might make someone seem to agree even enthusiastically with another person’s request. But instead of doing as asked, they may choose to disregard the request or miss deadlines as a way to vent frustration or contempt.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Aggressive Behaviour

Indicators of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Among the specific indicators of passive-aggressive behaviour are:

  • Anger and resistance to other people’s demands, particularly those of those in positions of authority
  • Procrastination, unwillingness to cooperate, and deliberate errors made in reaction to demands from others sour, cynical, or antagonistic demeanour recurring grievances about feeling deceived or unappreciated. Even though passive-aggressive behaviour can be a symptom of several different mental health issues, we do not consider it a separate mental illness.

Passive-aggressive behaviour, however, can strain relationships and lead to issues at work. Consider speaking with a therapist if you or a loved one is experiencing passive-aggressive behaviour.

Jealousy

Although we typically associate jealousy with love and relationships, it can also manifest itself when you compare yourself to other people. It’s normal to feel envious in a close relationship, even though it’s usually seen as a bad thing. Reactive or suspicious jealousy could be felt by you. While the latter is based on circumstances that genuinely endanger the relationship and is frequently connected to acts or circumstances that result in the betrayal of trust, the former is based on perception and is frequently associated with low self-esteem and insecurity. Feelings other than jealousy might result from jealousy. Psychiatrist Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD, describes the following relationship manifestations of jealousy:

  • Having mistrust
  • verbal mistreatment
  • Behaving compulsively
  • Having a volatile temper
  • Pointing up flaws and placing blame
  • Being suspicious or overly cautious

It might be challenging to comprehend and deal with jealousy. You might feel ashamed, afraid, uneasy, or abandoned, depending on the circumstances. Consequently, you can decide to express your sentiments, worries, or fears to your loved one by saying anything. Alternatively, you can have a more impulsive response and yell, take away their phone, make demands, assign blame, accuse them of something that never happened, or just storm out.

Read More: How to Overcome Jealousy: Tips and Strategies for Letting Go of Envy”

Insecurity and Possessiveness

Insecurity

A sense of uncertainty and inadequacy, or not being good enough, is called insecurity. It causes worry about your objectives, interpersonal connections, and capacity to handle particular circumstances. Everyone experiences insecurity occasionally. It can arise from a multitude of sources and manifest itself in every aspect of life. Also, it could be the result of a traumatic incident, experience patterns, social conditioning (learning norms by watching others), or local surroundings like the workplace, home, or school. It may also be the result of widespread instability.

Individuals who encounter erratic disruptions in their daily lives are prone to experiencing feelings of insecurity around commonplace resources and habits. However, insecurity cannot be caused by a specific outside factor. Alternatively, it might seem like a personality or brain chemistry quirk. Knowing the characteristics of insecurities will enable you to control your own and provide others with the assistance they require.

Indicator of Insecurity

Low self-esteem or a bad self-image are indicators of insecurity, especially when the image appears to be at odds with what is observed from the outside. When you have low self-esteem, you have negative thoughts about your skills or yourself. It may result in further issues, particularly those related to mental health. If you have extremely low self-esteem, see a doctor.

Possessiveness

The term “possession” describes a strong desire to possess or have control over someone or something. The majority of us experience some kind of possessiveness in romantic partnerships. After all, the idea of “belonging” to someone is fundamental to the Valentine’s Day expression “be mine.” However, being possessive extends beyond appreciating a partner’s accomplishments or getting a little agitated when they act overly flirtatious with us. Possessiveness can develop into a major problem that causes other relationship issues if it is overused.

Read More: Decoding Love-Related Confusion: Insecurity and Self-Esteem in Relationships

These include being stalked, abused, envious, or unreasonable It’s critical to identify the warning signals of possessiveness in a relationship and to sense when it’s becoming unhealthy. The root cause of possessiveness is frequently attachment-style-related insecurities. Individuals who suffer from attachment anxiety typically see the good in other people and the negative in themselves. They fear that their partners are unreliable. Their dread of being rejected is a persistent one. An additional indicator of borderline personality disorder is possessiveness. Mood fluctuations are common among those who suffer from this illness. They become extremely possessive in an attempt to prevent being thought of as abandoned.

Is Insecurity and Possessiveness the same?

Insecurity and possessiveness are different, even if they might occasionally be connected. It stems from self-doubt and a worry about not being good enough, whereas possessiveness is more concerned with asserting control and ownership over another person or item. Insecurity and possessiveness can impede personal development and strain relationships. To address these problems, it’s frequently necessary to engage in introspection, communicate honestly, and be prepared to work toward developing healthy boundaries, trust, and self-assurance. Addressing and managing possessiveness and insecurity might also benefit from professional treatment, such as therapy.

Read More: Red Flags in a Relationship: Ignore them at your risk

Reasons to Embrace the Dark Emotions.

1. It makes you whole

Avoiding our negative feelings makes us feel as though we are making progress, but it is not good for our happiness or health. We lose out on the opportunity to address the root of our discomfort when we ignore the problem. Both our good and bad emotions complete us and are an integral part of who we are. The wide colour pallet of the universe is our emotions. Dark emotions are always evoked by tough life transitions, and avoiding our negative feelings makes us feel as though we are making progress, but it is not good for our happiness or health.

Read More: Happiness and Immune System

We lose out on the opportunity to address the root of our discomfort when we ignore the problem. Both our good and bad emotions complete us and are an integral part of who we are. The wide colour pallet of the universe is our emotions. Dark emotions are always evoked by tough life transitions, and humans have a great deal of difficulty with these changes. Contrary to popular belief, we become more whole the more we fully experience all of our emotions, especially the negative ones. humans have a great deal of difficulty with these changes. Contrary to popular belief, we become more whole the more we fully experience all of our emotions, especially the negative ones.

2. It leads to Self – awareness

We need negative emotions for mental well-being. There is no denying that experiencing a range of happy emotions improves our well-being, yet choosing certain feelings over others might be dangerous. Selecting which feelings to accept and which to suppress causes us to unintentionally drift from self-awareness. It can be harmful to reject our sadness, worry, and other negative feelings because we won’t be facing the cause of our suffering.

Read More: Mastering Your Emotions: A Guide to Emotional Control

3. It teaches you to appreciate the good.

The dark matter mountain you’re tucking under the rug won’t go away by avoiding or repressing your negative feelings; all it will do is distort the optimistic spectrum you’re clinging to. Humans are naturally averse to suffering; none find it enjoyable. We fear it, we dread it. the discomfort, the pain, the anguish. However, consider this for a minute: is the pain itself worse or is the anticipation? The night before an exam or a job interview, consider real-world scenarios. Isn’t it better to put that behind us? the instant relief, as though a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. And everything is well once more.

References +
  • https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/negative-emotions#:~:text=There%20are%20a%20number%20of,to%20make%20yourself%20feel%20better
  • Rapoport, Z. (2022, October 27). 6 Reasons to Embrace Dark Emotions | New York. Rapoport Psychological Services 2021. https://www.rapoportpsychological.com/therapy-blog/6-reasons-to-embrace-dark-emotions
  • https://www.google.com/s?q=Insecurity+is+a+feeling+of+inadequacy1
  • WebMD Editorial Contributors. (2020, December 4). Signs of possession in sex and relationships. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-possessiveness

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