The traditional Indian household tends to have some deeply ingrained gendered expectations. Such expectations tend to have a deep impact on the family dynamics, the lives of children, and the overall personality of all its members. Though some of these beliefs seem to have changed over the years, the changes may not be sufficient or even large enough for the entire population. The mindset remains that the birth of a son is above that of a daughter; these beliefs and values tend to be changing now, though.
Sons or males are considered to be the primary inheritors, whereas daughters or females are raised to be nurturers or future wives and daughters-in-law. Daughters are cherished for their kindness and emotional warmth, but are still considered “paraaya dhan”, i.e., someone else’s wealth or responsibility. This way of thinking is rooted in the patriarchal system and male lineage. The duality in the perspectives towards sons and daughters shapes and can explain a variety of behaviours.
Gendered Roles & Expectations
Even though women may be able to get equal education and job opportunities these days, the discrimination and differential treatment between the two sexes is nowhere near over. Males are still the primary inheritors; the majority of the Indian population is still patriarchal, where sons inherit property and family name. Daughters, on the other hand, are considered to be provided with love and care, but after a particular age, they are married off and “given” to another family, to whom they belong.
Researchers have suggested that the division of labour in relationships is largely affected by social norms, biases, beliefs about gender roles, and power relations. This division is also influenced differently in different cultures (Parikh, 2017). In many Indian families, intergenerational households are very common. They tend to include three to four generations living under one roof.
The relationship interplay between these generations governs behaviours and expected roles. Where men, especially the husband’s father, lie at the top of the hierarchy. Followed by the husband’s mother and then the wives and children. This hierarchy explains the amount of power and influence they have on the family, their responsibilities, and rules.
Gendered Roles, Labour, and Generational Beliefs
In most Indian households, sons are the primary breadwinners, and their wives often are subordinate to them and their in-laws. Hence, men are responsible for the majority of the paid labour, whereas women are subject to the unpaid work in the household. The women’s unpaid work tends to be more than the men’s paid work, yet they don’t receive the same amount of respect or authority. As opposed to what should be the case, in modern India, where many females also have jobs now, their household workload isn’t reduced or even equally distributed; their jobs are seen as additional, and they are expected to be good wives, mothers, and daughters-in-law, while also working in the corporate world. Male members of the family remain absent from the day-to-day household chores, thereby playing no part in the unpaid work (Hasnain & Srivastava, 2018).
Currently, the different generations seem to have different views and beliefs about gendered norms, roles, and expectations. People believe that individuals are equally qualified and have the same capabilities. Both sexes seem to have shared views about families; they believe that they have a shared responsibility towards their families. However, there is a stark difference in their approach to these responsibilities. Ideally, shared and equal responsibilities should mean that the partners should have equal responsibilities and roles.
Multiplying Roles and Expectations of Women
In reality, women do a lot more. Men are at the point of decision-making and financials, whereas women actually carry out the responsibilities. Women are much more effective at multitasking. The roles of women are multiplying; they are the ones who are asked to meet the expectations of their jobs, family, and household work. It is believed that women’s jobs are secondary; they are required to work but without hampering their responsibility towards their family, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law, as well as the ‘homemaker’.
The society has created a system of distributed roles; these roles cannot be disarmed as easily as we’d hope them to be. Working women or housewives often do not get support from their families. Men may accept that an imbalance between the two exists, but they hardly do anything to bring about change. As long as the patriarchal mindset exists, men will be considered to be superior, by themselves as well as others (Pandya & Bhangaokar, 2022).
1. Sons as the Legacy Holders
Thus, it can be understood that men (sons) are the legacy holders. They inherit the name, property, resources, social status, and everything else. Considered to be the ones essential to continue the family line. They are expected to fulfil this cultural duty that dates back centuries.
2. Daughters as Providers for Love
On the other hand, daughters are expected to be the emotional anchor; they are taught to be caring, compassionate, kind, and self-sacrificing from the very beginning. Their primary role is to provide everyone with emotional support and affection. But this arrangement is viewed to be temporary, i.e., until they go to their husband’s home. These rigid gender expectations in Indian households have a plethora of psychological costs for individuals. Sons may feel pressured to take on responsibilities that they may not be prepared for.
They are burdened to do as told, to follow the traditions, and conform to the norms. Their worth may be limited to their earning capacity, reduced to being only the ‘breadwinners’. Whereas daughters may feel unwanted and undervalued despite their achievements. This may lead to them having internalised beliefs of inadequacy and inferiority. Women thus often tend to see themselves in association with others and not as a complete whole (Rao, 2012). These expectations thus not only influence societal roles but also limit people’s individual personalities. Hence, it limits familial bonds to transactional roles instead of authentic relations.
How to bring about a substantial change?
Even though the roles of the sexes may have evolved and it may not be as restrictive, the mindsets remain stubborn and unchanging even now. Women realise that their need and ability to multitask is higher. Men also seem to passively accept and reinforce the traditional gender norms, despite being completely aware of the issues that it create. This unwillingness to move away from patriarchal privileges somehow causes men to be a cause for hampering women’s well-being and equality in families. These stereotypical gendered expectations and roles need to be eliminated and changed now in the twenty-first century (Pandya & Bhangaokar, 2022).
To do so, people need to realise that people are equal, and they need to provide sons and daughters with equal opportunities. They should recognise that even emotional labour is hard and valuable. Both sons and daughters should be provided with equal inheritance and love. They need to give daughters more opportunities and respect, as well as relieve sons from oppressive obligations and masculine ideals.
Read More: Unequal Emotional Labour in Partnerships: Causes, Gender Dynamics & Solutions
Conclusion
Sons being considered the primary inheritors and daughters being raised to be nurturers and caretakers is a tale as old as time. Cultural values, beliefs, and norms only strengthen these gendered expectations. A change is extremely crucial for the betterment of human beings. Even though a problem has been identified and agreed upon, change seems to be overlooked or at least not actively considered. This can be altered by spreading awareness in society and providing them with equal opportunities and safe spaces. Though some changes may be seen in India as well, these changes need to be uniform across populations and ages.
References +
Butler, E. A., Lee, T. L., & Gross, J. J. (2007). Emotion regulation and culture: Are the social consequences of emotion suppression culture-specific? Emotion, 7(1), 30–48. https://doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.7.1.30
Hasnain, A., & Srivastava, A. (2018). Social Norms, Gender Roles and Time Use: Multigenerational Households in India. Bridgewater Review, 37(2), 5. https://vc.bridgew.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2055&context=br_rev
Pandya, N., & Bhangaokar, R. (2022). Equal but different: views on gender roles and responsibilities among Upper-Class Hindu Indians in established adulthood. Journal of Adult Development, 30(1), 145–155. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-022-09417-4
Parikh, A. (2017, December 30). Gendered Household Expectations: Neoliberal Policies, Graveyard Shifts, and Women’s Responsibilities in Mumbai, India. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Aparna-Parikh/publication/333956598_Gendere d_Household_Expectations/links/6241b3a757084c718b7186c8/Gendered-Household
Expectations.pdf Rao, N. (2012). Male ‘Providers’ and female ‘Housewives’: a gendered co-performance in rural North India. Development and Change, 43(5), 1025–1048. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-7660.2012.01789.x
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