Cultural and Developmental Perspectives: How Belief Systems Shape a Child’s Understanding of Death 

Have you ever witnessed death of any close one. A lot going on outside while you are numb on inside. As a child you had a thought about what happened to people when they died you asked your mom but she avoided, as a child everyone of us had many questions – one of them being “where do people go when they died.”

Death is one of the difficult concepts for children to understand as they experience loss with different emotions and cognitive processes than adults. A child’s understanding of life is determined by two factors : Cognitive and cultural environment. Cognition decides how their brain matures, how their synapses are formed; cultural environment refers to the stories, songs, rituals, morals, and beliefs they are exposed from their family, friends, and society.

The cultural environment often leads to formation of new synapse and strengthening of older synapse, hence to some extent affecting the cognitive component. Cultural exposure provides a software that helps a child perceive things while biological process converts them into a hardware. 

How a Child Develops Thinking? 

As per Erikson’ s stages of psychosocial development during initial years of one’s life they are mainly searching for autonomy. During this time the generally have no idea about what life or death is. It is after 3 years of age that child actually starts observing. They tend to perceive things as temporary for example if there favourite cartoon character is not on a TV it means they might be sleeping similarly they might perceive a person who is dead as someone living far away.

In many religion it is taught that the ones who die get reincarnated as a stars, a child who is taught similar concept might perceive that someone who died is actually star and may return back to them or some religions focus on the concept of heaven or hell, they might teach the kids that after death people go to a better place which a child my perceive as any actual place, the might even be confused that why they cannot visit.  

After the age of 5 or 6 child begins to understand the actual meaning of things – they begin to take pride in things they own, tasks they perform, people related to them. Any encounter with death my trigger a response similar to seperation as being to realise that those who died may never return.When a family member suddenly passes away, children and parents often experience the loss of important attachment figures.

For children, typical reactions to death may involve shock and denial, deep sorrow, and a sense of emptiness (Flahault et al. 2018). Age of child also affects their perception about death – younger children often ted to develop fear of death when they were talked about it while children above 12 years showed discomfort but did not developed phobia (Sadia Aleem,2024) 

Do Attachment styles affect child’s perception? 

Researches have shown that children develop different attachment styles depending on the caregiver’s bond with the child. As attachment being instinctual behaviour that has survival value it affects behaviour of an individual, relationships they form and their perception about life. Hence it affects the whole life of an individual. When parents are emotionally available, the child usually tend to develop positive feeling about self.

They do not tend to consider themselves worthless. These children tend to form better relationships in their life hence might feel fulfilled in their old age which may lead to easy understanding of finality of death. Erikson’s stages of development also state that those individuals who look back in life and have a feeling of fullfilment tend to easily comprehend with death.

While the parents who do not provide in a emotional support, the child may start feeling neglected. This may lead to feeling of worthlessness affecting the relationships they form in the future. In majority of the cases these individuals tend to carry these feelings to their old age leading to the feeling of despair. Also the children who are emotionally fulfilled tend to deal with the sudden loss of any close one in a better way as compared to those who are not.

Recent research have highlighted that a greater understanding of death is often associated with lower level of death anxiety when the children were securely attached.(Sadia Aleem,2024) 

Past Experiences of Children can affect their thoughts  

The past experience of a child also affects their understanding of death. Children with past experience of death often understand death more realistically as compared to those who do not have any experience. In United States on an average before the age of 14, about 5 to 8% of children experience the laws of sibling(Fletcher et al. 2013), while between the age of 7 to 18 about 5% of childrens suffer loss of a parent.(Melhem et al. 2011).

Researches have often shown that children who have discussed about death with their caregiver, tend to understand death in realistic way. In most of the cultures and societies the topic of death is considered not friendly enough to talk to infront of kids. This approach might lead to development of unrealistic expectations like those who die, still exist and can come to meet them.

Adults often believe that younger children should be protected from the idea of loss as they are not mature enough to understand it, however the children must be prepared to understand loss and related events. (Rosengren et al. 2014; Talwar 2011). Miller et al. (2014) In a study in America found that about 75% of parents reported that they were comfortable talking to their children about death while only 3% reported extreme discomfort however when children actually encountered death of pets, neighbour, relatives almost all of them used and indirect, avoidant approach and try to shield there child’s feeling.

So a simple talk about death can provide a child with an experience that may help them in dealing with their emotion when they actually encounter one ( Sadia Aleem, 2024). Younger children often develop a phobia regarding death as they fear about absence of caregiver, loss of close ones and friends. However talking about it can reduce phobia. 

How Religions beliefs affect Child’s Perception? 

Recent studies have shown that a mother’s religious believes often shape their conversation with their child and often child tends to take intellectual benefits from their conversation.(Zajac and Boyatzis 2020). Hence a parent’s religious beliefs are often passes to child. Religious coping can be negative as well as positive. Positive coping involves praying to God for the rest of dead ones while negative copying involves blaming God for the death.