“Happiness or sorrow – whatever befalls you. Walk on Untouched, unattached.”

Emotions can be a stronger form of connection among people. Emotion as explained by Morgan, is a subjective feeling. It is described as a physiological basis of feeling influencing our perception in thinking. So many definitions to describe what emotion is but it has become very difficult to understand these emotions.

India, bounded by its own ‘sanskaars’ can be undoubtedly called as ‘A land of Moral Principles’. We get to see it in every house. Children are nurtured highly upon ‘How to maintain our Super ego?’ This is where majority of Indian parents make mistakes. They don’t let the child grow liberally in any of the aspects, be it social or psychological. They don’t let the child fully express their emotions because they fear what if they reveal the ‘truth’. That may be the reason why the crime rates are increasing in India. It is all about the bottled up emotions and feelings which were not allowed to come to the front because ‘what will society say?’

Psychology is a very dynamic term to explain. Understanding human minds and its complex processes is not an easy task, especially when you are in India. It would be really cliche to talk about feminism in this context but it is a fact that a girl and a boy are taught different things to sustain in this world. A girl is asked not to laugh so loudly, sit in a proper way, and do not talk to the boys, no trip with friends and what not. Society tells us to be who we are, but then it has terms and conditions with it. On the same platform, boys are never restricted for anything because they are ‘chiraag’ of their family. Does anyone think what sort of mental pressure a girl goes through all her life? Can anyone not think of her as a burden?

                  It’s not hard to be her,                       
All you need to do is, Smile when you bleed.

This is not your fault dear parents. This is what even you have been taught when you were growing up. It’s okay to comply with the norms of the society. But do you think it is worthwhile? The daughters of India move on in life saying this is what we are destined with. Daughters when they enter the phase called ‘Marriage’ are asked to live on the gun point. They don’t understand what to do next. Not because they are not aware of anything, but because they take it as a vow ‘For a better Worse!’  This is the stage where women start shutting their mouth whenever they are hurt emotionally, physically or sexually. This is the phase where their bottled up emotions give rise to the symptoms of mental illness. By mental illness, I mean it can be wide range of mental health conditions or disorders affecting mood, thinking and behaviour. This sort of behaviour on the part of women gradually changes their personality. It not just affects the woman but other family members too. Bottling up emotions has becomes the very soul in a relationship. Some may result in outbursts, some may still be within her. This works as a slow poison to the human mind. After years of togetherness, they start fighting over silly things.

They know that some problems have already started creating problems in their family life but they do not understand that the base is their own unsolved and untouched past experiences. Feelings of grief, confusion, guilt, loss , anger starts persisting. Children are worried by now that why their parents are behaving so irrationally. They start internalizing their parent’s behaviour, thus creating a different corner for fear. Fear of encountering such negative experiences of parents fighting with each other. Fear of separation of their parents. Fear of loss.

Unexpressed emotions are paving their path to marital tensions, thus affecting every member of the family. Though there is no physical harm in it, the tensed environment is affecting mental well-being of family members. Everybody start feeling the pressure in the house thus creating a need for help.  Thus, it’s high time that people start understanding that situations like this needs ‘Professional Help’.

It is high time that people understand the core of these nightmares that women go through years after years. These nightmares may not be the exact replay of the event. Sometimes the emotions that are felt during the event, such as fear, helplessness and sadness are replayed. It is very difficult to resist the feelings that came with the past events. If not treated before time, it can have devastating results. It’s not enough to say her to be happy and to stay positive. There are plenty of motivational videos which help people by giving them temporary relief. It’s time that the emotions of the person are touched. Empathizing with such people is really very difficult because it is not an easy task to exactly feel the same as they are feeling. Neither we can ask them to stop nor can we ask them to forgive and forget. They have gone through a lot. 

People, we may come across feelings of anger, guilt, disgust, surprise, sadness, fear, loneliness, hostility, furious, impatient, aggravated, revengeful, defensiveness, outraged, shame, insecure, etc in our home environment. Understand that it is someone’s wounds of past experiences that is untouched. There is a need to understand the antecedents that is resulting in such behaviour.

Something has deeply affected the person because of which he or she is reacting in such a way. We may feel helpless at times. But we should handle such situations with utmost care and patience. Such cases require us to understand the hidden emotions, thoughts and behaviour.


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