An adolescent is at that age of our lives when lots of changes are happening. Changes can be either in the physical, social, emotional or psychological, inside and outside our bodies. Adolescent! The name alone can send chills up the brain of many parents. It is a period of enormous changes and we all have gone through this phase of our lives when the conflicts between the parents and child begin to arise. Suddenly, the relationship starts changing between them. They both find it difficult to understand each other’s perspective and to make their own respective views understood to each other. The reason behind this is the fact that both the parties have their own values and belief system regarding the way they react to each other and here the age-gap thing comes into play.
A teenager’s brain is very good at experiencing new things, finding out new opportunities, taking risks and sensation seeking. Visualizing their children doing these things or even thinking about them doing such things make parents anxious. They become very concerned about their child as they don’t want their child to go through something that will end up making their life complicated or uneasy. As a result, they keep a track of their children’s activities to guide them, to protect them, to look after them and to take care of them but it is not interpreted in the same manner by their adolescent child most of the time. Teenagers sometimes might see it as interference in their private matters or start feeling that the parents just want to control their child for getting the things to be done in their desired way. This is complicated! Isn’t it? To understand the needs of your adolescent child as a parent in order to help them grow in a flawless manner! So, here are some points which can be applied and will be proved to be helpful in creating a healthy bond with your adolescent child:-
Shaping the personality of child:
As the child is already learning to accept the changes happening in their appearance which occurs with the growing age, they also start becoming aware of how their peers see them and actively try to fit in their peer group, for this purpose they start experimenting with their looks and identities. Also, they become very conscious about how they differ from their peers resulting in episodes of distress and conflict with parents. For all parents it is important to make the child aware of their own uniqueness and identity; teaching them to accept themselves the way they are. This cannot be done by dominating or pressurizing them to behave in a way in which you want them to behave. Now, it does not mean that you should not stop them from spoiling themselves but you just need to talk to them like a friend to make them understand what is good for them and why something is bad for them. Make them learn how to love themselves with all of their flaws and uniqueness to build an incredible confidence in them to present themselves in front of all those who are still struggling to find their own self in this ever-changing world. Enhance their personality by developing good character, moral values and temperament, all this can be done to some extent in the following ways:-
- Letting them participate in different extra curricular activities in the school to help them know about their own hidden talents and abilities.
- Making them more social, helpful and kind with people around them but not through a technological medium like phone.
- Help them to nurture their own glorious self by making them learn how to speak up for themselves and put their own points forward.
- Spend time with them to know about their choices, aspirations, and dreams and most importantly about your own child.
- Educate them about inculcating healthy habits in their lifestyle and learning about impressive body language skills to make up their personality as a whole.
- Making them learn how to listen and understand to what other person is trying to say and behave with other people nicely and accurately.
Helping them in taking up the responsibility:
Every adolescent needs independence, growth and support. It is very important for parents to make their child aware about the responsibilities step by step such as: cleaning their own room, taking care of their studies on their own, taking care of their own body/health, etc. Engaging them in certain activities and assigning them some responsibilities will help you and your child to understand each other better and will also make the child more responsible and organized as an individual.
Being there for them to talk:
Every adolescent child needs emotional support and companionship and what could be better than finding it in their own parents. Opening the lines of communication will help in creating a friendly bond and connection between the child and the parent by which a child can share everything with their parents and parents will also be able to guide them in a proper way about many things.
Respect child’s privacy
It is another important point to understand that there are things about your adolescent child where he/she doesn’t want much interference and it is mandatory to provide them with some amount of privacy in their lives to let them make decisions according to them but in order to protect your them the parents are very much concerned about their child. Parents can look for some warning signs in where some action is required. Those warning signs could be:-
Any mistreatment or abuse
If they are feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed about something that has happened
Peer pressure or the reasons by which he/she is becoming very self-conscious.
But, before concluding it is very important to search for a cause of any irrational behavior and asking your child for the reasons behind their behavior.
Lastly, it is very important to know that your child is not your little bonsai trees, they are wildflowers which needs proper nourishment, growth, care, support of their parents to help them become an incredible person and fulfil all their needs and dreams. There are certain changes which the parents also face when their cute little one who used to listen to every command of them change into an adolescent child. Parents need to accept the fact that changes are meant happen every second in our lives. So, be there for your kids, understand them, provide them with love and support in every way possible, help them in making good choices and decisions in their life and most importantly, help them to build and explore themselves into a more better individual.
“Be their best friend at every point of life”