Has there been a time when you have experienced watching films or television series that seemed to encapsulate emotions that are beyond your grasp? There are some works which are memorable for reasons that go beyond their plot twists, because these pieces of entertainment resonate with the internal struggles that we all endure silently. Studies indicate that young adulthood is a highly emotional phase in which a person becomes unsure about their identity, their relationships, their profession and their future prospects (Arnett, 2000). It is at this stage that people often wonder if they are pursuing their own aspirations or somebody else’s dreams.
Netflix’s Musafir Cafe perfectly reflects the above-mentioned universal phenomenon. The program appears to be a completely authentic story about love affairs, but at the core, it is all about self-discovery. Through the emotional struggle of Chander, Sudha, and Preeti, Musafir Cafe addresses some important questions about identity, relationships, emotions, and love. Instead of depicting the perfect heroes with ideal relations between them, Musafir Cafe introduces people with flaws and uncertainty, making them extremely relatable. The show can be examined from the standpoint of psychology, which would offer a lot of insights into why the heroes of Musafir Cafe seem so realistic.
Searching for Identity in an Uncertain World
The struggle for individual identity has been identified as one of the leading features of psychology within the book Musafir Cafe. The protagonist, along with some other major characters, has a high degree of feeling of belonging and self-identity that makes it difficult for him/her to be acquainted with himself/herself. Each character has made efforts to establish his/her identity and know himself/herself in this world.
Chander symbolises such a generation of youngsters that handle their lives in a superficial manner and confront inner turmoil. This man performs all his responsibilities as an accountable citizen of his country; he interacts with other members of his society with dignity and emotional maturity. However, there is something more in this personality as Chander experiences doubts about his choices and life goals. As many individuals of his age, Chander wonders if the way of life he has chosen meets his ambitions or if it’s a choice he has made out of necessity.
Identity crisis is one of the terms used by psychologist Erik Erikson (1968) to describe this phenomenon in life during which an individual starts questioning his beliefs, values and directions in life. Though this process was associated by Erikson with the adolescent period of one’s life, further studies have shown that identity exploration usually proceeds during emerging adulthood when people make significant decisions regarding career, relationships and other aspects of their lives (Arnett, 2000).
As adults do not know everything from childhood, the majority of people keep on asking themselves whether their current way of living is what they really wanted. Another psychological term that is represented by the series is the notion put forward by psychologist Carl Rogers (1959), known as a discrepancy between one’s real and ideal self. The real self is the one that describes a genuine personality of one, while the ideal self is a version of oneself that an individual wants to be.
These two features play a prominent role throughout the story. On one hand, Chander dreams about a happy life where happiness takes place and dominates everything; on the other hand, he realises some responsibilities and sensible actions too. The choice is quite familiar for the audience. Nowadays, a successful life can be evaluated through the achievements of one’s career, wealth, accomplishments, and even online status on various platforms. Being surrounded by constant comparisons easily leads to an illusion that everybody else has their life figured out, whereas we are still confused about our own future. Musafir Cafe implicitly contradicts this fallacy by proving that uncertainty is part of our collective humanity.
Whereas Chander’s story is about self-knowledge, Sudha is the character whose mission involves remaining true to yourself and developing authentic relationships at the same time. Emotionally sensitive and kindhearted, Sudha knows the value of honesty. Unlike the majority of fiction characters who demonstrate fearlessness, Sudha suffers from vulnerability, but does not let it influence her.
On psychological grounds, the character Sudha exhibits traits that can be referred to as self-congruence. This term refers to a psychological condition where the individual is able to express his or her true self. Individuals who have higher levels of self-congruence are likely to exhibit higher levels of psychological wellness simply because it does not cost them much effort to pretend to be someone else. Self-honesty displayed by Sudha allows her relationship to develop without the need for pretending.
There also comes the figure of Preeti. Her story gives yet another insight into self-development. Her story makes one realise that an individual should not derive his or her value from others’ decisions. Despite the fact that being disappointed was quite difficult, she has learnt over time to accept any changes with dignity. This is because it is at such times that individuals learn how to grow by learning to respect themselves (Rogers, 1959). It is because a number of people identify themselves with the feelings of Preeti on account of a common feeling. Everything does not turn out to be as one wishes or anticipates it to be, but there are occasions wherein acceptance brings relief to one emotionally. It is not done as an indication of any kind of weakness, as is depicted at Musafir Cafe.
Through the experiences of Chander, Sudha, and Preeti, viewers come to understand that identity is something which does not just happen to individuals. Identity slowly and steadily evolves through the process of living, meeting people, getting disappointed, or having reflections in life. It is reinforced psychologically, as it is noted that identity is dynamic throughout the adult years of life (Arnett, 2000). That might be the reason why the cafe “Musafir” becomes so personal to us. Its people are not looking for perfection. They are looking for themselves. While doing this, they represent an emotion of millions of people who are still finding out the fact that the only important relation they could ever have is that with themselves
Love, Attachment, and Healing
Whereas Musafir Cafe is perceived as a romantic drama, the real emotional complexity of this work is in the portrayal of love as a tool of personal development rather than of a happy ending. It does not promise the resolution of people’s problems with the help of the appearance of their beloved ones. Instead, Musafir Cafe shows the fears, insecurities, emotional scars and dreams of the characters. With the help of Chander, Sudha and Preeti, the show proves the idea that all relationships are based not only on love but also on previous experiences of people.
There are a number of approaches that are considered to be the best when it comes to explaining the nature of relationships. One such approach is Attachment Theory, which was created by John Bowlby in 1982. The basis of this theory is the impact of early relationships with caregivers on relationships between adults. This experience results in the creation of certain “attachment styles” that influence the expression of feelings, handling of conflicts and ability for emotional closeness. In 2016, Mikulincer and Shaver demonstrated the same process through their research.
The emotional struggle that Chander is going through resembles the uncertainty that many people face when they open up to love. Instead of being expressive, he tends to hesitate, thinks too much about different situations and is afraid that he may take a wrong decision. This kind of behaviour is characteristic of emotional struggles that many young adults have nowadays. In an era of numerous options and comparisons, people often fear commitment not because they fail to value love, but because they fear making the wrong choice and experiencing pain. Psychological literature suggests that many people avoid emotional vulnerability when forming relationships because they fear experiencing hurt or rejection (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
In contrast, Sudha demonstrates completely different traits. She is honest, empathic and emotionally open in her relationships. She does not build emotional walls, but shares her feelings while at the same time taking into account the individuality of the people she is interacting with. Securely attached individuals demonstrate this kind of behaviour because they freely express their emotions, trust others, and maintain clear boundaries (Bowlby, 1982).
The interaction between Chander and Sudha shows that communication, patience, and mutual respect build good relationships rather than spectacular moments. In the story, we learn the fact that love is not about transforming a person. It is about creating a space where both can live freely. They do not need to feel like they need to be someone different for their partners. This idea seems to be particularly significant in our modern-day world. Relationships fail because of high demands and unreasonable expectations made by society and popular culture.
Preeti’s character gives the story another important psychological dimension as well. The evolution of her life situation shows that love does not always lead to the happy ending that people expect. Nevertheless, instead of allowing disappointment to control her, she does not transform her negative feelings into anger or rage. She slowly starts accepting the things that she cannot change.
This particular episode reveals an important element of emotional maturity. It describes the capability to live with unpleasant experiences without allowing them to define a person. Apart from attachment, Musafir Cafe addresses the issue of dealing with emotional wounds as well. The emotional scars of each major character in this series stem from different experiences. These include missed chances, tough choices, or an unexpected course of life. The key to understanding Musafir Cafe lies in the fact that healing does not come fast. People achieve it through self-awareness and support from others.
Emotion regulation is what can help explain coping with negative emotions. Emotion regulation deals with people’s ability to become aware of and understand their emotions. Upon feeling sad or disappointed, people may be afraid of talking about their painful experiences. They tend to ignore their feelings and avoid conversations. Research shows that people suffer more when they try to avoid their feelings (Gross, 2002).
This could be one of the reasons why the series strikes a chord with its viewers. All of us have faced heartbreak, indecision, rejection, or emotional letdowns. Realising how characters deal with these issues offers solace. It shows that one can get through them even without being unrealistically perfect.
What is interesting about the series Musafir Cafe is that many romantic shows consider romantic relationships the goal in itself. However, in reality, relationships are just another aspect through which a person learns something valuable about himself or herself. What the show teaches us is that in relationships, we should try becoming our real selves. We should be honest with our feelings and desires.
Conclusion
Musafir Cafe creates a lingering impression since it brings out emotions that all people feel. Its subtle storytelling explores deep issues of identity, love, emotional vulnerability, healing, self-healing, and self-awareness. Musafir Cafe shows the psyches of three characters, namely Chander, Sudha, and Preeti, which depict the inner challenges that young adults face in their journey of life. These include challenges in relationships, work, expectations, and personal aspirations.
Psychological concepts such as Erikson’s stages of development and issues of identity, Rogers’ self-congruence theory, Bowlby’s attachment theory, Gross’s concept of Emotion Regulation, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and Baumeister and Leary’s Belongingness theory have been helpful in creating such realistic characters. These characters are true to the viewers’ experiences of life’s uncertainties, emotional vulnerability, and the process of healing, which does not happen overnight.
That might be the reason why Musafir Cafe seems so personal. This place doesn’t give the illusion of perfection at its end. On the contrary, it praises those common people who still keep on moving ahead despite everything: fear, disappointment, unanswered questions. And all that helps us remember that any journey, regardless of its destination. It helps us realise our true identity and our home.
References +
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- Rogers, C. R. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality, and interpersonal relationships. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A Study of a Science (Vol. 3, pp. 184–256). McGraw-Hill.
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