Emotional Loneliness vs Social Loneliness: Understanding the Difference

The feeling of loneliness is universal, yet it is not consistently presented in the same way. Some individuals are alone despite having family with them, and others are alone despite having many friends. This is the case since loneliness is not merely being alone. It is an emotional experience of an individual and a result of the unmet connection needs (National Academies of Sciences, 2020). Research indicates that loneliness may manifest itself in various ways depending on the nature of the connection that is lacking in the life of an individual. 

According to the researchers, loneliness falls into two categories: emotional and social (Weiss, 1973; Cacioppo and Cacioppo, 2018). Emotional loneliness is seen when one does not have a strong attachment to a person one trusts. Social loneliness is also seen to arise when an individual does not have a group or community to associate with. It is worth understanding these two types due to the fact that each of them influences well-being differently. The awareness of the difference assists individuals in getting to know more about their feelings and select the appropriate support to feel closer. 

What is Loneliness 

Loneliness is a subjective and affective emotion that comes up when the relationship a person desires is not the same as the one they have. It is not just a matter of the number of people who are present. An individual can be surrounded by a huge family or numerous classmates, but they will be lonely because his or her emotional or social needs are not fulfilled (National Academies of Sciences, 2020). This makes the matter of loneliness a subjective one- it is the feeling one gets deep down with the inside and not the outside. 

Scientists also state that loneliness is not identical to social isolation. Social isolation is the state of few social contacts as well, and loneliness is the inner feeling that people are disconnected or unsupported (Valtorta and Hanratty, 2012). In the studies of psychology, the concept of loneliness is explained as an indicator that there is something essential in this or that person that is missed in the relationships (Cacioppo and Cacioppo, 2018). To most individuals, this absent aspect may be a strong emotional attachment or a feeling of inclusion in a team. Emotional and social loneliness is based on these two needs. 

Read More: Feeling Lonely in a Friend Group? Here’s What It Means and What to Do

Emotional Loneliness: Missing a Close Bond 

It is evident when one does not have a closely connected, significant and trusted relationship. It is the emotion one gets when there is no one to share worries, joys, or personal thoughts with. Researchers define emotional loneliness as a lack of a strong emotional connection with someone, e.g. a partner, best friend, or family member that one would feel secure and understood by (de Jong Gierveld and van Tilburg, 2010). This kind of loneliness may come following the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or an extended time of emotional isolation in a significant relationship. 

Research indicates that emotional loneliness is emotionally connected with internal emotional fights. Human beings tend to be lonely, unsupported, or invisible even when they are physically there amid others (Maes et al., 2023). Emotional loneliness is related to sadness, anxiety, and low self-esteem since people tend to form a close and comforting relationship (Nicolaisen and Thorsen, 2014). It does not deal with the number of individuals in the life of someone. Rather, it is the existence of any significant relationship that brings out warmth, trust, and emotional comfort. 

Read More: How Workplace Loneliness Impacts Mental Health

Social loneliness: Missing a Wider Circle 

Social loneliness comes into the picture when an individual does not have a supportive group or community to identify with. It is the sense of exclusion, being out of touch or a lack of a group of people to converse with. According to the researchers, social loneliness is the lack of a broader circle of friends, peers, and workmates or neighbourhood people with whom they can share companionship and engage in common activities (Gierveld et al., 2018). This form of loneliness usually occurs when individuals change their residence, school, careers or lack adequate access to socialise with other people. 

Research indicates that social loneliness influences the feeling of belonging of an individual. When an individual has a close relationship with someone, peers may seem far away even when they are having a close relationship (Hawkley and Cacioppo, 2010). Indications of social loneliness are a desire to have more friends, being excluded from a group, or a lack of social intercourse. Studies also observe that such loneliness is associated with a lack of confidence. And involvement in group activities due to the inability to find sufficient support in the social environment around (Holt-Lunstad, 2021). Social loneliness does not imply an emotional proximity but a consistent friendly circle.

How to Tell the Difference 

It might seem to be the same, but emotional and social loneliness are caused by different unmet needs. The loneliness that is emotional occurs because one may not have a strong and close relationship with one or more individuals. Social loneliness manifests itself when an individual does not have a broader social group or circle to be part of (Weiss, 1973; van Tilburg et al., 2022). The distinction can be explained as follows: emotional loneliness is the lack of somebody, whereas social loneliness lack of community. These two types may occur simultaneously, yet one can experience one without the other. 

Research indicates that emotional loneliness correlates with the quality of relationships and social loneliness correlates with the quantity and arrangement of social networks of a person (Nicolaisen and Thorsen, 2014). As an example, an individual can have numerous friends but feel lonely emotionally when none of them makes them feel safe or close. Even with a close bond, lacking a group can lead to social loneliness and highlight the support needed for a healthy life. The knowledge of which type is present will help them find the right way to live. 

Read More: Why Crowded Loneliness Is More Common Than You Think

Why the Difference Matters for Mental Health 

It is significant to understand that emotional and social loneliness are different since they influence well-being differently. There is a close association between emotional isolation and inner emotional conflicts. The research indicates that individuals who do not have a trusted connection with each other tend to be sad, anxious, or have lowered self-esteem (Cacioppo et al., 2010). Emotional bonds are useful to cope with stress and feel understood; thus, in cases when the connection does not exist, everyday life is burdened and maintaining emotional balance becomes more difficult (Maes et al., 2023). 

Social loneliness does not work the same way. It has been researched that individuals who do not identify with a group usually feel low confidence, lack motivation, and their sense of belonging is low (Holt-Lunstad, 2021). If a person does not have a steady social network, they may isolate themselves and begin to feel inconspicuous or excluded (Hawkley and Cacioppo, 2010). Both forms of loneliness can be stressful in the long term, disrupt sleep and pose mental health risks (CDC, 2024). The fact that each of the forms possesses its different causes and effects leads people to choose the most beneficial support by determining the correct type of it. 

What Helps: Matching Support to the Type of Loneliness

Minimising Emotional Isolation

1. Repair or renew intimate, significant relationships. 
2. Develop emotional intimacy through the use of truthful communication, a shared past or experience, and constant encouragement (de Jong Gierveld and van Tilburg, 2010). 
3. Get counselling or therapy to give expression and salvage relationships following conflict or loss (Maes et al., 2023). 
4. A single, reliable relation can help lessen emotional loneliness, which is likely to provide comfort and understanding. 

Reducing Social Loneliness 

1. Enhance social interaction by using group activities and social gatherings (Gierveld et al., 2018).
2. Become a member of clubs, activities, volunteering or community activities to gain a sense of belonging. 
3. Reunite with old friends or also join work or school teams to feel more included (Holt-Lunstad, 2021). 
4. Expand the social network, make it more supportive, as social loneliness is also associated with the network and the number of people involved. 

Conclusion 

Understanding that there is a distinction between emotional and social loneliness will enable individuals to realise what type of relationship they require. Emotional loneliness involves the loss of a close and trusted association. Social loneliness involves the loss of a bigger community or group to be part of (Weiss, 1973). These two forms can influence well-being, and each is strengthened by various types of support.

Once individuals recognise what kind of type they are going through, they can take more decisive actions to get into healthier relations, to have better belonging and to be better emotionally balanced. This knowledge about such differences allows treating loneliness with less complexity. And reminding us that connection, in its variety, is a significant aspect of human life.

References +

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). The growing problem of loneliness. The Lancet, 391(10119), 426. 

Cacioppo, J. T., Hawkley, L. C., & Thisted, R. A. (2010). Perceived social isolation makes me sad: 5-year cross-lagged analyses of loneliness and depressive symptomatology in older adults. Psychology and Ageing, 25(2), 453–463. 

Centres for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Loneliness and social connection: Public health implications. CDC. 

de Jong Gierveld, J., & van Tilburg, T. (2006). A 6-item scale for overall, emotional, and social loneliness: Confirmatory tests on survey data. Research on Ageing, 28(5), 582–598. 

de Jong Gierveld, J., & van Tilburg, T. (2010). The De Jong Gierveld short scales for emotional and social loneliness: Tested on data from 7 countries in the UN generations and gender surveys. European Journal of Ageing, 7(2), 121–130. 

Gierveld, J. D. J., van Tilburg, T., & Dykstra, P. A. (2018). Loneliness and social isolation. In The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships (pp. 485–500). Cambridge University Press. 

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioural Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. 

Holt-Lunstad, J. (2021). A pandemic of social isolation? Nature Human Behaviour, 5(10), 1330–1331. 

Maes, M., Qualter, P., Vanhalst, J., Van den Noortgate, W., & Goossens, L. (2023). Loneliness in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Journal of Affective Disorders, 328, 1–15. 

National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. (2020). Social isolation and loneliness in older adults: Opportunities for the health care system. The National Academies Press. 

Nicolaisen, M., & Thorsen, K. (2014). Who are lonely? Loneliness in different age groups. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 31(3), 380–400. 

van Tilburg, T. G., Steinmetz, S., Stolte, E., van der Roest, H. G., & de Vries, D. H. (2022). Loneliness and mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic: A study among Dutch adults. Journal of Affective Disorders, 302, 343–352.Weiss, R. S. (1973). Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation. MIT Press.