Masculinity and Emotional Suppression

From a young age, boys are taught to be strong. Not always are they allowed or made to feel safe enough to show emotion. A pressure to fit into society’s designed boxes of masculine expectations. Masculinity has long been associated with emotional suppression. Across cultures and societies, there are various definitions and perceptions of this socio-psychological construct. Masculinity means the beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are often considered appropriate for boys and men. (Levant & Pryor, 2020, p. 3).

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What Is Emotional Suppression?

Emotional suppression is a kind of emotional regulation mechanism. A defence mechanism that helps one deal better with overwhelming and uncomfortable thoughts (Salters-Pedneault, 2019). The reality of this, as well as the notions built around it, can lead to increased stress, anxiety, depression, aggression, and distorted self-perception in males and families. This article explores the link between masculinity and emotional suppression, the factors that contribute to it, as well as the psychological consequences of it.

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Effects of Traditional Masculinity on Mental Health

Toxic Masculinity and Its Psychological Impact

Traditional norms and notions around masculinity, or rather “toxic masculinity” and how men should feel or behave, make them a lot more susceptible and gullible to mental health issues. Research conducted between the years 2000 through 2024 on the same discovered that males are likely to hold a negative connotation towards seeking mental health services and professional help. (Mokhwelepa & Sumbane, 2025).

Culturally Assigned Masculine Traits

Society often attaches characteristic traits like strength, the ability to control tough situations by taking charge, success in earning a living, financial security, and other expectations to masculinity (Möller-Leimkühler, 2009).

The Stigma of Emotional Expression

Society often labels the act of showing any emotion, sadness, emotional expression of any kind, or even crying when feeling overwhelmed or happy, as ‘weak’ or ‘soft’ traits, which it associates more with femininity. Therefore, being able to express emotions is more recognised with femininity and not masculinity ever since.

Mental Health Consequences of Gender Stereotypes

These gender stereotypes and assigned roles and traits often lead to disturbances in mental health, internalised disorders, and finally, emotional suppression for men and even young boys(Martin, 2024).

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Repression of Emotions In The Male Psyche

The Oedipus Complex and Early Masculine Learning

The Oedipus complex in Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of the stages of development is critical. It takes place in the phallic stage. This is when the boy is 3-6 years of age and starts developing pleasurable feelings and sexual desires towards the mother. The child ultimately resolves it by incorporating and inhibiting the father’s values, emotions, and behavior (Saul McLeod, 2024).

Modelling Masculinity from Parental Figures

In the context of masculinity and toxic masculinity, the child may absorb his father’s habits and adopt his views on the mother’s emotions. Femininity as weaker or soft, and masculinity as stronger, for example, can make an impact on the child’s thought process and identity, personality.

Long-Term Effects of Suppressed Role Modelling

If the father tends to suppress his emotions for these reasons, the child may learn that too, and that may continue into the later stages of his life. This leads to emotional overload, stress, depression, and even increased aggression and violence due to suppressed emotions.

“I need to be strong.”- The Hegemonic Masculinity Theory

What is Hegemonic Masculinity?

R.W. Connell proposed this theory in 1987 (Connell, 1987). It explains how social interaction and moulding shape gender, specifically how society shapes masculinity.

Power, Strength, and Social Expectations

It explains the dominance of males over females in terms of power, stability, and strength, and how they are honoured in society. This leads to increased expectations from men to behave or act a certain way again in different communities.

Fear, Suppression, and ‘Man Up’ Culture

The pressure to keep up and fit into these hegemonic standards often leads to fear and sadness being suppressed to “man up” to be seen as tough or strong. Resulting in stress and adherence to this norm over their feelings and wishes to act.

Social Identity and Emotional Inhibition

The concept of self-ascribed identity concerning masculinity explains just the same, where one gives certain attributes of identity to oneself, but here in how society gives it to the definition of masculinity. The family one is brought up in, their openness to the expression of feelings, emotions, and even mental health, can affect a small boy deeply, and his readiness to express emotions. Often, growing up, they suppress them.

Being punished for expressing your emotions

Social Learning Theory and Emotional Modelling

Albert Bandura came up with the Bobo doll experiment, which led to his social learning theory that can be useful in this context. Bandura’s theory aims to understand how observation, attitudes, imitation, and motivation are factors that influence a person’s behavior (MSEd, 2024c).

Learning Suppression from Masculine Role Models

This can be related to the link between masculinity and emotional suppression. Families, societies, and communities portraying femininity as weak and more emotional, while masculinity is portrayed as more strong and powerful, lead to the child learning that emotional suppression is the best way out so as to not let their emotional reaction come off as ‘feminine’ or weak.

Fear of Punishment and Behavioural Conditioning

When a young boy observes that a male figure in his life gets negative treatment or punishment from those around him for expressing emotions, crying, or being softer and vulnerable in any form, the child learns to behave otherwise just to escape that punishment. The boy may imitate what that person does to receive praise in that situation instead. Which then would be to show less emotion, not communicate hurt or fear, and hide it. Here, he may want to act more ‘masculine’.

Emotional Suppression as a Coping Mechanism

Being told not to cry, act stronger, or not fully express feelings can result in suppression as a defence or coping mechanism to regulate emotions.

What Happens When Boys Feel Safe?

Similarly, if he receives praise or has grown up observing males in the family or around him being able to show emotion freely, communicate it, talk about it, and even seek help from professionals or peers when mentally struggling, he may feel safer doing the same. Here, there will be less emotional suppression, leading to more satisfaction and better mental well-being.

Conclusion

To conclude, masculinity is a constantly evolving concept, even in the face of traditional notions and societal boxes. Social influences, like family, friends, and the environment, play a major role in shaping whether emotions are expressed or suppressed. Seeking professional help from mental health practitioners can be beneficial in addressing the anxiety and unmet needs linked to it. Additionally, spreading awareness and offering genuine emotional support can help create safer spaces where everyone feels free to express and communicate. With compassion, consistency, and better emotional education, we can collectively begin to unlearn harmful norms and rebuild healthier ways of being.

FAQs

1. Can emotional suppression in men be synonymous with emotional labour?

Men often feel the burden of following and fitting into the societal boxes of how a man should behave and feel, and this can cause stress. In a way, this is a form of emotional labour that gets no reward either. It also leads to hypervigilance, which can lead to overstimulation.

2. How can one make this better?

Spreading more awareness about the emotional challenges linked to masculinity is a good first step. Encouraging open conversations, whether at home, in schools, or on social platforms, can help break down stigma. Seeking help when needed, such as through therapy or counselling, can offer tools to better understand and regulate emotions. Creating safe, judgment-free environments where people, especially boys and men, feel seen, heard, and supported can make a lasting difference.

3. Why do men often find it difficult to express their emotions openly?

From a young age, boys are conditioned by societal norms to associate emotional expression with weakness or femininity. Influences like traditional masculinity, family modelling, and social punishment for vulnerability teach boys to suppress emotions to appear “strong” or “masculine.” Over time, this becomes internalised, making emotional expression difficult even in adulthood.

4. How does emotional suppression impact men’s mental health?

Suppressing emotions can lead to internalised distress, which may manifest as anxiety, depression, aggression, or emotional burnout. Men who feel pressured to “man up” may ignore their psychological needs, making them less likely to seek help or communicate their struggles, further worsening their mental well-being.