If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow; Chinese proverb. A person’s automatic response to life events is termed a natural emotion. These include the feelings of love, fear, grief, and envy. Such emotions are very different from the manufactured ones, which are created by a person’s thoughts or even by the different interpretations of events and circumstances taking place in their life. People need to express their emotions for good mental health care. However, emotions are not limited to positive feelings only.
They hold space for the other ones as well: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, shame. It’s okay to feel them; it’s completely normal, there’s nothing wrong with them. In this essay, we will talk about’’anger’’in particular. Anger is an intense emotional state that occurs when a person does not like something that has happened or someone who causes them harm. It arises from grief, typically, and the feeling of being in pain of any particular kind.
Physical effects of anger
Increased heart rate, sudden pain in the head, tension in muscles like the tightening of jaws and clenching of fists. Many people also experience sweating in anger. The physical changes also include rising blood pressure and stress levels. Even changes in body language and facial expressions of a person are also noted. It’s a kind of emotional state that has been experienced by every person at different times. However, the way a person reacts in anger is what makes all the difference in a person’s characteristics!
Anger is a crucial emotion as it’s important for an individual’s survival. On the other hand, an uncontrolled state of anger can have negative effects on people’s personal and social well-being. This could produce deleterious health effects not only on a single person but also on people around them.
How do negative emotions impact family and relationships?
Uncontrolled negative emotions, anger specifically, among all the other ones, is often seen as a wildfire in families. It has the capacity to destroy trust, the feelings of intimacy, and many other extremely essential factors like communication. Anger is a major cause that leads people towards feelings of fear, resentment and emotional, verbal or even the worst forms of physical abuse. Fights between relations lead to the creation of instability, even a highly tense environment. This, in a way, forces your loved ones to walk on eggshells, especially children. The results of uncontrolled anger are drastic, such as emotional distancing, separation, or, in children, deep-seated emotional development, even behavioural issues.
- Erosion of trust and a sense of security
- Creates toxicity
- Communication barriers
- Long-term effects on children
- Impacts on physical and mental health
Read More: Yoga and Meditation Practitioners Deal with Negative Emotions More Effectively
The four main stages of anger
1. Annoyed
The first and foremost stage of anger where the emotions are starting to build up. It’s an initial stage where something triggers and irritates an individual. This irritation later takes the form of an aggressive state. This aggression is mainly caused by the generation of pain, which could be caused by various reasons, such as feeling injustice, threat, or even stress, which could play a major role. All these combine and lead to physical reactions like fast breathing or muscle tensions, etc.
2. Frustration
The second stage of anger is generally recognised as the feeling of frustration. The little annoyance that’s felt in the first phase takes an intense form here. Heightened feelings and deep emotions are felt both physically and mentally. The increase of agitation during this phase needs active conscious management, which could help in preventing anger from reaching a peak point.
3. Hostile
The third stage of anger is identified as hostility. This stage is typically marked by a shift from feelings of being unhappy and sad about something towards negative ideas. Like planning to cause harm to someone in any way possible. It’s a total shift in behaviours. It usually involves argumentative behaviours, sarcasm, criticism, and being defensive. This stage evolves from pent-up frustration.
Read More: Impact of Hostile Parenting on a Child’s Mental Health
4. Enraged
It’s an extremely overwhelming and uncontrollable state of emotions. The ability of a person to think clearly about something is lost somewhere along the way before a person reaches this state. Enrage witnesses physical aggression, screaming, yelling and throwing objects or verbal threats. Rage occurs when a person is violated and ignored by other people.
Ways to control anger
1. Seeking help from professionals
Seeking help from a reliable person. Talking to someone you trust about all of the problems that concern you. The kind of person who can present a different perspective in front of you and work through your feelings can help a lot in controlling anger.
2. Active pauses of 10 seconds
Following the 10-second rule is a significant step that people can follow in controlling their feelings of anger. This works by distributing the automatic and emotional responses of people and providing them time to think and process from a cool mind. A ten-second pause can help by giving your body a moment to start reducing tension.
3. Developing empathy
Active listening to another person without being judgmental, thinking from another person’s perspective by steping in someone else’s shoes are ways to develop empathy! A feeling that makes you feel the pain of other living beings.
4. Deep breathing and Regular exercise
Deep breathing interrupts the body’s fight to fight response this helps in reducing the feelings of stress and anger. Slow and deep breathing helps in reducing the body’s heart rate and high blood pressure. Regular exercise provides people with a kind of physical outlet to release tension, which automatically helps in reducing anger. This also promotes relaxation and the feelings of being calm and happy as well.
Read More: Breathing Techniques for Stress Relief and Emotional Balance
5. Distraction hobby and Journal
Engaging in a hobby like painting, cooking, sports and singing or any other kind reduces the state of anger. They manage the stress levels of people and provide them with something to be constructive upon. Writing down your daily events in a diary is the best way to reduce stress and anger. It’s a very effective way to calm a person down. It works because it provides people with a space where they can freely process their emotions. Not just for the reduction of anger, but journals can also provide a space to get clarity in your life. Writing your problems down solves half the tension.
Read More: How to Control Anger in Critical Situations?
Conclusion
There’s a popular saying about anger by Joan Lunden that properly fits with the conclusion. ‘’Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives a person tense muscles, a headache, and a sore jaw from clenching teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in life’’. Anger only destroys a person’s family life. Difficult situations should be handled with a calm mind.
References +
Psychology today Psychologytoday.com ‘’The cycle of anger in relationships’’.
Selectpsychology.co.uk Select psychology ‘’ understanding the four stages of anger’’.
For the family forthefamily.org ‘’ break the cycle of anger’’ 4-Armstrong family counselling armstrongfamilycounseling.com
‘’Anger and relationships – How unmanaged anger impacts loved ones’’.
’Understanding anger’, family life centre familylifecenter.com
Leave feedback about this