Why Emotionally Intelligent People Succeed More, According to Psychology 

EQ, A Power We Don’t Know About 

Success today is not so much about degrees or knowing the right equations. It’s coping with complexity, relationships, managing yourself in high-pressure situations, and people and more importantly, that quiet yet mighty force that makes you do all of these is emotional intelligence. What was once a “soft skill” has become an undisputed asset in leadership, team building, relationships, and even mental well-being. Researchers and psychologists vouch that it tends to be more valuable than our old pal, traditional intelligence—our IQ—particularly for long-term success. Being emotionally intelligent isn’t just useful—it might be the most important skill you ever develop. This article examines what exactly emotional intelligence is, exploring whether it is comparable to IQ, how it manifests itself in everyday life, and why it might just be the most important type of intelligence you acquire. 

Emotional intelligence is possessing the ability to identify, comprehend, and manage emotions—not your own emotions, but the emotions of people around you. It’s between response and reaction. It’s observing how your timing, tone, and body language can shift a conversation. Terminology first coined by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer back in 1990 mainstreamed to the masses by Daniel Goleman in the mid-1990s, EQ is now considered one of the most critical competencies in professional and personal life.

Goleman lists five major emotional intelligence areas: 

• Self-awareness – Learning about your feelings and how they affect your thoughts and actions.
• Self-regulation – Regulation of emotional impulses and remaining calm under pressure.
• Motivation – Channeling feelings to achieve things with enthusiasm and drive.
• Empathy – Possessing the capacity to know other people’s feelings and react correspondingly.
• Social skills – Creating and sustaining healthy relationships, and coping with social nuances. 

Whereas IQ will generally be steady throughout a human life, EQ can enhance with age, experience, and mindful exercise. 

Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Resolution 

Conflict is inevitable in every field – whether at work, at home, or within ourselves. The difference between a destructive conflict and a constructive one is not whether it happens, but how one handles it. This is where emotional intelligence takes over. Emotionally intelligent people don’t avoid conflict—they engage it knowingly. Instead of being ego- or defence-motivated, they are interested in clarifying and understanding one another. They engage in conflicts not as a war to “win” but as an opportunity to align with one another, heal relationships, and grow. 

Suppose that there are two members of a team in disagreement about the way to tackle a project. Someone low in EQ would likely ratchet up the pressure with sarcasm or close down altogether. But someone high in EQ would instead say, “I feel stuck, but I want to understand where you’re coming from,” or “What’s most important to you in this choice?” 

This kind of emotionally intelligent dialogue de-escalates the emotional temperature and creates space for resolution. Empathy is crucial—a concession of the other person’s experience, even if you oppose their view, creates psychological safety. Highly collective EQ teams are better at resolving conflict and are more effective in the long run, research shows (Druskat & Wolff, 2001). Even in relationships, conflict resolved with emotional intelligence enhances trust and improves intimacy. 

Conflict doesn’t have to tear people apart. With EQ, it can be a path to greater connection. 

Emotional Intelligence and Decision-Making 

Another overlooked arena where emotional intelligence is a huge factor is decision-making. Popular wisdom associates sound decisions with reason, rationality, and detachment. However, in actuality, emotions are involved in every decision, whether you know it or not. Those with high emotional intelligence don’t allow emotions to cloud their judgment, but they don’t disregard them, either. They incorporate emotional awareness into the equation. So, for instance, someone who’s changing careers will apply logic to evaluating job offers but also look at how each situation squares with their values, stress tolerance, and sense of satisfaction. 

EQ makes you ask: 

• “What am I feeling about this choice?” 
• “Is fear motivating this choice?” 
• “Am I excited—or just trying to avoid discomfort?” 
• “What does my gut say, and can I trust it right now?” 

Emotional awareness allows you to differentiate between a momentary mood and an underlying intuition. It also allows you to know when your choices may be reactive (such as quitting a job after a bad day) versus reflective (such as leaving a poisonous environment after several conversations and introspection). Additionally, emotionally intelligent individuals are more receptive to feedback and other perspectives. This creates more balanced, expansive decision-making—whether in leadership, finance, or relationships. Essentially, EQ doesn’t supplant logic; it anchors it in emotional awareness. When you have the ability to see the emotional undertow beneath a decision, you make decisions that are not just intelligent but sustainable and rewarding.

EQ vs IQ: Why Book Smarts Aren’t Enough

Let’s put the elephant in the room: Isn’t IQ still more important? Schools administer us to measure it, and job seekers take heed that employers care about grades. Yes—IQ is invaluable, especially in fields where an analytical mind or technical expertise is needed. But it only shows half the picture. High IQ can enable you to figure out abstract issues, but EQ is how well you figure out people’s problems. And those are the ones you’re facing daily—whether it’s diffusing anger with a co-worker, staying calm amid high-level conflict, or helping a friend in need. 

Studies have determined that emotional intelligence accounts for 58% of work performance (Bradberry & Greaves, 2009). Furthermore, 90% of successful high performers in the workplace have high emotional intelligence. On the other hand, individuals with high IQ but low EQ might find it difficult to manage stress or setbacks 

• Adapting to change 
• Reading social cues 
• Maintaining healthy relationships 
• Accepting feedback or criticism 

In short, IQ may open the door, but EQ keeps you in the room. 

Behaviours of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals 

So, just what does emotional intelligence look like in real life? These are the observable behaviours and habits that emotionally intelligent individuals usually manifest: 

1. They Take a Moment Before They Answer: Instead of responding on impulse, they inhale and ponder the emotional climate of the situation.
2. They Are Attuned to Their Triggers: They know the type of situations that tend to trigger them, and they have mechanisms to keep themselves centred. 
3. They’re Curious, Not Judgmental: High-EQ people treat others with a spirit of curiosity and empathy, querying instead of assuming. 
4. They Handle Criticism Gracefully: Rather than getting defensive, they ponder. “What’s true in this criticism? What can I learn?” 
5. They Lift Others Up: They’re liberal with encouragement and support, frequently defusing tension with humour or generosity. 
6. They Apologise When They’re Wrong: They do not allow pride to get in the way of repairing relationships. 

These are not merely pleasant behaviours—these are powerful skills that cause others to feel noticed, heard, and valued. 

EQ at Work: The Game Changer 

Now let’s discuss where EQ truly excels: in today’s workplace.

No matter whether you are in a start-up, teaching, leading teams, or freelancing, people skills are your true currency. Doing your job is one thing; getting on with others is what gets you promoted, trusted, and remembered. This is how EQ appears at work: 

• Leadership: High-EQ leaders inspire, rather than intimidate. They inspire through empathy, grasp what motivates each member of the team, and create psychological safety. 
• Teamwork: Individuals with EQ work more effectively in teams. They listen, appreciate a range of perspectives, and resolve conflict without taking it personally. 
• Communication: They tailor their communication to their audience, can read the room, and know how and when to speak—and when to remain silent. 
• Decision-Making: Far from myth, emotion contributes to good decision-making when well managed. EQ enables individuals to merge logic with gut feeling. 
• Adaptability: As goals evolve, emotionally intelligent individuals adapt too. They don’t panic—instead, they pivot. 

In a LinkedIn survey of hiring managers, 92% scored soft skills, such as EQ, higher than hard skills. Why? Because anyone can learn a new software, but not everyone can get along with people in a bad meeting. 

EQ at Home: The Emotional Architecture of Relationships 

We tend to think of EQ in the workplace, but it’s even more necessary in our relationships. Emotionally intelligent individuals are more likely to: 

• Build stronger relationships 
• Have fewer arguments 
• Recover more quickly from emotional setbacks 
• Raising emotionally smart children 

In relationships, EQ manifests as:

• Listening without interrupting 
• Speaking clearly of needs 
• Disagreeing respectfully 
• Providing emotional support in hard times 

With parenting, high EQ enables you to acknowledge your child’s feelings, demonstrate emotional self-regulation, and model conflict resolution. Emotionally intelligent families connect on a foundation of respect, communication, and understanding, rather than control or emotional cutoff. In friendships, EQ is the difference between small talk and a safe, enduring connection. 

EQ and Mental Health 

There’s another frequently overlooked advantage of emotional intelligence: it defends your mental well-being. 

• Individuals with strong EQ are more likely to: 
• Identify warning signs of anxiety or burnout
• Express themselves instead of bottling up emotions 
• Seek help when they need it 
• Manage stress using healthier coping mechanisms 

A Personality and Individual Differences study (2014) discovered that high emotional intelligence was associated with decreased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why? Because if we know our emotions, we’re less controlled by them. And EQ isn’t a panacea for mental illness, no. It is, however, an effective buffer. It makes you stronger and more likely to get help when you need it. 

EQ in Education and Early Development 

Can kids learn emotional intelligence? Yes. 

Schools that integrate social-emotional learning (SEL) assist students: 

• Settle disagreements peacefully 
• Become empathetic
• Communicate effectively 
• Function well in groups 

Research indicates that students who are taught through SEL programs achieve better academically, display better behaviour, and are emotionally more stable (CASEL, 2020). 

Parents and teachers can model EQ by: 

• Labelling their own emotions 
• Encouraging open emotional expression 
• Assisting children in identifying their feelings 
• Reinforcing kindness, not only achievement 

Teaching emotional literacy early can avoid emotional illiteracy later on—a source of many adults’ problems. 

Cultural Perceptions of EQ 

Various cultures feel and deal with emotions in unique ways, making EQ not a one-size-fits-all concept. In certain Eastern cultures, for example, restraint of emotion is preferred to expression. In Western societies, vulnerability and openness are more valued. Both can be emotionally intelligent if done carefully. Being aware of cultural differences is part of global emotional intelligence—the capacity to understand emotional signals in various settings. It becomes particularly important in international business, diplomacy, migration studies, and multicultural workplaces. 

How to Reflect and Build EQ 

EQ is not either-or. It is a cluster of habits and reflections that can be acquired, practised, and honed over time. 

Here’s how: 

1. Name Your Emotions: It’s hard for many to distinguish between anger, disappointment, or fear. Utilize instruments such as an “emotion wheel” to expand your vocabulary of emotions. 
2. Keep an Emotional Journal: At the end of each day, write down what you felt, why, and what caused it. Patterns will eventually be seen. 
3. Request Sincere Feedback: What is it like to be with you when you’re stressed? How do people feel about your communication? This is brave, but it’s growth gold. 
4. Practice “The Pause”: When emotions are high, count to five before you answer. This little trick moves you from reaction to intention. 
5. Intentional Empathise: In a conflict, attempt to identify the other person’s feelings first. “It sounds like you felt disrespected when I did not respond.” 
6. Create Emotional Boundaries: Being an empath doesn’t mean you must be a doormat. High EQ involves saying “no” graciously and assertively. 
7. Practice Mindfulness Exercises: Meditation, yoga, or even just breathing exercises keep you in the present and thwart emotional hijacking.

Weeks and months later, these tiny tweaks result in giant changes. 

Why Real-Life Experience > Textbook Smarts 

You can’t learn emotional intelligence from lectures. It’s not memorising definitions. It’s learning to confront the tough stuff: 

• Apologising even when it’s hard. 
• Listening instead of defending yourself. 
• Staying with sadness instead of running from it. 
• Asking for help instead of faking it. 

These are the lessons we learn from failure, loss, or exposure—not books. And that’s what makes EQ a very human quality. It develops in the field of life, not on the edges of your notebook. 

How EQ Sets You Up for Lifelong Success 

Let’s connect the dots. 

People with EQ are more successful because they: 

• Create stronger relationships
• Transition more effectively into change 
• Lead with empathy and trust 
• Deal with stress rather than being controlled by it 
• Keep motivated over challenges 
• Think and learn from criticism 

In relationships, they build intimacy. In teams, they build teamwork. In crises, they stay anchored. And in life? They flourish. EQ won’t get you a medal every time—but it will get you something even more enduring: respect, calm, trust, and satisfaction. 

FAQs 

1. Is emotional intelligence inherited or acquired? 

Though some elements of temperament are genetic, emotional intelligence is learned and cultivated through conscious awareness and effort over time. 

2. Can EQ supplant IQ?

No—neither should be used as a substitute. Both are valuable. But for success in people skills and emotions, EQ generally trumps conventional intelligence. 

3. How do I know if I’m emotionally intelligent? 

Self-awareness is just the beginning. Do you take feedback well? Can you label your emotions? Can other people trust you with their vulnerability? These are indications you’re moving in the right direction