Have you ever been in a room full of people right after receiving some news which has sent your thoughts into a complete disarray, and yet, not one person in the room could guess what you were experiencing? A moment when your internal state was in complete shambles, but a smile still graced your face because that was the only way to cope? It’s commonly known as ‘putting on a brave face ’- an example of Forced Optimism and adopting an optimistic viewpoint for life. And while smiling through one’s struggles might be celebrated in society as an act of courage, it rarely helps address the storm of emotions that one may experience internally.
Read More: Toxic Positivity : When Optimism Becomes Harmful
What is Forced Optimism?
Making oneself act emotionally resilient and put on a smile, even while facing struggles, is often an act of forced optimism. Also known as toxic positivity, it is the act of suppressing one’s negative emotions and experiences by maintaining a relentlessly positive attitude, especially in situations where it is not genuine or appropriate (Cherry, 2024). It adopts a viewpoint that negative emotions are supposed to be ignored, convincing an individual to suppress their emotions and ignore reality.
It differs from optimism, which involves a balanced perspective towards reality, and rather instils an unhealthy pressure to always put on a brave face and be happy, regardless of circumstances (Licsw, 2021). This compulsion to remain happy is not a sign of resilience but an approach which denies pain and makes it harder to process and deal with an individual’s struggles.
Read More: Optimism Bias: Why We Ignore Risks and Overestimate Success
Society’s Obsession with Positivity
The philosophical concept of optimism given by Gottfried Leibniz adopts a “the best of all possible worlds” outlook towards life (The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 2018). It allows an individual to express emotions while adopting a generally positive outlook. While this concept helps foster feelings of hope and sustains an individual through challenges, it also makes room for an emotional reaction when the anticipated positive outcomes are not achieved.
Unfortunately, in the attempt to actualise one’s goals, society as a whole started to adopt the ideology that one must remain positive, regardless of the circumstances. This thwarted approach towards optimism has allowed toxicity to breed, which can take the form of statements such as:
- “Just be happy!”
- “Focus on the bright side”
- “It could be worse”
- “Don’t be so negative”
- “Happiness is a choice”
- “Others have it worse”
- “Everything happens for a reason”
- “There is always a silver lining”
- “Good vibes only”
- “Just ignore the negativity, focus on the positive”
One may find it astonishing to realise that these phrases, which are often a part of daily conversation in a variety of settings, do not instil optimism, but rather force an individual to adopt toxic positivity. Despite the well-intentioned use of such phrases, it leaves little space for an individual struggling to express their emotions, feel reassured or even validated. It may even minimise they are feelings and put pressure on them to hide their struggles, suggesting that feeling anything other than happy, even in such difficult situations, is wrong (Monteux, 2024).
Read More: The Feeling of Positivity: How Can it Change You?
The Burden of Forced Optimism
The relentless pursuit of positivity places immense pressure on an individual. Especially when toxic optimism is adopted as a coping mechanism, it can place a significant physical, psychological, and emotional toll on an individual, allowing the surface of a constant smile to leave pain unacknowledged. Some of the impacts of forced optimism are:
1. Emotional Suppression
Since emotions are an important part of life, emotional regulation will affect one’s ability to adapt to their surroundings. However, forced optimism will promote suppressing one’s negative emotions, which can have a detrimental impact on an individual. Emotional suppression can lead to adverse psychological impact, such as increased anxiety and depression (Compare et al., 2014). In the long run, it can also exacerbate negative emotions and decrease the experience of positive emotions (Srivastava et al., 2009). Studies also suggest that suppressing emotions can lead to memory distortions and difficulties in recalling information (Katsumi & Dolcos, 2018).
2. Internalised Guilt and Shame
Toxic positivity can lead to feelings of shame by suggesting that negative emotions are unacceptable. This belief can worsen an individual suffering in difficult situations because they will feel guilt for experiencing these negative emotions in the first place. Instead of helping an individual realise that these emotions are valid in accordance with their situation, an individual will begin to believe that they are doing something wrong and must fix themselves. They may also begin to believe that they are weak for not maintaining a general persona of positivity, or maybe dramatic the struggle. In totality and individuals will begin to avoid seeking help due to the fear of being judged and allow their negative emotions to prevail while internally shaming themselves for it (Cherry, 2024).
Read More: 5 tips to develop body Positivity
3. Avoidance of Authenticity
When toxic positivity turns into a coping mechanism in the face of difficult situations, it also serves as a mechanism to avoid authenticity. Choosing to believe in optimism while ignoring internal states allows an individual to dismiss their emotions and subscribe to delusions, which are not supported by reality (Insights Psychology, 2025). They may even begin to avoid situations which lead to negative emotions rather than face them.
4. Disconnection from the world
Healthy social bonds and connections are formed when individuals express their feelings and are heard and validated. However, if an individual adopts forced optimism, they will simply not be able to accept negative emotions and hence will not express these emotions either. It will create a gap between how an individual feels and how they present themselves. This dissonance between an individual’s real self and presenting self will allow feelings of emotional isolation to develop. They will also have difficulty in forming healthy social connections because they are true feelings, which remain unexpressed, are not heard, validated or even reassured by their peers (Cherry, 2024).
5. Thwarted Healing
Healing is fostered when an individual is honest and vulnerable with themselves. However, toxic positivity makes it very difficult for an individual to achieve that, making them stuck in a loop of failure, suppression, and ignorance. This not only delays healing, but also thwarts support-seeking behaviour. It denies an individual the ability to face challenging feelings, allowing pain to go unaddressed, but grow silently. An individual might believe that they are being resilient in the face of difficult situations, but in reality, they are stunting their growth and ruining their resilience (Cherry, 2024).
6. Burnout
Always smiling in difficult situations and maintaining a cheerful persona will require significant emotional effort. Especially in a variety of settings, where it is expected of you to remain positive in the face of challenging situations. This herculean effort will amount to emotional fatigue and eventual burnout. Not only will it ruin an individual’s ability to face situations, but also decrease their ability to experience positive emotions, only adding to this exhaustion.
7. Stigmatisation of Negative Emotions
In a society which values positive emotions more than negative emotions, toxic positivity will stigmatise any response which is not full of optimism. It will reinforce the stigma around mental health and contribute to harmful narratives, which believe that mental health struggles are attention-seeking and that an individual can simply choose to be happy. The efforts of the mental health industry will be completely negated in the face of toxic positivity, making it harder for individuals to seek help without fear of being judged or being dismissed.
Read More: The Psychology of Everyday Joy: Micro-Moments and Subjective Well-Being in Positive Psychology
How to Avoid Toxic Positivity?
As individuals in a society that forces optimism, several actions can be taken to avoid or mitigate its impact.
1. Validate Emotions
Instead of minimising an individuals, emotions, efforts can be taken to validate them. It will help the experience of negative emotions, easier as an individual will feel heard and supported without shame. Instead of telling an individual to be positive, when faced with negative emotions, Efforts can be taken to show compassion and even understand their emotions.
E.g.: “That sounds very difficult. I understand why you feel that way.”
2. Experience Negative Emotions
Allowing oneself to experience a full range of emotions, which includes negative emotions, such as sadness, fatigue, anger, and disappointment, will foster healing. It will also help an individual gain a better understanding of themselves and their emotional reactions, gaining control over their emotions. This type of honesty and vulnerability that an individual shows themselves can promote healing and open the doors to growth.
E.g.: “I feel sad and that’s okay.”
3. Active Listening
Actively listening to another individual, being open, honest, and vulnerable about their emotional challenges, can help an individual be more supportive. It involves listening to an individual’s struggles, gaining clarity, and then offering support that aligns with them. It will also help to avoid jumping in with silver linings or comparing.
4. Open Communication
Fostering open communication is one of the most important steps towards creating an emotionally safe environment, which validates both positive and negative emotions. Open communication creates space for expression with vulnerability and does not force an individual to slap on a smile regardless of circumstances. Especially communication without judgement will help an individual face their feelings without internalised shame and guilt.
5. Seek Professional Help
When social support fails to offer an individual the amount of help they need, especially in the face of toxic positivity cultures. It is important to seek professional help. Normalisation of therapy will help an individual regulate their emotions and seek help without feeling judged for it.
Conclusion
In a world that values smiles in difficult situations over authentic reactions, it can be very easy to fall into the traps of forced optimism where happiness is a demand. However, what society fails to understand is that performative happiness is just a performance. It does not make the pain inside disappear. True resilience is not about positivity, but rather having the courage to sit down with discomfort, seek help and even allow oneself to experience the full range of human emotions. The goal of optimism is not to always be happy but to foster resilience and create spaces where vulnerability does not equal weakness. Challenging toxic positivity and embracing authenticity of emotions, society can take a step towards building a more compassionate world, where one does not have to smile through stigma.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. How do I know if I am forcing optimism?
To understand if an individual is practising healthy optimism or forcing optimism on themselves, it is important to be emotionally vulnerable. Introspection into an individuals, feelings, judgement process of acknowledgement, and more will reveal their relationship with optimism. Another way of understanding their relationship with optimism and individual can observe how they deal with negative emotions and uncomfortable situations.
2. Does social media contribute to forced optimism?
Yes. Social media does contribute to forced optimism as it rewards performative positivity. #GoodVibes, motivational quotes, and curated carousel of one’s happiest moments are celebrated while expressions of vulnerability are trolled on social media. This not only leads to filtration of one’s life to fit social media standards, but can also lead to comparison and shame of one’s own struggles.
3. Why do people use optimism as a coping mechanism?
Smiling in difficult situations is considered to be an act of resilience, courage, and even once brave attitude. It is expected by society for an individual to be happy, even in the most challenging situations. Cultural norms also discourage emotional expression and vulnerability. Along with that, the fear of judgement or rejection from society exacerbates the need to engage enforced optimism as a coping mechanism.
4. Is forced optimism the same as denial?
No. Denial is an unconscious defence mechanism where an individual refuses to acknowledge the reality of the situation. However, forced optimism is a conscious or socially conditioned behaviour where individuals will mask their real emotions to appear fine.
References +
Cherry, K. C. (2024, May 14). Why Toxic Positivity Can Be Harmful. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958
Compare, A., Zarbo, C., Shonin, E., Van Gordon, W., & Marconi, C. (2014). Emotional Regulation and Depression: A Potential Mediator between Heart and Mind. Cardiovascular Psychiatry and Neurology, 2014, 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/324374
Insights Psychology. (2025, January 28). Toxic Positivity Exposed: Harmful Effects of Optimism. https://insightspsychology.org/the-dark-side-of-toxic-positivity/
Katsumi, Y., & Dolcos, S. (2018). Suppress to feel and remember less: Neural correlates of explicit and implicit emotional suppression on perception and memory. Neuropsychologia, 145, 106683. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2018.02.010
Licsw, K. L. E. (2021, February 9). Oversimplified solutions and motivational pressure can exacerbate trauma. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rethink-your-way-the-good-life/202102/the-difference-between-hopeful-optimism-and-toxic
Monteux, R. (2024, November 18). The Cult of Positivity – Rove Monteux – Medium. Medium. https://medium.com/@rove.monteux/the-cult-of-positivity-c1fbc0f32a93
The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica. (2018, May 15). Optimism | Definition & Origin. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/topic/optimism
