Peer Connections and the Psychology of Belonging in Youth

When an adolescent steps into school, they are faced with maths, science, history, literature, and more, which aim to help them navigate the rest of their academic and career-based endeavours. However, this curriculum doesn’t prepare them to navigate the tempestuous waters of social survival, the unspoken test of the youth. Every class, project, lunch, and party is a trial of acceptance, identity formation, connection, and social development. The need to belong, especially for adolescents and young adults, is an unshakable force that drives friendships, social identity, and anxiety. 

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What are peer relationships?

Peer relationships refer to the connections and interactions that adolescents have with their friends and peers, especially individuals of similar standing, age, background or social status (Wills, 2001). These go beyond interactions with family and relatives, encompassing how an individual interacts with other non-kin members. 

Why are Peer Connections a Psychological Necessity?

Erikson’s Theory: Social Development as a stage of growth

Psychologist Erik Erikson, in his theory of psychosocial development, posited that the youth face the trial of  “Identity vs Identity confusion” followed by “Intimacy vs. Isolation” (Orenstein & Lewis, 2022). At the core of both these stages lies an important factor: Social Development. This form of development is fostered through interactions and experiences with family, peers and the broader community and remains a vital necessity in the road to adulthood.

Not only are peer connections vital for appropriate social development, it impact a wide variety of other factors, such as: 

1. Mirror of Self-Discovery

Aligning oneself with peers or peer groups suggests that one identifies with the values and beliefs of the peer group, and it can play a vital role in how youth view themselves. With the acceptance, support and rejection received from one’s peers, one gains knowledge of behaviours that are accepted or unacceptable, which indirectly shapes one’s understanding of oneself. A meta-analysis of more than two decades of research spanning multiple age groups suggested that positive social relationships, support, and acceptance help shape the development of self-esteem (Harris & Orth, 2019). 

2. Human Need for Belonging

Abraham Maslow, in his theory of the hierarchy of needs, suggested that the motivational factors comprise five tiers of human needs, which lead to human behaviour (McLeod, 2025). At the third tier, beyond the physical needs and safety, lies the basic need for love and belongingness, which can be fostered through both romantic and platonic relationships. This theory is only one among many that suggest the importance of social connection, even as a tool of survival.

3. Training Ground for Life Skills

Many developmental theories suggest that while social connections take many forms, peer connections and friendships are the first types of bonds individuals form. These bonds can help understand important life skills, such as communication, empathy, conflict resolution, negotiation, and emotional regulation, among many more, to help navigate not only friendship but any other types of bonds that may arise later. Simultaneously learning how to navigate friendships and receive support from one’s peers can help an individual not only feel better about themselves, but also prepare them for future, professional and personal relationships (Güroğlu, 2022).

4. Emotional Regulation

Studies suggest that communication or interaction between friends helps an individual affiliate with others, especially in emotional situations (Wagner et al., 2014). The innate human tendency to form friendships, especially in emotional situations, is considered to be a critical mechanism that is positive and contributes to the regulation of one’s emotions (Wagner et al., 2014). Especially for youth, the ability to share emotional experiences, receive validation, and be understood by their friends can help them manage their emotions effectively and foster resilience (Van Harmelen et al., 2017). 

Hurdles to Peer Connections in Youth

A plethora of literature suggests that peer connections are crucial for development and that a sense of belonging can motivate a wide variety of behaviours among the youth. However, forming meaningful peer connections can pose itself to be a trial of its own where many individuals may not succeed. Several internal and external factors can act as obstacles to forming helpful friendships, including:

1. Social Exclusion:

Social exclusion is a harsh reality of trying to put oneself out there and gain real peer connections. It is essentially the experience of being intentionally or unintentionally left out of social interactions, group dynamics or activities by one’s friends and can be a form of bullying (Pattemore, 2022). People usually carry out social exclusion by not inviting others to hang out, leaving them out of group chats, and talking negatively about them in their absence. This can have a detrimental impact on a youth, emotional well-being and self-esteem (Mulvey et al., n.d.).

ALSO READ: Boosting Self-Esteem in Teenagers

2. Sociocultural Differences:

At the very basis of friendships lies a certain degree of similarity, whether it is in personality or lived experiences. However, when individuals come from minority cultural, racial or religious backgrounds, they may struggle to find peers who understand or relate to their experiences (Williams & Johnson, 2010). The presence of social evils such as prejudice, stereotyping, and discrimination only further makes it more difficult for youth to feel accepted by those individuals who differ from their social and cultural identity.

ALSO READ: Vygotsky’s Sociocultural Theory

3. Difficulty in communicating:

Adolescents who suffer from conditions that impair their ability to communicate will find it difficult to be understood by their peers. Especially for individuals with neurodevelopmental disabilities, it has been witnessed that forming friendships, especially with neurotypical peers, is considered to be more difficult than usual (Williams & Johnson, 2010). Despite the innate desire to be accepted and included by one’s peers, adolescents with neurodevelopmental conditions will face difficulties with understanding social cues, communication, and even emotional reciprocity.

4. Virtual Connection:

People promote social media as a novel way to connect, one that helps individuals across the globe form deeper emotional bonds in a digital world. However, these new forms of connection have introduced significant challenges to authentic belonging and friendship. The impact of social media and online connections in a negative way on real-life friendships is a highly discussed topic. Not only has social media altered the very definition of friendship today, but factors such as comparison, fear of missing out, cyberbullying and more, which have risen due to social media, also pose threats to the formation of meaningful peer connections.

How can Peer Connections be Fostered?

While true peer connections can’t be forced, individuals can take intentional steps to make it easier to build friendships and meaningful bonds. Adolescents can take these steps themselves, or parents, educators, and caregivers who recognise the value of peer relationships can actively support them in the process. Some steps include: 

1. Encouraging social activity, especially in areas of interest for the adolescent, which can include clubs, groups or other extracurricular activities. 
2. Inculcating better conversation skills, even to make small talk. 
3. Building better listening habits that display genuine interest in what others have to say. 
4. Learning and practising empathy, which helps an individual put themselves in another’s shoes and understand their perspective. 
5. Practising commitment to being oneself to attract genuine and authentic friendships. 
6. Using technology positively without letting real-world connections depreciate in value. 
7. Modelling healthy relationships and integrating those learnings into one’s endeavours.

ALSO READ: Importance of Friendships and Their Impact on Mental Health

Conclusion

The need to belong is extremely prevalent among the youth and is one of the most important factors that lead to the establishment of healthy peer connections. While literature has understood the importance of friendships in mental, emotional, neural and social development, it is important for the masses to help foster these connections as well. Today, friendships are not only a mechanism for survival but a psychological necessity, which helps raise emotionally intelligent, well-rounded adults.

ALSO READ: The Psychology Behind Long-Lasting Friendships

FAQs

1. What are some signs that a young person is struggling to form peer connections?

Not all individuals can form connections are their first go, and some may even struggle persistently. Caregivers must look out for behaviours which include social withdrawal, reluctance to go to group activities or school, changes in mood and even intrusive thoughts conveyed as normal comments. These may indicate feelings of exclusion or loneliness. 

2. How can a lack of peer connections impact a young individual? 

Literature has established the importance of friendships, especially for young individuals, but a lack of peer connections can be extremely detrimental to development. Prolonged feelings of social isolation or exclusion can lead to the development of multiple mental disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and even impact an individual’s self-concept.

3. Can introverts still have friends? 

Introversion is essentially a personality trait, which is characterised by a preference for solitude rather than focusing on external social interactions. However, this does not mean that introverts are individuals who do not need friendships or will find it difficult to form friendships. It simply means that they prefer smaller groups or one-on-one friendships, which foster deeper and meaningful connections rather than big group settings. 

4. Do all peer groups have a positive influence?

While one hopes that their peer groups have a positive influence, not all peer groups end up positively impacting one’s life. Peer pressure and negative peer influence are a common reality, especially among the youth.