Dealing with relationships can be quite difficult at times. Each relationship is unique, and often we find ourselves at a crossroads with our partners, with no one to guide us. Scrolling on reels, we may often find ourselves finding some “red flags” in our partner that we read about online. It can lead to us sabotaging our relationship based simply on information gathered online. But how do you know if you are in an unhealthy relationship? Look out for these signs; if you tick off most of them, maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship. Identifying these signs early on may help you manage your relationship early on.
Read More: Psychology Behind Relationships
1. Lack of Compromise
Compromise is very important in a relationship. You simply cannot carry out an entire relationship solely based on one person’s wishes. Both the people involved should have a say on what works or doesn’t, and both should be willing to change things if something seems to interfere. If you feel like there is a lack of compromise from one person’s side, it can be a sign to look out for. You may find yourself always changing things about yourself and being flexible, while your partner does not make the same effort. Lack of compromise can also lead to an increasing number of fights between you two, as it leads to frustration at the other person.
2. Frequent Arguments
This is a big tell. Having small disagreements and working on them may indicate that you are working on and investing in the growth of your relationship. Healthy, effective disagreements, according to research, may help strengthen your relationship. But, it can start to become a problem when you start to argue too much. You may find yourself constantly arguing with your partner over small issues that could probably be solved with a little more communication.
Read More: Importance of Boundaries in Relationship
Disagreements over small issues may also turn into large arguments. You may start to target each other, use profanities, etc. Your partner, or you, may unconsciously be resorting to fighting to create space and avoid interactions. Constant fighting can often lead to a lot of the other issues discussed below.
3. Resentment and Bitterness
Constant fighting and unequal compromise can lead to feelings of resentment towards your partner. For example, if your partner asks you to compromise and not take calls from work when you two are spending time together, but they continue to do it still, it may lead you to resent them. You may be angry at the fact that they don’t abide by what they asked you to do, especially when you agreed to it.
This resentment you harbour may stem into bitterness. You may find yourself being passive-aggressive towards them; giving them the silent treatment, avoiding them, etc. You may even start to hold grudges or keep score- “ I have stopped taking work calls at home, but he still does”.
Read More: “It’s more about how to be angry and not about being angry”
4. Constant Criticism
It is important to have a partner who can recognise and help fix your shortcomings. The both of you should be helping each other grow, in this relationship as well as individuals. But, look out for constant criticism from your partner. Criticism, whether overt or subtle, can erode the happiness in a relationship.
They might always be making belittling comments, maybe about your appearance or your decisions. “Why are you wearing blue? You know it makes you look fat”. The next time you pick out clothes from your closet, you avoid the colour blue. It can make you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells, and can make you afraid to be your true self around them.
5. Trust issues
A relationship is founded on trust. Transparency is important to make your partner feel more secure. An unhealthy relationship may find you doubting your partner. Doubt may cloud your mind. “Why do they hide their phone? Why don’t they tell me about where they are going anymore?” thoughts like these can be common. While it is important to not jump to conclusions, if your partner refuses to open up more even after you tell them to, it can foster mistrust. It can lead to a constant feeling of jealousy and even suspicion.
Read More: Importance of Trust in Relationships
6. Lack of Communication
Communication breakdown is a common indicator of unhappiness in a relationship. It is important to have a partner who you can talk to about anything, especially when it comes to fights. Communicating clearly what went wrong, and how you both can improve it, is quintessential to any relationship.
If you are starting to see your partner avoiding conversations, or if you feel unheard in your relationship, it is time to stop and reevaluate things a little. If you are constantly telling your partner to change something that bothers you, but even after continual reminders they do not change their habits, it may be a sign of ineffective communication from your side, or lack of response from theirs.
Read More: Let’s Sort it out: Importance of Healthy Communication in Relationships
7. Emotional distance
There is great significance of emotional distance as a sign of unhappiness. When you are in an unhappy relationship, you can often start to feel quite alone. It may feel like your partner does not understand you or your feelings, creating a distance between the two of you. You start to feel unheard or unseen; you may even start to avoid communicating with them, because it may seem pointless. It may lead to a loss of physical affection.
Read More: Importance of Physical touch and 9 easy ways to cope with its absence
8. Different Life Goals
It may increasingly start to become obvious that you both are two different people- going in different directions. It may seem like you don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things anymore. You both seem to want different things in life- and your relationship. Shared goals and aspirations are an important aspect of a relationship- your values and morals, as well as your future expectations, should match for a successful relationship. differing life goals can lead to dissatisfaction and conflict.
9. Feeling Unappreciated
Constant criticism, frequent arguments and lack of communication can make you feel unappreciated. It may seem like you, from your end, are trying your hardest to make your relationship, but with no response from your partner. You may start to feel heavy with the weight of carrying your relationship. It is important to recognise and appreciate even the small efforts that your partner makes towards you or the relationship. There may be a lack of acknowledgement from your partner. Your efforts go unnoticed by each other and you start to take each other for granted.
10. The Gut feeling of Discontent
Although it is advised to not jump to conclusions after every argument or altercation, remember to trust your instinct. A persistent feeling of discontent or unhappiness can be a powerful indicator that something is amiss in the relationship. Feeling like something is off in your relationship or that your partner is hiding something can be a nagging feeling and start to affect your relationship if not dealt with.
If your relationship ticks off most of these signs, it may be time to step back and reevaluate things. Talk it through with your partner; understand each other’s point of view and decide whether the issues can be worked on, and how. And remember, if you feel that it isn’t working out, it is okay to leave. A relationship stems from mutual understanding and connection; if the understanding and connection cease, it is only right to do what needs to be done and save you and your partner from being hurt further.
This article only acts as an aid to help you evaluate your relationship better. If you feel that you and your partner are ready to work on your relationship, here are some steps that can help!
- Acknowledge the issue
- Communicate openly
- Identify the root causes of discontent
- Set boundaries
- Seek professional help
- Practice empathy and compassion
In summary, being aware of signs of an unhappy relationship helps individuals evaluate their partnerships. Open communication, setting boundaries, and seeking support are key to fostering understanding and personal well-being. Prioritizing self-awareness allows for healthier relationship dynamics and personal growth.
