We all use social media these days. Imagine seeing your friend’s post about achieving a milestone like buying a car at 22, purchasing a house, or becoming a company’s CEO. All this may make you give a feeling of jealousy in your mind. Somehow, this green-eyed monster starts coming into every aspect of life, whether it is your romantic relationships or your professional growth.
Why do we feel jealousy?
There is no particular, research about why we feel jealousy. Jealousy is an emotional response that is triggered whenever there is a threat around the relationships that a person values or fear of losing something that we love. The root cause of jealousy could be the feeling of insecurity and possessiveness. These feelings start coming into our minds whenever we make comparisons between what others have and what we don’t. This comparison can affect one life and growth. Therefore, it is important to know the causes of jealousy and how to stop feeling this way. In this article, we will shed light on how to stop being jealous.
What Causes Jealousy?
In our world, half of the people are on social media, sharing their lives. Everyone shows their “PERFECT” side of life. We all know that nobody shows the real side of their story on social media, it is always that posting that photo with no flaws. Many people see the happy sides of the “ideal couple” without realizing their weaknesses. They also have bad days. Since we try to understand why do feel jealousy, it becomes crucial to what causes us to feel jealousy.
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Fear Of Abandonment:
The first and foremost cause of jealousy could be the fear of abandonment. The fear of being left alone by their close one can be seen in people with the fear of abandonment. It becomes difficult for them to understand that they also deserve to be loved. This fear can negatively impact severely on relationships. It can also develop from childhood trauma leading people to end their relationship just to avoid being hurt. The feeling of insecurity, and not being able to trust the partner also affects the relationships. Therefore the person needs to discover themselves and various coping strategies to overcome this fear. To handle difficult situations, people can boost their self-esteem, practice mindfulness, talk to loved ones, or seek therapy. Ignoring this fear could be a serious threat to the person in the future.
Comparing our things with others will ultimately lead to creating a comparison. People often compare themselves with others and perceive others as more successful, and more attractive than we are. Instead of celebrating your achievements, people start getting jealous of what others have. When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we start feeling inferior and questioning our self-worth because it creates unrealistic expectations. The emotion of envy also arises from social comparison. However, it is important not to confuse it with the emotion of envy and jealousy and both these emotion includes comparison.
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Lack of Communication:
Communication plays a crucial role in a relationship. However, lack of communication can also be the cause of jealousy in relationships. Many times partner, ignore the insecurities, of their partner. Therefore, it is important to have open, honest communication to fill that communication gap and build trust in each other. In a relationship where there is a lack of transparency, suspicions, and trust, there tends to be more of this jealous factor. Jealousy arises when the person does not trust his/her partner. It can eventually lead to very serious crimes in our society. Therefore, addressing these jealousy insecurities is important to rebuild trust.
How To Stop Being Jealous?
It is very important to appreciate what you have rather than seeing other people. Don’t run behind the things that are not under your control and try to be happy with whatever you have.
Some of the ways by which one can stop themselves from being jealous:
Understand Your Emotion:
Seeing others succeed can make us feel disappointed and jealous. It is okay if you are feeling this way, but when it comes to acknowledging these feelings, dont run away from this emotion. It becomes important for a person to be honest about their own feelings and accept them. Share your feelings and become more vocal about your insecurities and your triggers. Try to do open and honest communication with your loved one. By doing this, you can find alternatives for yourself and see what is best for you.
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Every individual is different, and every mindset is unique. Therefore, practicing self-acceptance and self-worth can fight against jealousy. Emphasize more on your personal growth, and achievements. Working on your weaknesses can help you to focus more on yourself. Don’t become more dependent on external validation. Embrace your individuality and imperfections to reduce comparisons from others. Write about the thing you did today in a diary before hitting the bed.
Identify Your Triggers:
Identify the situations that may trigger you to feel jealous. There are times when we may feel jealous, like when a classmate buys a fancy house and we’re still dependent. Talk to your loved ones about what makes you uncomfortable and be clear about your limits.
Make Jealousy Your Inspiration:
Jealousy can inspire some people because it doesn’t hold them back. So, learn from these situations and achieve your dream milestone. Focus on your growth and don’t worry about others. In this way, you start to notice less and work more.
Build Trust In Relationships:
Trust is the basic foundation of any relationship. Therefore, always maintain transparency in your relationships. Ask about their needs and feelings. Don’t make fun of their insecurities instead talk about them. Don’t hold grudges instead practice forgiveness for each other. Always have open and honest communication with each other.
Practising Mindfulness Techniques:
You can overcome jealousy by practicing healthy techniques like meditation and deep breathing. Always stay in your present moment and enjoy that moment. Focus more on yourself and talk positively to yourself. In this way, one can see their positive qualities and recognize their self-worth. It is important to remind yourself that you deserve to be loved, respected, and not inferior to others.