Leaving your first job can feel like you’re letting yourself down, like you’re betraying all the time and effort you put in and what the job has come to mean to you. Quitting is socially viewed as a sign of weakness, and you may feel like you’re wasting your time and what others will think. But you can think of leaving as an act of courage in the name of self-preservation and growth! If your job does not align with your values or mental health, staying in it may be worse than leaving (Demirkaya et al., 2022).
Psychologists have proposed some language for rethinking leaving your job as “generative quitting,” a conscious act of leaving a role to open yourself to opportunities that are a better fit for you (Receptiviti, n.d.). Understanding quitting generatively rethinks an anxious process into an empowering movement toward designing a career that aligns best with the person we want to be.
Read More: Should you Quit your Job for your Mental Health Reasons? : Psychologist Speaks
The First Job Myth: Why We Equate Stability with Success
Societal expectations frequently mean that remaining in one’s first job is indicative of maturity and success, creating the impression that “staying = success” (Iber, 2023). Families, especially those who value financial stability or who have faced financial traumas, can see job loyalty as an ethical obligation or sign of honour and respect to the opportunity they gave for the job and educational experience. Cultural expectations perpetuate this idea by lauding long-term tenure and viewing early termination as impulsive and disloyal behaviour (Career Urgency & Turnover Intention, 2023).
For multiple generations of young people, especially youth from collectivist and immigrant cultures, leaving their first job could feel as if they are being disrespectful because of the investments that were made to establish their career. However, thinking about the workplace has changed—there are now many examples of workplace trends such as skills-first hiring and other flexibility (Columbia Business School, n.d.). Moreover, the expectations of growth may require movement in the workplace. In 2025, we will see something that HR has been trending: wellbeing and adaptability matter more than hard and fast tenure (Lucas, 2025).
This informs a transition away from things that will keep people stable in their employment, and regulate notions of “career” towards sustainable, fulfilling careers. This encourages people to welcome the idea of “movement” as part of personal growth and career growth, and to reframe their thinking of leaving their first jobs from “leaving” to a part of the changes they need to make to move in the direction of their goals.
Read More: Silent Resignation: Understanding and Addressing Quiet Quitting in the Modern Workplace
Identity and Attachment: When a Job Becomes Who You Are
For many young professionals, a first job becomes a fundamental aspect of their identity, leading to a loss of self when they quit. When self-worth is reliant on titles, performance, and approval from people around them, resigning will initiate an identity crisis (Receptiviti, n.d.). As one writer recounted, her career was so tied to her that it felt like she was losing herself when she stepped away, which was compounded by physical unwellness and anxiety. Psychologists compare this to addiction, where praise or a promotion can act as a spike in dopamine and can induce a “seeking mentality” that takes precedence and negates other aspects of life (Demirkaya et al., 2022).
When the job ends, whether it be voluntary or from a layoff, the ego “crumbles”, and the fragile self takes precedent. Nevertheless, these situations can often be transformative. Experts suggest you can go further in self-exploration if you learn to fully separate your identity from what you do (Kane & Walker, 2021). Through mindfulness and therapy, people can reconstruct their identity around core values like resilience, connection, and balance, coming out as a former self and an authentic new self.
Read More: Mindfulness Meditation has a Positive Effect on Mental Health
The Fear of Regret and the Illusion of Failure
When leaving a job, many people can feel a significant sense of fear-based regret and guilt of failure, even if the decision is to improve their circumstances or trajectories (Lucas, 2025). Our brains crave certainty, and it makes sense that the decision to leave brought anxiety, as it seems like we’re jumping into the void. Acute discomfort can further self-doubt, and it is easy to take internalised criticism on the exit as proof we “couldn’t handle” it rather than as an act of bravery in the direction of self-alignment.
Broader cultural narratives bind us, as we often define job stability as a measure of ability and worth (Iber, 2023). Yet studies show that people more often regret inaction rather than action, and that many stay too long in unfulfilling or toxic roles out of fear, only to find they are even more dissatisfied in the long run (Kane & Walker, 2021). The real failure is not leaving; it is neglecting our own well-being so as not to disappoint or defy societal expectations of what we ‘should’ do. Reconceptualising quitting as a choice for’ growth can help to dismantle the myth that perseverance equals endurance at all costs (Demirkaya et al., 2022).
Read More: Psychology of Growing Positively Out of Regret: A Guide
Redefining Success: The Courage to Walk Away
Quitting might be recognised as a sign of failure. However, we can define it as a sign of self-awareness and courage. Real resilience means knowing when to disengage (Lucas, 2025). Strategically quitting means evaluating a situation, identifying what is misaligned with your principles or long-term vision, and deciding to shift that focus to something more fit. With this mindset, we can transform quitting from a negative to a positive. Research suggests that people who employ a growth mindset perceive challenges as life-providing opportunities to grow, rather than proof of their perceived inadequacies (Kane & Walker, 2021).
They will add yet to “I can’t” and realise that mastery takes time. We can probably have the same mindset when leaving a job. However, we can change this to a more positive reasoning and think of it as self-investment. We can again be autonomous by doing a cost-benefit analysis of the possible emotional costs and future gains. Quitting a job means freeing time, energy, and resources to pursue the pursuits that best fit your personality and your purpose in life. We fail when we stay where we devalue ourselves instead of when we walk away (Demirkaya et al., 2022). Caring for your well-being means redefining the parameters of success, and welcoming change, knowing that each departure signifies a new intentionality in your life (Receptiviti, n.d.).
Read More: 5 Simple Ways to Find Meaning and Purpose in Life
Conclusion
Leaving a first job is not a failure; instead, it’s acknowledging a necessary part of development, and requires depth of understanding and bravery. Certain cultural stereotypes may confuse stasis with achievement, obscuring the truth that real fulfilment comes from congruence and not merely endurance. When identity, confusion, fear, and regret overlap, taking quitting into consideration as an action may help you reclaim agency. True success is acting based on your instinct and values, not on assumed expectations. Quitting could leave you with room to reframe, reconsider, learn, and really take care of yourself in all ways.
Rather than a sign of failure, quitting can act as a manifestation of commitment to integrity. Rather than submitting to environments that don’t serve you, quitting to take care of yourself can act as a success theory, with the premise that you may have moved along and not given up. In an era where careers are no longer linear, the capacity to gracefully walk away (after some consideration) would not say you didn’t stick it out or that it was a matter of weakness. It would indicate you are moving forward and not living in vain.
Read More: How to Handle Work Stress and Avoid Leaving Your Job?
FAQs
1. Does leaving my first job early always reflect badly on me?
Not necessarily. Research shows that quitting can be a deliberate move for alignment, growth, or well-being, and others often perceive it more positively than expected.
2. How do I know if staying is worse than leaving?
Pay attention to your mental well-being and sense of alignment. If distress and disengagement are chronic, quitting may be more adaptive.
3. Will quitting make me happier?
Maybe temporarily, but emotional adaptation often follows—happiness tends to return to baseline after change.
4. How can I reframe quitting so it doesn’t feel like failure?
View it as strategic, not impulsive—an act of self-investment and alignment with your long-term values.
5. What practical steps should I take if I’m thinking of quitting?
Reflect, assess well-being, plan financially, and frame the move as intentional growth rather than escape.
References +
BMC Psychology. (2023). Career urgency and turnover intention among young adult workers: A comparison by gender and employment status. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-023-01434-6
Demirkaya, H., Aslan, M., Güngör, H., Durmaz, V., & Rodoplu Şahin, D. (2022). COVID-19 and quitting jobs. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.916222
Iber, L. (2023). Worker well-being and quit intentions: Is measuring job satisfaction enough? Social Indicators Research, 169(2), 397-441. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-023-03166-x
Kane, A., & Walker, J. (2021, June 25). Will quitting your job make you happy? What the experts say. CNBC Make It. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/25/will-quitting-your-job-make-you-happy-what-the-experts-say.html
Lucas, B. J. (2025, June 9). Why quitting a job you used to love is OK. Cornell Chronicle. https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2025/06/why-quitting-job-you-used-love-ok
Receptiviti. (n.d.). The psychology of quitting: Negative emotions surrounding leaving a job depend on thinking styles. https://www.receptiviti.com/post/the-psychology-of-quitting
