On a Sunday night, Kumar sits on the subway heading home after visiting his childhood friends. The bus travel was quiet, and the lights were dim and low. He glances at his smartphone again and unlocks it, starting to chat with his friends. The moment the screen dims, he jolts. The phone has started to lose signal, and there is less charge than before.
To avoid getting away from uneasiness, he keeps the phone in his hand, but even though he couldn’t use it at that time, he felt something essential was missing. And that little rectangle in his hand has become more than a tool in his life; it’s a digital security blanket. What’s going on? Why does the phone feel like comfort and safety, instead of just convenience?
The Phone as a Safety Anchor
In many ways, our smartphones offer us connection, information, distraction, identity, and safety. They’re always there. That availability alone gives a sense of control in a world that often feels uncertain (Abuhamdah & Naser, 2023). For Kumar, the glow of the brightness of the phone becomes a reassurance that he’s connected, safe. That creates a small anchor of familiarity in the bus travel.
Few studies show smartphone dependency is also associated with increased anxiety, low mood, sleep disruption, and other mental health risks. A study done by Jordan found that over half of the university students have been classified as having “smartphone addiction” as they experience severe psychological distress (Abuhamdah & Naser, 2023). Another study also found a strong link between smartphone dependency and abnormal anxiety levels (Lee et al., 2016).
However, not every phone user is harmed; what matters is how and why one uses it. Some scholars suggest that intense use alone doesn’t always predict lower well-being; rather, habitual, emotionally driven, late-night usage does (Katevas et al., 2018). For Kumar, that late-night scroll might not be about curiosity; it’s comfort he was seeking during the bus travel, a sense of control over uncertainty.
Thus, the phone is not just keeping us connected in the realm; it’s becoming a psychological comfort or an object, a substitute for something deeper, emotional regulation, belonging, and a sense of safety.
Read More: How to Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions
Psychological Mechanisms at Play
The fear of being without a mobile phone is called as nomophobia. Where the individual gets deeply attached to the devices rather than people (Yildirim & Correia, 2015). When Kumar feels a little bit anxious as the screen dims, he’s not missing notifications, but he’s reacting to the sudden absence of a safety signal(the messages).
Persuasive design features, such as notifications, infinite scroll, and reward loops, reinforce this dependency. A mixed-methods study has been done and found that persuasive designs had led 25% of participants to self-report problematic smartphone use (Chen et al., 2021). These features may train the brain to expect reassurance from digital interactions, making the phone a conditioned source of safety for the individual.
The phone as a “security anchor” taps into larger psychological needs: attachment, control, and emotional regulation (Rabellino et al., 2020). In times of stress, uncertainty about the situation or boredom, people like Kumar may reach for their phones. And over time, this habit becomes a learned response, a conditioned comfort or safety that temporarily soothes them, but it may undermine internal coping mechanisms.
Digital connection replaces older forms of safety, such as physical comfort, social support, or stillness. Yet, unlike a real blanket, the phone carries hidden costs: distraction, detachment, and dependence.
Read More: Parenting in the Smartphone Era: Effects on Child Development
When Feeling “Safe” Becomes Mentally Costly
Holding the phone at the time needed might reduce some anxiety, but it also comes with a few psychological troubles. Kumar checks his phone as it makes him feel calmer, and when he is not able to use it, it makes him distance himself from the surroundings, body, and thoughts. Diminished presence. The phone draws attention away from the here and now. Manoj might miss the quiet rhythm of the train or his own fatigue as he scrolls. In seeking comfort, he loses connection with presence (Kushlev, 2025).
- Sleep disruption: Late-night phone usage or being emotionally reliant on the phone can sometimes interfere with our circadian rhythms. Studies show that problematic smartphone usage is directly linked to difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep and poorer rest. Which results in daytime fatigueness (Lee et al., 2016).
- Reduced social Interaction: Though gadgets enable us to connect globally, the emotional safety that they offer may reduce the drive for a face-to-face connection, ultimately weakening our long-term well-being (Nawaz, 2025).
- Device-based emotional regulation: When emotional discomfort arises, reaching for the phone provides instant distraction, but over time, it can impair the ability to regulate emotions internally (Rabellino et al., 2020).
- Dependence on autonomy: The illusion of empowerment flips when separation from the phone induces panic. A University of Arizona study found smartphone dependency predicted later depressive symptoms and loneliness rather than the reverse (Kushlev, 2025).
In essence, the “safety” Manoj feels from his phone is temporary, a short-term comfort that may subtly chip away at emotional independence.
Read More: Forgetting in the Digital Age: Are Smartphones Weakening Our Memory?
Practical Strategies to Reclaim Authentic Safety and Presence
Phones aren’t the enemy; they’re powerful tools. But when they become the only anchor for emotional safety, we risk losing something fundamental. Here are a few ways to restore the balance:
- Assigning a designated phone-free zone or times: During meals, before bed, or while commuting, keeping the phone aside is the best thing. Kumar could experiment by keeping his phone in his bag for part of the ride, noticing what feelings arise and allowing them to pass.
- Use “Do Not Disturb” or quiet hours: Giving the brain regular breaks from constant alerts helps rebuild inner calm (Kushlev, 2025).
- Pause for a mindful check-in thing: Before unlocking your phone, ask yourself: “Am I opening this because I need something, or do I feel anxious?” This develops awareness and self-regulation in the individual and allowing them to do things mindfully.
- Re-connecting both physically and socially: Replace some screen time with nature, conversation, or stillness. Real safety grows from embodied and social connection (Nawaz, 2025).
- Start to charge your phone outside the bedroom: This is a simple boundary setting the individual can do; it can improve sleep quality and reduce emotional dependence (Lee et al., 2016).
- Develop internal emotional tools: Practising Mindfulness techniques, journaling, deep breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques can help strengthen resilience and cultivate internal anchors of safety (Rabellino et al., 2020).
Read More: The Neuroscience of Smartphone Withdrawal: Why Your Brain Craves the Screen
Conclusion
True safety doesn’t come from a temporary relief from a notification ping from a mobile phone; it creates calm and grounded confidence. It’s the ability to sit or stay still, to tolerate discomfort and to be present. For Kumar, realising that he could ride home without checking his phone is a small but meaningful victory. Real safety doesn’t come from a glowing screen, but it comes from within, through connection, rest, and self-trust.
FAQs
1. So you are saying that using a mobile phone is a bad thing?
Not at all. Phones are valuable tools. Concern arises when they become the primary means of emotional regulation or safety. Some signs include anxiety that can be created when separated from it or interference with sleep and relationships.
2. Why do I always feel anxious without my phone?
Because your phone has become a part of comfort thing, person and object. It’s a source of your reassurance, a connection, or distraction. But without it, your brain start to experience temporary disorientation in the real world (Yildirim & Correia, 2015).
3. How long does it take to change phone habits? Is it a week or a month?
It varies. Small changes like turning off notifications can help in days, but deeper emotional recalibration may take weeks. Consistency matters most (Kushlev, 2025).
4. Can I still use my phone a lot and be healthy?
Yes, it depends on how and why you use it. If it doesn’t disturb sleep, mood, or relationships, heavy use may not be harmful (Katevas et al., 2018).
5. What if I already feel dependent on my phone?
Start small. Practice no-phone moments, notice what emotions arise, and develop comfort in silence or stillness. Professional support can help if dependency affects daily life.
References +
Abuhamdah, S. M. A., & Naser, A. Y. (2023). Smartphone addiction and its mental health risks among university students in Jordan: A cross-sectional study. BMC Psychiatry, 23, 812.
Chen, X., Hedman, A., Distler, V., & Koenig, V. (2021). Do persuasive designs make smartphones more addictive? arXiv.
Katevas, K., Arapakis, I., & Pielot, M. (2018). Typical phone use habits: Intense use does not predict negative well-being.
Kushlev, K. (2025). You’re addicted to your phone. Can you stop? This might help. Georgetown News.
Lee, K. E., et al. (2016). Dependency on smartphone use and its association with abnormal anxiety. Frontiers in Psychiatry.
Nawaz, S. (2025). Exploring the impact of smartphone dependency on real-life recreation. Journal of Behavioural Addictions.
Rabellino, D., et al. (2020). Peripersonal space and bodily self-consciousness. Frontiers in Neuroscience.
Yildirim, C., & Correia, A. P. (2015). Exploring the dimensions of nomophobia: Development and validation of a self-reported questionnaire. Computers in Human Behaviour, 49, 130–137.
