The cultural narrative that accompanies singlehood in India equates singlehood with incompleteness, especially for women. The independence that single women are gaining comes to them alongside mental tearing practices such as shame, abandonment, and anxiety (Akhouri, Madiha, & Ansari, 2019; Prasad, 2022).
The societal inability to comprehend a married woman as an ‘angry old maid’ is dangerous for a woman’s mental, as well as societal, health (DR et al, 2024). Nevertheless, for many women, the choice to remain single is not a result of any kind of lack, but instead represents an act of agency and choice that resists the patriarchal norms surrounding gendered expectations and relationships (Kour, 2023).
Though some studies indicate married women report a better quality of life (DR et al., 2024), other research shows that marriage can also constitute a stressor, exposing women to violent interactions, as well as restrictions on mental health (Akhouri et al., 2019). This article will examine how the emotional experience of women who are single by choice or circumstance is complex, living in a society that continues to emphasise marriage as the status to deem success.
Read More: How Patriarchal Norms Shape the Male Identity Crisis
Cultural Pressures and the “Marriage Mandate”
In the Indian context, marriage is not simply a personal preference but rather a deep-rooted cultural expectation, particularly of women. This ‘marriage mandate’, which stems from traditional mores and religious customs, places marriage as a rite of passage that must be experienced for social legitimacy and family honour (Prasad, 2022). From a young age, women are often socialised to believe that marriage is an ultimate life goal, where society perceives it as a stable, respectable, and complete life (Kour, 2023).
Read More: How Does Marriage Stress Affect Our Mind?
Marriage Expectations and the Stigma of Singlehood
Families often exert immense pressure organising meetings on behalf of women, or showing discontent for a marriage not occurring, especially as the daughter approaches her late 20s and then 30s (DR et al., 2024). This expectation is aggravated in public situations, such as weddings and family gatherings, where relatives or acquaintances comment or suggest empathy towards single women (Akhouri et al., 2019). The stigma is factored into the workplace too, where unmarried women are believed to be less committed or too available to work, which only reinforces these gendered expectations (Prasad, 2022).
The media is also a factor in attributing the ‘ideal’ of a married ‘life’ for women and is critical of the single woman. It often frames her as an anomaly or as going through a temporary phase (Kour, 2023). Therefore, being single is perceived and interpreted as not having a choice and a failure with internalised shame, in conflict with one’s identity. This cultural situation provides few options for alternative courses of action. In this context, remaining unmarried is a bold act of defiance against norms deeply embedded in the institutions that shape the culture.
Read More: The Weight of Expectations: How Family Pressure Can Lead to Stress
Stigma, Self-Worth, and Social Identity
Women’s self-worth as well as social identity is significantly impacted by how unmarried people are seen in society, which paints an unmarried woman as inadequate and a personal failure. This, however, is more than an issue of mental health, as it stems from wider, deep-rooted societal issues, as is illustrated by the plethora of terms that have been coined to describe an unmarried woman (Akhouri et al., 2019). Judging a woman solely based on her marital status, as a way to simplify a complex world into ‘black and white’ terms, reveals the standpoint from which she exercises her power (Prasad, 2022).
Single Women and Identity Reconstruction
The stigma attached to being single may also be internalised, leading individuals to view their situation as inadequate and increasing physical isolation and loneliness (DR et al., 2024). The disempowerment goes beyond social standing to include the absence of structural supports, like legal recognition of a woman’s social status, control over housing, healthcare, or custody, and the resulting loss of ownership and social status (Kour, 2023). The anxiety, depression, and identity conflicts that result from these overt and covert stigmatisations are particularly detrimental. In the case of women whose choices do not align with the expectations of their social milieu (Prasad, 2022).
Stigma motivates women to either conceal their status or justify their unmarried status, both of which perpetuate the cycle of shame and silence. Reconstructing self-worth involves an identity shift within which marriage is an optional aspect. The redirect is toward a more self-determined identity that is marriage-free yet allows civic engagement. In doing so, these women challenge the idea that social legitimacy is dependent on marital status, and they are constructing a self-directed identity.
Loneliness vs. Chosen Independence
In India, the psychological experience of singlehood depends on whether it is perceived as involuntary loneliness or voluntary independence. For many women in India, particularly among the divorced or widowed, or if family has forced the experience on them, a life of singlehood can be filled with deep loneliness, fears of dying alone in old age, and limited social support—all strongly related to anxiety and depression (Akhouri et al., 2019).
Stigma attached to being single may also be internalised, treating their situation as inadequate and furthering physical isolation and loneliness (Prasad, 2022). The difference is in autonomy: when people elect to be single, stronger feelings will be ones of resilience rather than of distress (Kour, 2023). Self-chosen singlehood does not exist in a social vacuum. The emotional journeys of most women are paradoxical. Women appreciate the contradictory social disapproval and the public silence around their anticipated future. This perspective makes singlehood a spectrum of social realities in which choice, context, and social support structures are important.
Shifting Narratives: From Deficit to Empowerment
The discourse around single women in India has, in more recent times, been able to move beyond deficit thinking, empowering women and challenging the age-old notion that equates marriage as the default for women. To a degree, singlehood—particularly for women—has been understood through the lens of deficiency, and often associated with feelings of loneliness, instability, or social deviance (Prasad, 2022). However, in today’s discourse, especially in urban contexts, singlehood is increasingly recognised as a valid and empowering life choice.
Read More: How Media Influences Women’s Empowerment
Women Claiming Singlehood on Their Own Terms
More and more women are distancing themselves from the traditional model of marriage, deliberately choosing to stay single for the sake of autonomy, a thriving career, and self-improvement (Kour, 2023). The turn towards singlehood is underpinned by broad socio-economic factors such as the increased level of education within the female populace, higher employment rate of women, and greater financial self-sufficiency (DR et al., 2024). Despite the still limited nature of media representations, change is beginning to emerge with more portrayals of single women’s agency and satisfaction (Akhouri et al., 2019).
Grassroots communities and online networks have also amplified empowerment, offering emotional support and solidarity (Kour, 2023). Even though societal stigma exists, the increased visibility of women selecting singlehood on their own terms changes cultural knowledge. It is important to recognise the emerging narrative of treating singlehood not as a problem to be solved, but as a legitimate and often freeing identity to claim—recognising women’s agency to construct their lives outside the institution of marriage (Prasad, 2022).
Conclusion
In India, the way we think about singlehood has changed significantly, although rather subtly. The cultural “marriage mandate,” which labels single women as incomplete or as “others,” is but one factor driving increasing numbers of women to redefine singlehood as an act of agency and self-autonomy (Kour, 2023; Prasad, 2022). The psychological burden these women bear—against the weight of expectations—can lead to anxiety, loneliness, or attacks on their sense of self (Akhouri et al., 2019; DR et al., 2024).
We should also note that for many women, the desire to live independently often signals a conscious act of rejecting patriarchy as well as the unequal nature of marital exchanges. As literacy rises, more women become economically empowered, and women have other support available (such as family, friends, and work), the environment becomes less constraining, thereby increasing space for women in singlehood.
Changing both from deficit to dignity and from assumption to agency should challenge cultural assumptions. It promotes recognition of rights and liberties for single women. Free to walk a life, with or without the institution of marriage, is an important dimension to consider in offering gender social justice in contemporary India.
FAQs
1. Why is being unmarried stigmatised for women in Indian society?
To people in India, marriage is seen as a critical life milestone that is obligatory, especially for women. They have the societal expectation to be wives and mothers. Unmarried women are often perceived as defying societal norms and obligations. Which subjects them to stigma, ostracism, and perceptions of being incomplete.
2. Does singlehood lead to loneliness and poor mental health?
Contrary to most people’s belief, the two concepts do not go hand in hand. While some women experience loneliness, anxiety, and depression, others demonstrate higher levels of psychological well-being, stemming from the belief that being single is a deliberate and empowering choice. More often than not, the contributing factors to such a feeling of distress are autonomy, self-growth, and financial independence.
3. Can singlehood be a form of empowerment for women?
Most definitely. A lot of women embrace singlehood in an act of defiance against being subjected to the norms of a patriarchal society, wishing to escape an imbalanced marriage, or wanting to focus on more important things in life, such as education and career or to gain personal freedom. Such women view singlehood as a powerful form of self-determination and agency.
4. Do unmarried women face discrimination in the workplace?
Most definitely. People often subject unmarried women to a greater degree of work because they believe these women have no family obligations. This puts them in the unfortunate position of exclusion from flexible work options. And even promotions and career advancements, which are common among their married peers.
References +
Akhouri, D., Madiha, M., & Ansari, M. H. (2019). Anxiety, depression and quality of life among working married and unmarried women: A comparative study. Indian Journal of Psychiatric Social Work, 10(2), 57–65.
DR, A., Somasundaram, A., Rajendran, M., & Arulappan, A. (2024). Effect of marital status on women’s quality of life: A cross-sectional study of urban women in Chengalpattu District, Tamil Nadu. Indian Journal of Community Medicine, 49(3), 412–418. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39376840/
Kour, J. (2023). A study on mental health and life satisfaction among married women and Brahma Kumari of India. International Journal of Interdisciplinary Approaches in Psychology, 1(5), 37–45.
Prasad, D. S. (2022). To study life satisfaction and resilience among married women and unmarried women of the nuclear family of urban Bangalore—A comparative study. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 11(3), 349–357.
