How to Handle Children’s Dictatorial Demands

parents discussing with their child

Parents of highly sensitive children (HSCs), children who process their experiences in the world more deeply, report that their children routinely make these kinds of seemingly outrageous demands, even though children of all personality types have occasionally been known to behave in an autocratic or dictator manner. Generally speaking, HSCs don’t tolerate pain well. Let’s Discover successful techniques for navigating and responding to children’s dictatorial demands while fostering healthy communication and cooperation.

What Behaviors Do Extremely Sensitive Kids Have?

There are a few habits listed below. Such as:

1. They go through emotional extremes:

Because, compared to other kids, HS kids are wired to register their feelings and experiences in the world more deeply. Parents frequently characterize their high school children as being in a single emotional state—either blissful or furious (some have even referred to their children’s rage as “slaughterhouse screams”)—with no in-between. They are extreme people who cry out absurd things like “I never get to sit on mommy’s lap,” but in actuality, this child gets to sit on the mother’s lap nine times out of ten, while his laid-back sibling has to settle for the sidelines.

2. They have bigger reactions to sensory input:

Youngsters who have high emotional sensitivity are also probably going to have higher sensory sensitivity. They are more acutely aware of tastes, smells, sights, sounds, and/or textures. Because the flusher in public restrooms is so loud and startling, they might develop a fear of it. Strong-tasting or scented foods may make them reject them. If they cannot find their cozy, go-to sweatpants, they might have a major tantrum. They frequently have a keen sense of appearance and become uneasy when something does not look as expected. Their emotional responses may become more intense because they feel overpowered by feelings that they are unable to control.

Also Read: Understanding and Managing Overstimulation in Children

3. They are more likely to have meltdowns:

HS kids are more easily set off to feel stressed out due to their heightened sensitivity. They experience overwhelming emotions and exaggerated responses to stimuli, which inevitably leads to more frequent and severe meltdowns.

4. They are extremely perceptive about everything and everyone:

Kids in HS are “processors.” Their minds are always active. They pay close attention to and scrutinize everything. It appears as though they lack an internal filter. They are therefore incredibly perceptive and sympathetic. However, this also means that because they are taking in more than they can manage, they become overwhelmed more quickly.

5. They can be stiff and unyielding, and they have a stronger need for control:

Teenagers in high school often develop rigid notions and expectations about how things ought to be in order to make the sometimes overwhelming world more bearable. HS kids use coping mechanisms to keep an environment that otherwise feels out of control. Some of these coping mechanisms include making seemingly irrational demands about where people will sit, how they should wear their hair, what color bowl cereal should come in, what clothes they will and won’t wear, and how close the chicken can be to the carrots on their dinner plate. Children become more in control on the outside the more out of control they feel on the inside.

6. In unfamiliar circumstances, they exhibit greater fear and caution:

Whether it’s a classroom, a birthday party, or a swim class, when children in high school step into something new, their wheels start to turn. What is this place, they wonder? What will take place in this situation? Who are these individuals? From them, what can I anticipate? Will I be liked by them? Will my safety be guaranteed? Because they are always analyzing their surroundings, high school students are incredibly intelligent and perceptive. However, it can also be overpowering and increase their susceptibility to anxiety, particularly in novel circumstances. They fiercely defend their comfort zone as a coping mechanism, which means they frequently oppose anything novel. They typically struggle more when it comes to being apart from their parents and, require more time to adjust when they enter preschool or daycare. Even though they adore these activities, they won’t go swimming or soccer.

Also Read: How to Prevent Stress From Taking Over Your Life

7. They typically don’t tolerate annoyance as much:

    Children in higher school (HS) are more likely to become distressed and give up more quickly when faced with difficult tasks. They find it intolerable that we are in that space where we are practicing but have not yet mastered a new skill, experiencing the natural discomfort that we all feel. This makes it challenging for them to persevere through these situations, like learning how to ride a bike or figure out how to prevent their block tower from toppling over.

    8. They find it difficult to let go of people and are prone to perfectionism:

    Highly sensitive children (HS) are often perfectionists. They feel a loss of control when they are unable to perform an action precisely as their brain instructs them to, and this discomfort is difficult to bear. They are also more likely to experience shame and feel like “failures.” This is another reason why high school students find losing so difficult.

    Children in high school tend to be more sensitive. They also tend to misread what other people are doing. They interpret everything through a victim mentality, as though they are ready and occasionally on the verge of being harmed. Peer and sibling interactions may become difficult as a result.

    Children’s antics for their demands

    There might be a lot of complaining or a major meltdown.

    These situations are so frustrating because:

    • The child’s tone is completely inappropriate, “obnoxious,” and embarrassing.
    • The child’s trigger seems so trivial and illogical that it gives parents the impression that they are raising spoilt brats who must “toughen up.”

    This presents a significant obstacle for parents who are striving to be the kind, composed, and involved parents they aspire to be. ⁠

    What highly sensitive child require?

    The underlying reason for this demanding behavior is that HSCs register feelings and experiences at such a deep level that their systems are unable to adequately process the intensity of this input, which makes them more susceptible to being overwhelmed.

    • This implies that they are more likely than other kids to experience agitation and discomfort, which may make them more irritable.
    • They feel so uncomfortable when something unexpected happens or when a need or want arises that they insist on having it taken care of right away.
    • They are itching to escape the discomfort they feel when, for instance, they discover that their blocks are not precisely where they left them or when they have to wait for their parents to give them their whole attention.

    Also Read: Why should we talk about Media Framing?

    What parents can do?

    Parents who view their child’s behavior through this lens feel more compassionate toward them and are better equipped to respond in a way that is both loving and effective in teaching children to tolerate situations in which their wishes or expectations are not met. Here are some useful suggestions to help your child learn to make requests in a more courteous and less demanding manner.

    • Have a conversation with your child over dinner about the distinctions between courteous, respectful requests and demanding behavior. When a child asks for something, it’s acceptable for a parent to tell them that they are being pushy and that they should rephrase or use a different tone of voice.
    • Explain to your child that they will receive a “yes” response to some of their requests and a “no” response to others. It’s acceptable to refuse.
    • Parents must set an example of acceptable requests when interacting with others. Demanding parents only encourage and strengthen this behavior when they act out in front of their kids. Communicate with your kids the way you would like them to communicate with you.
    • Instill in your kids the polite phrases “please” and “thank you.”
    • Remain composed and don’t show signs of surprise when your child starts to be demanding.”Is there another way that you can say that?” you ask. Children can be demanding without even realizing it.
    • Refuse to comply with your child’s requests.
    • Disregard the demanding actions of your kids. Answer your child’s courteous inquiries. Reacting only politely will eventually reinforce the expected behavior.
    • When your child starts acting in a demanding manner, talk to the other parent or other adults in the family. By doing this, the child won’t be able to take their inappropriate demands to others.
    • Ensure that your child receives your attention when they behave well. Demanding kids commonly display this behavior to get their parent’s attention.
    • Go over your expectations for the trip and what you expect of your child with them before you take them to the store or mall. Telling the child, “On this trip to the store, we do not have the money to buy you a game,” is acceptable.
    • Teach your child that putting demands on you in front of their peers or in public is inappropriate. Establish a rule in your home that states, “You will always get a “no” response when you make demands of your parents in front of other people.”
    • Refrain from responding to your child’s demands with physical force. Later in life, the child might become more physically demanding of you as a result of this. Recall to maintain your composure.

    Also Read: Childhood Depression: The Cryptic Essence

    It is a gift to both you and your child to not overthink these occurrences. Your child needs to know that you are not upset with them, that you understand what they are trying to say and the difficulties they are facing, and that you will support them in overcoming these obstacles because you are their most important teacher. You accomplish this by establishing the crucial boundaries that teach them how to manage their discomfort now, allowing them to eventually feel less discomfort down the road and frequently become less demanding.

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