Rajat came back from his office, opened a bag of chips and dip. He planned to watch the new documentary released on Sunday, many of his colleagues have already watched it and have praised how relatable and relaxing it is. The new documentary also provided tips about how to foster healthy relationships.
Rajat, however, had a long day; he did not have any energy left and just wanted comfort. Even though he was trying to eat healthy and consume good content, he ordered a burger from his favourite place and started rewatching the show Game of Thrones, even though the violence in the movie made him uncomfortable after a point in time. We all find ourselves in conditions similar to Rajat, where we choose familiar over healthy, whether it is staying in a toxic marriage, a hectic job, comfort food over a healthy one, etc.
Read More: The Comfort of Familiarity: Psychological Safety in Places from Our Past
Why do we choose familiar?
Psychological researches have consistently shown that humans are wired to prioritise ease and predictability over optimal and healthy. Our brain consciously or unconsciously often prioritises certainty over everything, even happiness, which is one of the reasons why most of the people find themselves dragging their unhealthy lifestyle even though it clearly makes them unhappy.
1. Cognitive ease over exhaustion
Robert Zajonc (1968) conducted studies showing that repeated exposure to a stimulus increases a person’s preferences towards it even if there is no logical reason behind it. A similar pattern could be observed in daily life choices, such as one might choose a particular brand because they have indirectly come across a billboard of the brand.
2. Predictability over Fear of the Unknown
The unknown situation always carries a risk of failure for which the brain might not be prepared. The familiar situation, even though toxic, is something for which the brain is prepared. This fear often prevents individuals from starting something new, even though it might be healthy and beneficial. Recent neuroscientific perspectives suggest the brain would actually prefer a guaranteed negative outcome over an uncertain one. (Michael E. W. Varnum, 2023)
3. Energy Saving mechanism
Daniel Kahneman, in his book “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” describes the brain as 2 Systems. System 1 refers to the way our brain makes quick, automatic, and emotionally influenced decisions. This system handles routine or habitual actions without us thinking deeply about them. For example, it might lead us to prefer a particular brand because of memories from childhood or to pick up a familiar product like a favourite cola, cereal, or chips without much thought. (Bonnie Janzen).
In contrast, System 2 thinking involves slower, more conscious, and analytical decision-making. It is used when we need to carefully evaluate complex or important choices. For example, it might work when the purchase is more significant, like a house, etc. (Bonnie Janzen). Hence, it can be concluded that choosing something familiar is fast, automatic and requires fewer calories than choosing something new. The brain might take the cheaper path when an individual is exhausted.
Another factor that affects the choice of an individual is how much they have moved around(Oishi et al., 2012). Compared to those who move less frequently, individuals higher in residential mobility showed more preference towards National chains compared to regional food chains or businesses. One of the reasons behind this could be increased flexibility and adaptability due to a change in the environment. Various other factors affect the choice of an individual; an individual’s preference towards familiarity has been a consistent observation across cultures.
Read More: Why Rereading Familiar Books Reduces Stress and Restores the Mind
How does choosing familiarity affect the lifestyle of an individual?
Many people in their daily life aim to make healthy choices, whether it is eating the right way, choosing tv program, staying in a relationship or a job, answering a question, etc. Individuals often find themselves justifying their bad choices (For example: individuals often make excuses like “I have had a very long day” for postponing important tasks or “I was tired cause of yesterday’s meeting” for staying up late in bed. This, over time, gets repeated, becoming habits and later affects major decision of lives.
Individuals start choosing familiarity over extremely toxic situations. Over time, it can lead to irreparable damage. Unhealthy eating habits can lead to chronic inflammation, continuous exposure to a toxic environment can lead to a cortisol hike affecting physical health, toxic dynamics, along with failure to break the cycle, can lead to erosion of self-esteem and boundaries affecting mental health in the long run.
How to make a shift towards healthy choices?
- Labelling the choice clearly: Often, when goals are clearly set, it becomes easier to follow the path towards them. Similarly, an individual should label their choices clearly. For example, when they are feeling an urge to repeat the old pattern, like eating junk food, they could recall or speak to themselves about their goals, staying healthy or saving money.
- Lowering the gap between barrier and goal: Sometimes, if an individual is exhausted, it may seem tough to cook a healthy meal from scratch. It would be easier if the individual prepared a small meal in advance. For example Instead of a long run, an individual can start by taking a walk. Making the path of healthy choice the least resistant would make the execution easier.
- Dopamine Detox: Following the familiar routine provides a brief dopamine hit. Acknowledging that the “familiar” is just a coping mechanism can make it easier to break the cycle. Dopamine detox can help individuals reset their dopamine-inducing stimuli.
Conclusion
An individual is not weak for choosing familiar; as a human, they are wired to do so, it is a biological survival mechanism. The human brain prioritises the predictable known because it perceives certainty as safety, even when that safety is detrimental to long-term well-being. However, with an understanding of psychological processes involved, individuals can start small, consistent changes that can slowly turn healthy habits into familiar ones.
FAQs
1. How long does it take for a “healthy” choice to start feeling “familiar”?
While the old books say 21 days, research from University College London suggests it takes an average of 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic. The timeline varies depending on the complexity of the individual’s habit and environment.
2. Why do people stay in a toxic job or relationship even when they are unhappy?
This is often due to Uncertainty Avoidance. Even a painful situation can feel safe because it is predictable; individuals know exactly how to navigate the misery.
References +
Van Dessel P, Mertens G, Smith CT, De Houwer J. The Mere Exposure Instruction Effect. Exp Psychol. 2017 Sep;64(5):299-314. doi: 10.1027/1618-3169/a000376. PMID: 29173140. https://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-dissonance.html?hl=te-IN
https://dariawilliamson.com/the-case-for-uncertainty/?hl=te-IN
