In the rapidly developing world, we must be able to adapt to our new environment at the earliest. It is not just about the outer world but also about us within. Our life rarely unfolds as we expect. Plans change, relationships evolve, and just when we feel relaxed, our lives might take the most unexpected turn. While we do not know what is going to happen, we get to decide how we respond to the happening. Scholars have termed the ability to adapt to situations as “psychological flexibility.”
Research has shown that mentally flexible individuals tend to feel less anxious and emotionally distressed (Hayes et al., 2006). Interestingly, a person is not born with this ability. They choose to develop this skill as time progresses.
Acceptance: The Ability to Deny the Denial
To be more mentally flexible, one must learn to accept reality. Instead of denying the situation, one should be able to adapt to it. Individuals tend to put a lot of their energy into complaining about their condition rather than actually responding to the situation.
Acceptance does not imply giving up or trying to like the situation. It refers to acknowledging the reality. One should always focus on finding a solution instead of living in denial. Research has shown that when a person accepts their reality, they feel emotionally less distressed (Hayes et al., 1999). Thus, instead of asking, “Why me?” one should try to ask, “What to do now?”
Understanding Thoughts: Think Before You Believe Your Mind
Cognitive psychology has shown that the mind is able to create its own assumptions about the future (Beck, 1976). Often, individuals fail to distinguish them from reality. Gradually, these predictions result in a feeling of excessive anxiety. Psychological flexibility asks an individual to analyse their thoughts instead of considering them absolute truth.
Mindfulness: The Ability to Live in the Present
We often live in the worry of what is about to happen despite knowing we cannot change it. We also tend to sit and feel guilty and upset about our past actions, although we can no longer change them. Yet, we can hardly ever control any event in our lives. The most obvious moment of our lives might unexpectedly take the wildest turn. Thus, it is advised to live in the present. The ability to be in the present helps in regulating emotions. Thereby enhancing the cognitive abilities of an individual (Baer, 2003). This skill can be enhanced by adopting a few habits. Some of them are as follows:
- Meditation
- Exercise (especially focusing on breathing)
- Listening to music
Read More: Mindfulness Meditation has a Positive Effect on Mental Health
Expectations and Reality Need Not Be the Same Always
Being rigid can get a person nowhere. One who thinks that things must go as they expect is most likely to get disheartened and be disappointed. Reality is unpredictable, and rigid thinking often leads to emotional suffering.
- “I should never get below 95.”
- “I must win this competition.”
- “People should agree with me.”
It is important to understand and accept that things may not always be the way we expect them to be. Albert Ellis’s Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy demonstrates that when a person has flexible expectations, they are much more likely to be emotionally more stable (Ellis, 1962). Instead of thinking, “I must win,” one should adopt thinking, “I will give my best to win.”
Curiosity: The Ability that Turns the Table
Curiosity allows learning. When an individual has a fixed mindset, they often fail to embrace their surroundings. Often, such people fail to accept failures and disappointments. However, a curious mind is able to take the positive out of every negative outcome. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research has shown that an individual is always capable of developing their mind. Thus, one should try to learn from their failure. Understanding mistakes will help them become better (Dweck, 2006).
It is not that one should not be upset about their failure. However, one should always try to learn to fix their shortcomings. Curiosity allows an individual to transform their setbacks into an opportunity to succeed.
Read More: Psychology Behind Growth Mindset
Personal Values: Something One Should Never Compromise
Individuals must learn to focus on their moral values. One must never compromise on their values. Behaviour becomes inconsistent when a person overprioritizes their emotions. In such situations, values bring stability for decision-making. Research in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy suggests that individuals live by their values. When one chooses not to negotiate with their values, they tend to enhance their psychological well-being (Hayes et al., 2006).
Adaptability: The Ability to Accept Ambiguity
Life is full of unpredictable happenings. Yet, humans tend to prefer predictability. In accordance with this tendency of humans, researchers have further concluded that an individual’s inability to accept uncertainty is a major contributor to their poor mental well-being (Dugas et al., 1998). Thus, it is advised that a person try to become mentally flexible. One who is more versatile tends to become more comfortable with uncertainty.
Emotional Awareness: To Understand What You Feel
Many often try to avoid their feelings. They prefer to suppress them and act strong. Although it might result in temporary relief, it does not make those emotions disappear. Instead of trying to forget them, one should learn to understand what they feel. Research suggests that when we label our emotions, our brain finds it easier to regulate them (Gross, 1998).
- “I feel exhausted.”
- “I am disappointed with my performance.”
- “I feel anxious about tomorrow.”
- “I am really worried.”
By simply naming our feelings, we assist our brain in regulating emotions. This process makes the emotions easier to manage. Unironically, such a simple habit can help one react more thoughtfully and less impulsively.
Resilience: The Ability to Bounce Back
Failure feels personal. Individuals must learn to be resilient. It is the ability to accept defeat respectfully and learn from your own mistakes. Research suggests that one who tends to find opportunities in their setbacks to become a better version of themselves is less likely to feel prolonged anxiety (Bonanno, 2004). Instead of asking, “Why did I fail?” one should ask, “What did I learn?”
One Must Analyse Before Rejecting Something
Studies suggest that when new evidence appears, one with healthy thinking tries to find ways to fit it into their beliefs or update the mental model (Piaget, 1952). This willingness to accept new evidence results in better flexibility and greater adaptability. Instead of saying, “This is wrong,” one should learn to ask, “How is it correct?” Flexible thinking does not mean accepting every new piece of evidence. It refers to allowing a critical and possibly unbiased analysis of every new piece of evidence before accepting or discarding it.
Conclusion
The ability to become mentally flexible is a lifelong process. Every small habit and change in behaviour contributes to it. While initially it may seem negligible, it creates a major impact. In a world where everyday uncertainty rises, being flexible helps us to be mentally stable. This ability allows one to guide themselves in the unpredictable world without feeling emotionally neglected or lost. The idea is not to avoid, but to learn to adapt to the situation. It is the ability to blend into the unpredictable moments of life.
Reference +
- Piaget, J. (1952). The origins of intelligence in children. International Universities Press. Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. Lyle Stuart.
- Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.
- Dugas, M. J., Gagnon, F., Ladouceur, R., & Freeston, M. H. (1998). Generalized anxiety disorder: A preliminary test of a conceptual model. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 36(2), 215–226.
- Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and commitment therapy: An experiential approach to behaviour change. Guilford Press.
- Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 125–143.
- Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience: Have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events? American Psychologist, 59(1), 20– 28.
- Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25.
- Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
