Awareness Relationship

Understanding Domestic Violence Through ‘It Ends With Us’

understanding-domestic-violence-through-it-ends-with-us

Domestic violence is a topic that’s hard to talk about but is incredibly important to understand. It’s not only about physical violence, but also about control, manipulation, and terror that can cause emotional trauma to a person. It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover is one such book and now a movie, in which the subject matter is very well communicated. Apart from being a love story with its characters and plot so touching, the storyline treats the audience to a deep cautious approach to domestic violence. In this blog, we will discuss the plot and major characters, the story which portrays domestic abuse insightfully and heartbreakingly.

The Storyline: Love, Pain, and Choices

The story revolves around a young girl, Lily Bloom, who relocates to Boston to restart her life. She opens up a flower shop and very soon makes good friends with a successful neurosurgeon, Ryle Kincaid. At first sight, everything in their relationship looked perfect because Ryle was friendly, wise, and deeply in love with Lily. However, while they continue to develop their bond, some cracks begin to show.

Ryle’s anger issues start to surface, leading to a cycle of abuse that Lily struggles to escape. The story also delves and flips back into Lily’s past, as she reconnects with her first love, Atlas Corrigan, who is the epitome of a loving and affectionate memory. As she tries to work through her toxic relationship with Ryle, Atlas represents a safe and loving space for her. The story walks through an inner struggle of Lily as she works through her love for Ryle versus the fear of the violence that comes with it.

Understanding Domestic Violence Through the Story

Whatever the age, sex, or socioeconomic status, it affects millions of people worldwide because domestic abuse is a terrible problem. It is a pattern of behaviour where one partner abuses the other physically, emotionally, or psychologically and seeks control over them. Due to many reasons like financial dependence, love, fear, and social pressure, a lot of victims of domestic abuse may find it hard and struggle to leave the abusive relationships.

In It Ends With Us, Colleen Hoover masterfully details how domestic abuse can start very quietly and build up with time. While their initial dates seem to label Ryle as a tender and caring partner, his aggressive tendencies are soon revealed to Lily catching her off guard. This gradual shift is common in abusive relationships, where the abuser initially hides their true nature until the victim is emotionally invested and less likely to leave.

The Role of Love and Guilt

One of the most challenging aspects of domestic violence is the role of love that victims have for their abusers. Like Lily, many victims genuinely love their abusers, making it even more difficult for them to leave. It Ends With Us communicates this with the constant battle with love that Lily goes through. She finds it even harder to believe that Ryle is capable of causing harm because she is reminded of their happy times together when he was helpful and compassionate.

The other major factor that keeps victims in violent relationships is guilt. Lily feels guilty for even considering leaving Ryle, especially when he shows guilt for his actions. He apologizes to Lily and promises that this will never happen again. Still in love with Ryle and wanting to believe his promise, Lily forgives him. And that is exactly what happens in abusive relationships: the victim clings to every hope that the abuser may change. As the story unfolds, Ryle’s violent behaviour in this situation was certainly part of a recurring pattern rather than some kind of one-time accident. And still, she worries about how leaving him might affect his life and career.

Breaking the Cycle

One of the most important messages given by It Ends With Us is that one has to say, “Enough is enough,” so that a chain of violence could be broken. Throughout the story, Lily reflects on her childhood and recalls witnessing her father abuse her mother. She remembers vowing never to end up in a similar situation, yet she finds herself in one. Even with her love for Ryle, the decision to leave him is a testament to her strength and her will to cut this cycle for the benefit of her daughter. The book also emphasizes the importance of support systems. Lily’s family and friends play a very vital role in helping her to move away from Ryle and start her life afresh. It also points out the fact that victims of domestic abuse often rely on the help of others to break free from their abusers.

Conclusion

It Ends With Us is a powerful and moving story that sheds light on domestic abuse. The story of Lily helps the audience understand the dynamics within an abusive relationship and the problems that poor victims face as they try to get out. The ending of this vicious circle of abuse and finding the courage to finally escape, even when it seems impossible, is yet another theme of the book.

Domestic violence is a very serious subject that requires openness and frankness in its discussion. This is a story that plays an important role in bringing this vital issue into the light, as well as encouraging conversations about it. If you or someone you know is in danger, you need support at that time. You are never alone, and there is always a way out.

References +

Wikipedia contributors. (2024, August 30). It Ends with Us. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Ends_with_Us

Sheree. (2023, May 3). It ends with us and domestic violence. Keeping up With the Penguins. https://keepingupwiththepenguins.com/it-ends-with-us-and-domestic-violence/

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