The Terror of Success in Women

“Researchers have found that women tend to associate success with more significant negative consequences” (Kosakowska-Berezecka, Jurek, Besta, Badowska, 2017). How often do we come across women who are satisfied with achievements below their true potential? Quite frequently, I guess! But why is it so? Why do women look at success differently from men? Who makes them do it? Or, if it is their perception, what contributes to the development of such viewpoints?

What is Success? 

The word “success” holds different meanings to different people. The dictionary meaning of success includes the achievement of desired results and the favourable outcome of something that we had attempted to achieve. Things that society recognises as success and that most of us chase, at least until some point in our lives, include wealth and fame.

But success can be beyond these traditional concepts and involve things that are more meaningful to people. For instance, showing up for a workout might be someone’s goal, but achieving or not achieving this goal might not contribute to the success status of the person. Nevertheless, if it is something that one cherishes and considers worth putting effort into, it can define the person’s success.

Read More: The Psychology Behind Success

What is Fear of Success?

Before we get into assigning gender, it is important to note that fear of success is not unique to women; it is just more common in them. Being afraid of success simply means being afraid of achieving goals that matter to a person and/or goals that justify the potential of the person. According to psychologist Carl Rogers, human beings have an innate tendency towards self-actualisation.

We are inherently motivated by the need to achieve a higher self, or a self that we perceive as ideal for ourselves. The blocking of this motivation by different agencies of fear is what fear of success is. This phenomenon was termed as Jonah Complex by psychologist Abraham Maslow. Some common signs of this are: 

• Minimizing goals: people who are constantly adjusting their goals to find the ones that involve less effort and fewer expectations are showing a typical sign of fear of success. With efforts and strategies, no goals are unachievable. But giving up way before the efforts are put in is a sign of being scared. 

• Procrastinating: when we avoid completing the tasks on hand and put them off for the last minutes, only to feel anxious and delay the work even further, we are not much away from blocking our way to success. 

• Self-sabotaging behaviour: When our focus is not on working the odds out and, instead, on the odds themselves, we are displaying what is called a self-sabotaging behaviour. Such behaviour involves creating obstacles in one’s path in order to justify the inability to achieve one’s goals. Factors Causing Fear of Success

Read More: The 2 Minute Rule to beat Procrastination

Factors Causing Fear of Success

When talking about women, the most obvious cause of this fear that comes to our mind is that of being left out. There are certain roles assigned to both the genders, and ambition is just not among those for women. Being ambitious and working towards success would, therefore, mean taking a road not taken by many. And the consequence would be to walk alone and be appreciated by none. In other words, the fear of backlash plays a huge role in holding back women from achieving their goals. 

Another cause can be Imposter Syndrome, or the belief that one is undeserving of achieving success and any good results coming his/her way is by chance or deceit. A large extent of such beliefs is shaped by the self-efficacy of a person. People who think poorly of themselves are less likely to follow their dreams against all obstacles.

Though studies have not found any definite gender difference in the domain of self-efficacy, factors like social backlash are more prominent in women and, hence, contribute more to their fear of success. Ways to Embrace Success. It is noteworthy that people are not scared of success itself, but of the consequences that accompany it. So, how can women embrace success amidst the cons? 

Read More: What No One Tells You About the Fear of Success

• One approach is to identify the negative connotations that one attaches to success. Once we know what exactly we are trying to escape from, we can confront it by challenging the thought patterns. If one identifies the fear of being left behind as the cause of avoiding success, she can challenge this by thinking of the people who would join her success party. After all, not everyone is built to resent the success of women.

• Another positive approach towards embracing success is to know that anxiety in the path is inevitable and we need to walk through it anyway. Also called discomfort tolerance, this method can work extremely well in developing acceptance for all kinds of situations and finding one’s way through the challenges instead of escaping them. For women, this would mean asking for a pay rise they know they deserve or accepting a project typically considered suitable for their male counterparts, regardless of how anxious they feel about it. 

There is no battle worth fighting for if not considered important. Hence, women need to understand the negative impacts that the fear of being successful has on their lives so that they can work towards overcoming it. 

The most common impact is a profound dissatisfaction with one’s quality of life. Not functioning fully as per one’s potential can lead to agitation in other situations and impair one’s overall well-being. If the fear is severe and causes distress, it can create the need for expert assistance. Understanding the priority of oneself and one’s dreams and knowing that people also judge those who comply can help us in prioritizing our goals.