Self Help

Resilience: Adjusting Focus From Where You Can’t Do To What You Can

All of us might have experienced drawbacks in our lives, be it losing someone very dear to us or facing rejection from our loved ones. We may tend to look at the challenges and drawbacks as a resource and energy-sucking monster from whom we cannot save ourselves. Some of us, have been fortunate enough to come out of it with little effort while for a few others the challenges appear never-ending. This is where resilience comes to play. Resilience is one’s ability to bounce back from the adversities, stresses, failures, or traumas, for that matter, of one’s life. it is not an ability which nobody has, but yes, it is something that may be built. just like the way we acquire the emotion of fear, we may learn to be more resilient.

People who are found to be resilient are healthier both physically and mentally. They are more adaptive as they think that they have the necessary resources to deal with the upcoming challenges. Resilience has been found as a key skill for pushing people out of their comfort zones and taking healthy and calculated risks. Such people have more trust in their abilities and skills. They strive and thrive in challenges. They know and believe that if life hands them lemon, they can make lemonade out of it!

Despite our best efforts, at times, we may feel overwhelmed by our emotions. To bounce back in life, we need to adjust our focus a little from can’t do to can do!!Easier said than done, there are small baby steps we all can take to gain control of our lives.

Some of these could be:
1) look around for support

We all are blessed with the support system, look around, reach out to them, share your feelings and thoughts. the extreme discomfort you are experiencing because you lost someone dear to you, can be eased a little by sharing the anecdotes of positive life experiences you had with this individual.

Reach out to your family and friends, always remember, that no matter how difficult it may seem, it is not impossible to release the emotions and nobody will judge you for doing this.

2) taking good care of our physical self

Exercising and spending time with one’s physical self must be done regularly. We tend to take our bodies for granted, but our bodies provide us with a lot of tell-tale signs of distress. Being mindful of the same can help us to regain our strength in dealing with setbacks.

3) staying focused

it is very easy for us to get distracted by what we do not have. prioritizing and focusing on all that we have- a healthy body, a support group, skills to deal with setbacks, plan b as a fallback option, may help you to gain the confidence of bouncing back to life.

4) staying focused on goals

whenever we experience something negative or a faced with a challenge that seems never-ending, we tend to lose focus on our goals. remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Revisit your goals, and assure yourself that you can achieve them. if they seem burdensome, it’s time to look within, identify the skills, and work on them.

5) affirmations

Affirmations go a long way in changing ourselves. Choose one positive affirmation for yourself it may be as simple as ‘I am healthy’ or ‘I am safe and secure’. Affirmations are small little packets of energy which we can give to ourselves each day. But while deciding on your words of affirmation, ensure that they are rooted in present and have faith while repeating those for self. Repeat affirmations for at least 21 times a day for the 21 days.

6) finding a purpose

every setback is a time to introspect and find out what we have as a resource. take this opportunity to focus on yourself and explore yourself.

7) forgiving oneself

Let’s not be harsh with our own selves. The first relationship that we have is with self. Can’t we be a little more patient and forgiving to us, it is ok to make mistakes. We all have the right to make errors, grow from them, and carry on with our lives. It’s time to move past what has already been accomplished and consider the situation from a new angle. I am aware that it is simpler said than done. But believe me, each one of us has the ability to forgive, even thyself!!

The Art of Positive Thinking

In this article, I primarily focus on shifting your attention from what you can’t do what you can. Always remember, you have the necessary skills and with the right focus, you can get control of your life. In life, at times, it is ok to not feel ok, but be mindful you can change your perspective and create a path for yourself. A path that may help you to achieve your dreams. Always remember that Edison could make a successful light bulb after a thousand failed attempts.

The world would have been entirely different if Edison gave up. Seligman said that how we look at our setbacks and explain the same to ourselves is also important. Although his focus was more on optimism, in a way he said that if we start looking at negative events as if they are not permanent, stop blaming ourselves for such events and set our goals and persevere in times of setbacks, then definitely we will manifest more resilience.

Setbacks can be emotionally draining, but believe in yourself and have faith that this too shall pass. try finding meaning in small little things from everyday life, think about a hot cup of coffee, look outside the window of your room, take few deep breaths and be grateful that you are sitting on your bed, feel the blessing of those who love you, write the names of people who genuinely care for you. Remember what Nietzsche said, ‘what does not kill us, makes us stronger’. Recall instances from movies, which have a happy ending.

You can and you will emerge as a winner!!!
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