We often assume that a family is defined by blood relations, but shouldn’t it be defined by those individuals who offer unconditional love, support, security, and the simple freedom to be who you truly are? For many within the LGBTQ community, this isn’t just a philosophical question but rather their basis for survival. The concept of choosing a family with members who intentionally form close and supportive relationships built on mutual love and care is known as a chosen family, an option preferred by many transgender individuals.
The members of these families may not be biologically related, but still, they fill the traditional family roles (G.Gate, 2023). This article addresses the role of chosen families in promoting the mental health of trans individuals. It examines the different mental health conditions they endure in society and how the community-based support systems prevent the damage of social rejection and promote healing, self-worth, and emotional stability in trans lives.
Read More: Family Acceptance and LGBTQ+ Youth
Why Chosen Families Matter?
The term family is often idealised as the root of love, acceptance and belonging. However, studies show that to many LGBTQ+ people, particularly transgender individuals, biological families are the sources of rejection, fear, emotional damage, insecurity, and judgment. Instead, the chosen families, based on friendship, community, or loving relationships, are generally characterised as loving, trusting, understanding, and welcoming (Kim & Feyissa, 2021). These bonds are not formed out of necessity, but rather from mutual respect and emotional connections.
The need for a chosen family, in most cases, is a direct outcome of the trauma caused by the biological family. The feeling of rejection begins at home, and transgender individuals often endure invalidation, emotional abuse, or silence and neglect regarding their identities. In addition to their own homes and families, gay people are also criminalised in 72 countries and are even punishable by death in some. Transgender individuals, particularly youth, flee to escape death threats, forced attempts at ‘conversion,’ or violence within society.
Refugees around the globe have increased to more than 79 million, with LGBTQ + refugees becoming a significant part of this group. Under these hostile conditions, chosen families are not only emotionally significant but also often lifesaving. They provide protection, social support, gender reassurance, and psychological safety (Kim & Feyissa, 2021).
Read More: Mental Health in the LGBTQIA+: A Persistent Concern
Mental Health Challenges Among Transgender Individuals
Transgender individuals experience severe mental health issues, which are often influenced by prejudice and discrimination, social rejection, and stigma based on their identity. Research shows that nearly 58% of transgender individuals have been diagnosed with at least one mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression, based on the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) guidelines (Wanta et al., 2019).
1. High Rates of Anxiety and Depression
Anxiety and depression are particularly prevalent disorders among the transgender population (Wanta et al., 2019). According to surveys like Rainbow Health and the Trevor Project, over 90% of transgender Minnesotans report feeling anxious at least once a week, and nearly 79% of trans youth experience frequent symptoms of anxiety. Depression follows a similar pattern. About 85% of transgender individuals report feeling down weekly, exceeding the 6% seen in the general population. The reports further analysed that the cause of such disparity was due to emotional negligence. And social stigma that promotes internalisation of the stigma, thereby deteriorating the mental health of transgender individuals.
2. Impact of Gender Dysphoria
Gender dysphoria is an emotional strain that individuals face when their sense of self and identity do not align with their sex at birth. Most trans youth are not in gender-affirming families. This absence of support may increase the sense of isolation, which has been directly associated with a heightened risk of suicidal tendencies and self-harm. Additionally, more than one in five trans youth have been threatened with or have undergone conversion or ‘cure’ therapy, which is extremely harmful both physically and mentally.
Read More: Is Gender Dysphoria Associated With Paranoia in Patients?
3. Discrimination and Its Effects
Additional stressors, including bullying, discrimination, misgendering, hate crimes, etc., can exacerbate psychological distress. Studies show that a high proportion of approximately 71% of trans youth have experienced gender-identity discrimination. A worrying percentage (93%) of trans individuals are also excluded from gender-affirming medical care due to an increased number of anti-trans laws and regulations (Health Partners, 2017).
The Role of Community Support and Chosen Families in Trans Well-Being
More than simple personal interactions, a wider community support and relationships, such as chosen families, are crucial to the health of transgender individuals. The following are some of the values and benefits of chosen families and community support.
- Chosen families can significantly develop emotional strength to function as a barrier to the external society’s negativity about gender identity.
- A chosen family provides immense support in cases where trans individuals experience discrimination, hate crimes, being misgendered and other important social issues, such as restrictions on entering gender-specific bathrooms or not being accepted at school or work. Research shows that 50% of trans youth feel that their schools aren’t gender affirming, increasing the need for such support systems even more crucial.
- These families also fill the emotional void that was left by the trauma of being rejected by their biological families. They celebrate milestones, embrace personal differences, and restore the feeling of belonging (Highland Park Holistic Therapy, 2023).
- Additionally, chosen families are significantly helpful in combating other challenges, such as discrimination in healthcare and law. A chosen family may also provide educational resources, emotional support, and other forms of aid to help individuals navigate these difficult situations.
- Furthermore, chosen families and other community organisations play a vital role in supporting trans individuals facing financial difficulties due to discrimination, which limits access to housing and employment opportunities.
Read More: How Chosen Families Support Trans Mental Health
Starting and Growing a Chosen Family
Building a chosen family is not an immediate or spontaneous process; it takes effort and immense trust to understand the fellow members and feel an emotional attachment. Know that developing trust and respect are slow processes. And without putting effort into building connections, the idea of a chosen family may simply remain in thoughts rather than action. The first step involves knowing yourself, including your values, interests, and most importantly, your readiness to join or build a chosen family. This self-awareness can lead you to community groups or organisations where you truly feel a sense of belonging.
Then, put in effort researching communities that support your beliefs. These may include online communities, local support groups, or large organisations (Newport Institute, 2024). Do not overlook your existing relationships. Sometimes your chosen families can simply be supportive friends, classmates, mentors, etc. Request suggestions and even attend events together to make this journey easy. Lastly, take into consideration that good relationships require time and attention.
Conclusion
Chosen families are required by transgender individuals, who encounter rejection at home, isolation in schools, and a lack of access to gender-affirming healthcare and laws. These families provide caring and supportive relationships that are particularly essential nowadays, as mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria are extremely common in the trans community. In chosen families, acceptance and reassurance are found instead of judgment and insecurity.
They assist individuals in dealing with discrimination, bullying, misgendering, and other stressors, including financial, employment, and housing challenges. It reminds us that a traditional family does not necessarily provide the required support. They demonstrate that families are simply the group that provides unconditional love, trust, and mutual respect. Ultimately, all individuals, regardless of their gender identity, deserve a family.
FAQs
1. What are some challenges in building and maintaining a chosen family?
Some challenges within a chosen family can include navigating different personalities, cultures, and other dynamics, managing boundaries, and ensuring that chosen family members can offer consistent support. It’s important to foster open communication and establish clear expectations for healthy relationships.
2. How can individuals find or build their own chosen family?
Joining LGBTQ+ support groups, attending community events, and actively seeking out like-minded individuals can help find and build a chosen family. Building trust and genuine connections is key to creating a supportive and emotional bond. It is imperative to understand that it may take time, as these values are difficult to find and form in a short span of time.
3. How can fellow individuals support transgender chosen families?
Individuals can support chosen families by educating themselves about the issues and mental health concerns of transgender individuals, respecting their chosen names and pronouns, offering help, and advocating for inclusive policies. Most importantly, see transgender and LGBTQ+ individuals as human beings, not just by their gender identity or sexual orientation.”
References +
G. Gate, T. (2023). Chosen Families in The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counselling. Sagepub.com. https://sk.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/the-sage-encyclopedia of-marriage-family-couples-counselling/chpt/chosen-families
Health Partners. (2017). Understanding mental health in the transgender community. HealthPartners Blog. https://www.healthpartners.com/blog/mental-health-in-the transgenderperson-community/
Highland Park Holistic Therapy. (2023). Embracing Acceptance: The Value of Chosen Family for LGBTQ+ Individuals. Highland Park Holistic Therapy. https://www.highlandparktherapy.com/blog/2023/10/10/the-value-of-chosen-family for-lgbtq-individuals
Kim, S., & Feyissa, I. F. (2021). Conceptualising “Family” and the Role of “Chosen Family” within the LGBTQ+ Refugee Community: A Text Network Graph Analysis. Healthcare, 9(4), 369. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare9040369
Newport Institute. (2024). The Power of Chosen Family, and How to Find It. Newport Institute. https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/empowering-young-adults/chosen family/
Wanta, J. W., Niforatos, J. D., Durbak, E., Viguera, A., & Altinay, M. (2019). Mental Health Diagnoses Among Transgender Patients in the Clinical Setting: An All-Payer Electronic Health Record Study. Transgender Health, 4(1), 313–315. https://doi.org/10.1089/trgh.2019.002
