Take responsibility over your life

Take responsibility over your life

The main Principle of a holistic way of life is “I am responsible for what I create in my life and all that happens to me.”

This Belief system puts one into an empowered state and moves one from a victim mentality to that of a victor mind-set. However this transition to ‘self-mastery requires being aware of ones thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. Some tools that can help one raise their self-awareness are self-introspection, contemplation, journaling, mindfulness mind body processes and meditations.

Some Practical Ways to live a More Responsible Life

1. Take Responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, words & actions

Our dominant thoughts and feelings eventually get manifested in our outer world as our realities. For instance, if a person has a low self-esteem and expects a failure, then his inner belief system will attract to him the very people and situations that reconfirm this belief and he will face rejection. On the other hand, someone with a positive winner attitude will attract the right people at the right time thereby attracting success to him. This is the LAW OF ATTRACTION in operation! So we need to take charge over the quality of thoughts we choose to entertain rather than letting random poor quality thoughts just invade our minds. We are intelligent beings who can discriminate between the right and wrong thoughts. So,

Let’s use this discretion wisely. Use your will power to say ‘NO’ to negative thoughts!

2. Stop Blaming

We need to stop blaming our upbringing, our parents, our teachers etc. for how we are shaped today in our lives. Blaming keeps one in a disempowered victim state and depletes one’s positive energy. Instead, one should ask oneself, “what can I do now to change my present situation?” or “what is stopping me now from following my dreams?”

3. Stop Complaining and making excuses

Instead of focusing on all the bad things happening in life, one can view these as challenges that have come up, as opportunities for personal growth and for building one’s resilience.
Also making excuses is a loser’s attitude. Have you ever heard yourself make excuses such as:

“I don’t have enough time’’
“I can’t as I cannot change who I am’’
“I can’t do it”
“I’m never going to be able to do it’’

If you have, then stop it and start taking control and charge over yourself!

4. Don’t take things too personally

Develop a thick skin and be strong enough to be objective and realistic when people don’t always respond to you as per your expectations of them. As often it’s not about you, it’s either about themselves or the event or the matter at hand. Keeping our expectations low even from people close to us is sometimes a good idea.

5. Live in the Present Moment

Eckhart Tolle in his book “The Power of now ’’ says, “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have!”
We have no control over our past but we can seize our present moment and turn it into a beautiful future. Ask yourself,” what do I want to make of my present situation?”

6. Be Responsible for your own happiness

Don’t wait for your partner, children, and parents etc. to make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness. Do what makes you happy, be it going for long quiet walks, or indulging in a warm bath, or sipping your favourite drink etc. When you take charge over your happiness and are in a feel good zone that attracts more abundance to you. Know that you deserve to feel good.

7. Understand that you always have a Choice

Yes, know that you are free to choose. You don’t have to remain stuck in a bad job, or in a poor relationship. However, since every choice comes with its consequence, consider the consequences before you finally make the choice. By consciously creating a powerful positive vision of your ideal future, and energizing it by imagining every detail of it, one can manifest their desires and intentions into the real world. This is the secret of creative visualization and imagery as told by American healer Shakti Gwain. So choose a powerful happy vision for yourself and your family and it sure shall come to pass.

8. No one can make you feel insulted without your consent

Stay calm and confident and in charge over yourself when facing aggressive, toxic people. As yourself “what do I choose to accept from this conversation and how do I choose to respond?

9. Give it your Best

Always give 100 % to whatever you have committed to do, even if you have to go an extra mile. Be authentic and always keep your promises. Take positive concrete actions to achieve your goals within the set time frame. This make one more confident in ones abilities. For instance instead of hitting the gym, don’t sit over you tube! Do what you have to do to achieve your daily chores and fitness goals or academic goals etc. Set realistic achievable targets! Responsible people always give it their best and that’s why they are successful people.

So, the take away is take responsibility over your life by changing your perception from a ‘Victim mind-set’ to ‘Victor mind-set’,

“Life just happens to me, VERSUS I co-create my reality by the choices I make”, ask yourself, “What destiny am I creating for myself?”

In this way, one can live the life one truly wants.

Happy Living!

About the Author

Tanya Nagi
Counselling Psychologist.

Ms Tanya Negi is from New Delhi.

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  • Good read Tanya mam. Do write more.

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