What Personal Boundaries Are Needed In A Relationship?
Personal Boundaries in a relationship
Personal boundaries basically means that what kind of behavior you are going to accept from others and what kind of behavior you won't. It’s generally about the limits which a person put to protect their well-being. Personal boundaries are important because it guides the way about how you will be treated, it defines your identity, builds our self-esteem and protect ourselves from violations in a relationship. Setting boundaries leads to a point in a relationship where you are mutually respected and your needs are taken up in account, it also helps in making time and space for some healthy interactions. Maintaining boundaries are very important to sustain a healthy relationship.
Types of boundaries in a relationship:
- Physical boundaries
Physical boundaries refers to your body, privacy , and individual space. You may appreciate public display affection , or be awkward with it. Sharing your inclinations and desires may feel troublesome, yet not sharing them can cause you to feel disregarded.
- Emotional boundaries
In order to establish emotional boundaries you must have an insight about your own emotions and feelings. To practice healthy emotional boundaries one must be aware about the boundaries you and your partner has created in the relationship. Emotional boundary is basically to separate your feelings from another person’s feelings. Violations include letting another’s feelings side lining yours, taking so much responsibility of another’s feelings etc.
- Sexual boundaries
Sexual boundaries includes your presumption about the physical intimacy . It’s about what you are comfortable with and with what you are not. Consent is the most important aspect to be taken into consideration in a relationship. Healthy sexual boundaries include understanding your partners desires and limits, mutual consent and agreement.
- Intellectual boundaries
Intellectual boundaries includes beliefs and ideas. The boundary includes showing respect towards another person’s belief and feelings. If you feel nervous while sharing your feelings with your partner because of how they will respond or if you feel that you cannot discuss some topics with your partner because you feel that they might not understand or respect your opinions then there is a need to create boundaries.
- Financial boundaries
Financial boundaries are about the money matters. Conversations about your money goals upfront, can shield accounts from turning into a state of dispute. If you want to place cash into a different reserve to pay for a vacation and you feel your partner isn't contributing, this could distress you. Having a boundary around this can be useful.
Unhealthy boundaries is equivalent to unhealthy relationship
An individual who clearly defines his/her boundaries will have a better sense of identity and self-worth. Unhealthy boundaries ultimately leads to unhealthy relationship. Unhealthy boundaries include inability to say no, weak sense of own identity, allowing someone to take as much as they want from you, abuse etc. A person with unhealthy boundaries will have low self-esteem and low self-respect, will cater to a disrupted relationship , partner will not protect your privacy, partner will expect you to prioritize them over others, will try to control your behavior, will show abusive behavior and many more things. Unhealthy relationship can lead to fights even over the minute issues , will have adjustment issues and many more things which will worsen the relationship between you and your partner. Not establishing healthy boundaries will ultimately lead to stress, financial burden , relationship issues which in long term create mental stress. Having an unhealthy boundary can negatively affect different aspects of a person’s life.
All these kind of unhealthy boundaries will not only lead to an unhealthy relationship but also to an unsuccessful relationship. Healthy boundary will help to understand that what is accepted and what is not accepted behavior in a relationship. Respecting your personal needs and limits can help in improving and keeping your relationship healthy and strong. Healthy boundaries require efforts to implement and maintain but lead to the sustainment of a healthy relationship.
Some signs of unhealthy boundaries are :
- Letting other person to direct your life.
- Going against your beliefs to please other person.
- Showing acceptance towards something that you don’t want.
- Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.
- Doing something without taking consent.
- Letting other person to define your beliefs.
- Letting everyone to know everything about you.
Some signs of healthy boundaries are :
- Saying no and accepting when someone says no.
- Not letting other person to define your beliefs or self-worth.
- Respecting other person’s values and beliefs.
- Knowing that even your needs and feelings are as important as others.
- Valuing and maintain your personal boundaries.
Advantages of healthy boundaries are good mental and physical health, influence others behavior, good emotional health , avoid burnout, develop autonomy and develop identity.
Ways to establish healthy boundaries in a relationship :
1.Communicate thoughts with one another
Good communication is very important to sustain a relationship . Be honest and respectful while sharing your feelings with your partner. Communication helps to clear out the things and misunderstandings between you and your partner and cater not only your needs but the needs of your partner as well. Communication acts as a key role in the healthy relationships.
- Take responsibility of your actions
Rather than immediately reacting towards things and blaming your partner, take a minute and try to analyse the situation and about your choices as well which you made. Both the partners should understand and take up the responsibility of their actions rather than blaming each other. Not taking responsibility of your actions which create hindrances in your relationship.
- Make self-care a priority
Start taking your needs into account while putting yourself first, by this you will feel more energized, get peace of mind and will develop a positive outlook towards things and your relationship. This will help you to perform your respective roles more effectively and will meet towards the interest of a healthy relationship.
- Never assume or guess your partners feeling
Assumptions could lead to misunderstandings in a relationship. You might feel like that you know your partner very well but certain assumptions which you will make lead to conflicts to avoid that, one must be clear about things and you should better ask them rather than always assuming things.