Is It Important to Take a Break in A Relationship?

Is It Important to Take a Break in A Relationship?

Is It Important to Take a Break in A Relationship?

In relationships, a "break" is a phrase used to describe what is usually meant to be a temporary separation. When you feel like your relationship is going nowhere or you can't quite figure out how to move forward, taking a break can seem like a great way to put your relationship on hold while you figure out what's next. The reasons for taking a break can vary, but the goal is often to return to the relationship with a renewed sense of commitment and passion.

The reality is that every couple is different and all relationships go through periods that can be difficult to manage. For some couples, it can be normal for the relationship to swing back and forth between situations over and over again. Sometimes however breaks can also become breakups.  

Right Time to Consider for Breakup
Breaks must be taken with clear rules and for the right reasons. A break isn't the answer if you're too scared to end the relationship, you definitely know you want to see other people, or you're trying to punish your partner for whatever reason. In such cases, you should communicate with your partner in advance how you feel - you probably need a more permanent solution to your problem. A signal that a break may be helpful is when one person's mental health is suffering and the person cannot distinguish whether the main cause of their mental problems is the relationship or themselves. For that person, the break would serve as enough time to focus on themselves, seek professional help, and see if they are mentally healthy enough to stay in the relationship. Breaks are also ideal when a couple with children is headed for divorce or separation. This kind of breakup, while possible to bounce back from, tends to be a stepping stone to the end of a relationship. But overall, if you're really committed to your partner for the long haul and you've been having trouble communicating lately, a break could be just what the two of you need to move forward. But each of you must be willing to use this time, to be honest with yourself and really think about what you can do to make forever a possibility. This will require some planning. 

Things To Keep in Mind Before Taking a Break

  • The break should not be much longer than needed
    The break should not be longer than four to six months. Clinically, we know that you experience a crisis for four to six weeks at most, where you either adapt to the crisis and figure something out, maybe cope with it in an unhealthy way, or develop the skills to move forward.
  • Determine what things work best for your break
    Every person’s relationship is different from another person’s relationship and hence setting some guidelines which worked for one may not work for your relationship hence it’s on you what guidelines you wanna set based on the basis of the uniqueness of your relationship.
  • Maintaining a considerable Distance
    You may still see a therapist once a week. But would not be having any contact at all. Therapists recommend little or no contact to avoid the opportunity for further failed expectations, and you should also stay away from each other's respective families and friends.
  • Keep yourself busy and engage in activities
    Engage in activities that nourish you and reconnect you with those parts of yourself that you feel disconnected from. The key to a good break is finding what you're missing. Don't worry about being productive, just focus on what you love. You can engage in various activities like journaling, yoga, picking up a new hobby, etc.

Reasons for Considering to Take a Break  

  • Helps in analyzing one’s relationship
    You may hate this stage of fighting and anger. Maybe you hate the fact that you still have to think about your relationship after spending so much time together. But you have to consider it the way it is. Take it positively. Try remembering the good times that you guys spent together. It's okay if you think of a few negative points because there will be a lot of positive points too. It is always better to analyze your relationship and then make a decision than to do it immediately. And taking a break gives you a chance to look at the good and the bad and then think about what next step you want to take.
  • Helps in Thinking in a Better Way when we are Calm Down
    When a relationship goes through a bad phase, there is usually a lot of anger and resentment. You'll end up making decisions in a rush, and you'll also end up thinking about things you never really thought about. And when you take a break, you'll have plenty of time to just relax. Once you get time to cool down, you can think again about all the things that are important.
  • Helps in realizing the mistakes made by both the parties
    And since you've given yourself some time to calm down, you'll be able to act like an adult and look at things from a different perspective. When two people fight, the anger is such that it is almost impossible for one to see his own faults. Ego takes over and even when you realize your mistake, you don't admit it. This is what makes the situation worse. The blame game never ends and it only makes things worse. So when you decide to take a break and take it easy, you will soon begin to see your own mistakes. You realize all the things you shouldn't have said or done. And this realization is enough to eliminate most problems.
  • Helps in Understanding the True Feelings of our Partner
    Time doesn’t matter even if you have been in a relationship for a long. Chances are that one of you will have different or altered feelings, and this is normal. If your relationship has been on the rocks for some time and you have mutually decided to take a break, then this is the best thing you could have done. One reason is that spending time alone away from your partner gives you the opportunity to analyze your feelings towards your partner.

In conclusion, we can state that taking a break is not a permanent solution to solving the problems in your relationship, nor is it the only solution. And whether a break will work or not depends on your relationship. If a break worked for someone’s relationship it doesn’t mean that it will work for you. And taking a break is a door that opens doors for other things which can help in making the relationship work in a better way. Like you can introspect your relationship, your feelings for your partner, etc. Also before taking any step always look over the good and bad and also the consequences of it.

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Psychologs Magazine

India's First Psychology Magazine 

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