How to make a child feel safe & secure
The word parent not only comes with giving birth to a child but also nurtures that child and raises him with utmost care. Being a parent is the greatest boon or a blessing. Now with this comes parenting, which is not only restricted to giving birth to a child or with any kind of biological ties. One can become a parent in various ways, that is by adopting, fostering, or by the law of marriage. In parenting, we ensure a child’s wellbeing by raising them with care and protection so they can have a healthy development. Parenting refers to the whole process of activity in raising and educating a child and a much wider and broader concept. With this comes the installation of a sense of security in a child. A child must feel safe and secure.
Now being a parent one needs to take care of the mental health or mental stability of the child. They must feel loved, appreciated, and accepted when we are with them. Besides care and attention, a child needs a special time, in which you are giving them the power to decide what they want to do. This is especially applicable for parents who are busy with different work schedules. To raise them better, parents often juggle between career and family. If parents give the authority to children what they feel like doing just by reversing the role of everyday listening to what others want them to do, we can see a big shift in change of behavior in a child and this will automatically create a better impact in a child-parent relationship. They will feel more relaxed and start co-operating. Finding time from a busy schedule and putting off the phone on silent at weekends can be a great way to spend time with your child and understand them better.
An enthusiastic parent is highly appreciated by their children. This reminds me of my childhood when I used to look for that enthusiasm in my parents. A small travel plan during holidays and a good lunch or dinner on the weekend might turn your child a little excited. And how much it gets better with time you have no idea. If you can bring that slightest of happiness to your child’s face, it’s a great achievement. You can build confidence in your child’s heart, trust me. You can develop a sense of belonging in them when your child feels accepted. Another way is to communicate with your child, so they can openly discuss matters concerning them. A good parent is not about how expensive gifts or luxurious life they provide to their child or how much investment they are making towards their education, but it’s about how much they can make themselves available and how willing they are in lending their ears when something is bothering their child.
Often we see, children are misbehaving. The reason being the lack of attention. Their emotional disorder can often lead them to anger, misbehavior, or being adamant. So in that case parents need to be very patient in handling their children, showcasing their calmness towards their children, and having faith in their children understanding their state of mind. Sometimes, parents do lose their calm and composed form when children do some wrong, in those situations parents need to come in a reconciliation mode and accept that their children can be on right track again, they need to show the genuine love they have towards their children. Parents should have this habit of communicating with their children daily. When you ask your child about the daily whereabouts, they feel happy and they become more open up than usual. While you try to sit and rectify their poor behavior or habits, and always concluding of No. Try the method of explanation, in this way you can communicate more and as well as come to know his state of mind. Often in this hustle and bustle of life and trying to make things perfect for our children we forget to understand their psychology that what they need actually from our parents and what is making them feel so insecure about their life. We may often hear saying that children are the purest form of earth. Whatever they have in their heart they say it on the face. They don’t hide their feelings, unlike adults. A parent is someone who can understand the balance of soothing and freedom of a child, will have a secure child.
In previous days, when we were raised as a kid, our parents were mostly concerned about physical nurturing of ours. But today those who are stepping forward in becoming parents or are already a happy parent, they constantly have to take care of the mental nurturing as well. Children who are exposed to physical nurturing but are not touched met, or unexposed to mental nurturing have suffered immensely psychologically or might have taken some drastic measures which even caused them to death. We must also take care of psychological health besides physical health. The parents who are neglecting their children for their welfare and trying to create a good fortune for their child. We need to remember the child’s fortune will become good when they see their parents around them. When both security and welfare is offered a child grows well and feel good and confident about their existence and security. No matter how they are born, where they are born, a child always needs to feel secure and attached to their family especially their parents when they need it. Constant support should be beside them to make them feel safe. A parent should not react to their own needs rather they should respond to their child’s needs which will give rise to a highly secure child than an unsecured child. When you mentor the emotions concerning the child, the success ratio of the child being lively and healthy is much higher as that child knows that expressing emotions is not dangerous and it won’t harm them in any way.
We, as parents not only should think for their security but also help them in building meaningful relationships. Not only it is limited to home but also it should be outside their comfort zone that is in school so that they don’t feel neglected and separated from their peer's group. Parents should take the initiative, working towards their child on how to build friendships and also to resolve conflicts so that their child remains grounded without getting into fights. Besides home we must teach our children they have an outside world when they head for school, they must have a positive attitude, greet others, acknowledge people, do not have a nagging nature, stop complaining. So that they get accustomed to the outer world and feel safe and secure over there. These things we must make them practice so that they learn the value of sharing and caring and they don’t develop the habit of being selfish. We must introduce them to compete fairly and not in an ugly way where they land up having psychological issues related to this. For all this, we must put our wholehearted dedicated effort and this begins from home itself where they can inculcate these habits with the help of families, where families eat together, spend time together, communicate well with each other, try to understand their child’s psychology without trying to impose anything forcefully. Parents should also make their children more actively involved in outdoor games rather than involving in indoor games. As outdoor games are much more beneficial than indoor games. For example, a weekend football or cricket game generates more results than giving them an iPad or a video game. In this digital era where personal computers, laptops, or pads get more preference and tops the chart when it comes to choices. Parents can make sure that their child gets exposure to traditional games too which are equally entertaining in terms of entertainment. Digital exposure is also needed but we must know when to restrict our child when it comes to digital media. Besides e-books, we must buy them normal books and inculcate in them the habit of reading. The more we share, the more a child becomes knowledgeable. Their ability to grasp things quickly increases. Keeping aside all the difficulties, hardships, complications in raising them, we must not question a child’s capabilities, we must know the parental importance in their life. By trying to shape them for their future we often forget this. So we must constantly remind ourselves. A child will be full of confidence when they see we as parents are showing full confidence in them. Distrust may drift them apart from mingling socially and it may affect them psychologically. They will prefer staying alone, more than forming their group. To inculcate that trust in a child, it needs to be done from the very day they are born. We parents often wait for the right time for our kids to grow. But that often becomes too late. Because as the child starts growing they become exposed to many worldly things, which might make a child feel insecure and they might struggle with themselves to fit in. The best way to make your child independent is that they should feel confident. If they remain fearful then they will face a tuff time in becoming independent. Parents should try to observe their children. Every child is unique and have different behavior and respond differently. Trying to connect with your child isn’t so difficult. It all needs patience, love, care, attention, and willingness to connect emotionally rather than forcing things to happen automatically. Even if it takes time, we must not lose hope and always give our best to provide that emotional and mental support our child needs from us. We must be playful to understand their psychology. Try to involve them more with us so that they open up and disclose all their fears, insecurities, and worries instead of hiding them and leading a fearful and less confident life. So the first step of making a child feel secure begins from their home.